Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Empire's State of Building

"Pickles reads newspapers and she told me Iranistan tested missiles in the Gulf of Hormel. I didn't know they owned a body of water. They make some good chili!"

"Yeah, Care Bear called 'em out. Just giving you what you want."

"Blowing up brown people keeps the Coke flowing. And if that doesn't work, there's always smokes! Pass me a napkin, trollop!"

"I have no time for questions about the Great Satan. Can't you see I'm listening to the new Beatles album? Yes, music is slow to get here. But not bras and bull semen!"


Anonymous said...

This was just what I needed this morning.

But seriously, 'bull semen' and 'musical instruments'?

Übermilf said...

It makes sense that they'd use the Gulf of Hormel, since the guy's name is Gen. Hossein Salami.

fairlane said...

Ever notice Akjabasblad or whatever in the fuck his name is has "You Could Poke Out Both of My Eyes with One Finger Sydrome," just like Chimpy?

Mary Ellen said...

So that's where all the freakin' bull semen has been going! That shit is almost impossible to find at Walmart anymore. Sheesh.

Dean Wormer said...

You know I've never noticed it before until you put that pic up but the leader of Iran looks a lot like Peter Falk.

"In my day we had these things called books."

susan said...

Empire's State of Building
Cleveland Rocks...even with a shiv in its back.
A symphony must be like the world. It must contain...
Little Chimpy From Tokyo
Ugly Betty Beauty
American Exceptionalism
One bourbon, one scotch, one bomb.
Everyone gets a gold star! Except for you, you kno...
Among the Living
What a revoltin' development!

I just noticed some very nice open source poetry happening over there in your July posts. You probably do that on purpose.

okjimm said...

// 'bull semen' and 'musical instruments'?//

gees, FOT, that is what happens when cattle play with themselves. Horn of Plenty.

...and Bush & Company already exports Bull Shit

Randal Graves said...

FOT, glad I could be of service. Music soothes the horny beast, apparently.

übermilf, HA! How the hell did I overlook that unintentional comedic tidbit?

fairlane, they both do have that squinty hangover thing going on. You think they both stay up late drinking and texting each other?

"Mahmood, your turn to be the asshole tomorrow, heh heh."

ME, have you tried the Super K-Mart?

dean, holy hell, you're right! Time for an online petition to get him to start wearing a trenchcoat.

susan, of course I do! Hook 'em with the most interesting part, the post title, and hope they'll hang around.


Liberality said...

Randal, this post is full of bull...

DivaJood said...

I had trouble focusing on the post itself, because in the picture of Dubya and Pickles, it looks like Dub is doing the dance for "King Tut." I am so easily distracted.

Utah Savage said...

I hate to admit this to all you hip young things, but I rarely watch your you tube clips. Shameful I know, but most of the time you kids have crappy taste in music and though your vid clips might have some great content, my "high speed broadband" connection takes time to download that crap. I try to pick up what you kids are talking about and this seems to be about bull semen--is there a shortage? There's no lack of bullshit. Doing the King Tut song, yeah Diva, so right you are. That prick probably thinks he is the reincarnation of the big Tut.

Randal Graves said...

liberality, I know. It's very American.

diva, I never thought of that. It's also possible that he's lost in wishful thinking about having a bald head to rub.

Randal Graves said...

utah, crappy taste in music? You don't like Beethoven or Mahler? No more basketball players in shorts for you!

Mary Ellen said...

Super K-Mart? Never thought of that. I wonder if they have bull semen in RED BULL? I thought it was the caffeine in that drink that gave you the boost of energy. Maybe I was mistaken.

Oh, and someone should point out to Obama that it's not polite to point. Rude, rude, rude.

kreplech said...

you had me at: "Pass me a napkin, trollop!"

Randal Graves said...

ME, bull semen? Doubtful. Probably just industrial runoff. Of course it's rude. I'm pointing at you right now! Whatcha gonna do about it? Nothin'!

kreplech, just think how fun a McCain presidency will be. You know, until we all get blown up.

Anita said...

my favorite late-night comedy guy is craig ferguson (i wish he would just get on the 'red eye' from california to new york and come sweep me off my tiny [not] feet and marry me, by the way -- hmmm ... while whispering sweet scottish nothings in my ear, of course.)

anyway, i digress:

he calls achemadinajihad (or whatever the f*ck his name is) "ACHMA DINNER JACKET."

that just CRACKS me up.

yeah, i know, i need to get a life.

Mary Ellen said...


I'm pointing at you right now! Whatcha gonna do about it? Nothin'!

Watch it, kiddo...nuns have rulers, and I'm not afraid to use it.

I just noticed that in that pic of Iran's, Ajamalamabingo or whatever his name is, he looks like he's timidly raising his hand to ask to go to the bathroom. Maybe it's that teacher thing in me...but I think everyone should raise their hands if they want to talk to me. Yup...that's the new rule.

Randal Graves said...

anita, I don't know Mr. Ferguson at all, have never met him even in passing, but if you want, I can put in a good word for you.

And like the rest of us have lives. Pshaw!

ME, I'm raising my hand. Can you see what's it doing? Bet your ruler doesn't reach across state lines!

dguzman said...

The Trollop's looking at McFossil like she actually LIKES him. Gross.

Freida Bee said...

I don't want to know what sorts of weapons Iran is making with Bull Semen. Farmers, watch your cows!

I rather think Ahmadinejad favors RIngo Starr.

Randal Graves said...

dguzman, okay, now you've ruined my day. No, no, I won't let you. She's just a robot, there's no emotion there.

FB, ugh, worse than weaponized anthrax! Everyone loves Ringo, much more fun to be around than that dour John.

Tom Harper said...

Mr. and Mrs. Dumbya look like they're trying to do Tai Chi in that picture.

I didn't know Laura read newspapers. I thought she was too busy getting drunk behind the wheel and causing fatal accidents.