Thursday, July 3, 2008


Je suis triste. Because all of my energies, all 0.042 joules of them, are focused on (re)working on that goddamn rambling tale of epically droning proportion -- I find it akin to a giant prog-rock number; cover up the glaring compositional weaknesses with oodles and oodles of noodling -- I can't come up with anything good today.

"How is that different than any other day?"

Go to hell, you bastards. Oh, woe is me, I need some help. Who can I call on in this darkest hour? What judicious wizard, what sartorial sorcerer, what flag-pinned prestidigitator, what sapient practitioner of the blackest arts can lift the ever-present veil of distress and take this deep-seated malady of ennui away from me?

Mukasey the Magician!

"I can help you, young Randal. Here, lie down on this board and cover your mouth with this wet towel. Oh, fret not, child, I cannot divulge my deepest secrets, but what I can tell you is that this is merely a simple and necessary part of the arcane ritual I must perform in order to locate your posting powers aimlessly lost in the nebulous ether."

Just in case I croak -- you know how these magical deals can end up, not that I don't have the utmost faith in Mukasey the Magician -- here's a perhaps posthumous YouTube for your musical edification. Oh what the hell, find another overused trope, a Simpsons reference, at the end.

See, Flying Nunly, I never forget about The Man.
It's Pastoral, so get with the frolicking, mes amis.

"Oh, Homer J., how do you keep your hair so rich and full?"
"Lather, rinse, and repeat. Always repeat."
"Homer J., will you teach us to make love?"


Dean Wormer said...


Because it's necessary to put in place regulations that will allow the FBI to transform itself as it is transforming itself into an intelligence gathering organization in addition to just, and it's some, just a crime solving organization...

Yes. God forbid the FBI be used as it was intended as a crime-fighting orginization.

Thanks for the blood pressure boost, randal.

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Love the Pastoral. But dude, I'm waiting for the day we can post the chain smashing end of Fidelio:

DivaJood said...

Um, Randal? Does the heinous AP know you've referenced them? Acause they are nasty mofos.

Randal Graves said...

dean, and that really wasn't the intent of this post. Wow, I'm starting to get the hang of this Republican thing!

Piss People Off Without Really Trying by Richard Cheney.

UC, sadly, that won't happen for a long time, if ever.

diva, hey, I only referenced them, I didn't quote them, I don't owe those bastards one red cent.

Liberality said...

even when you claim you have nothing to say you still crack me up :~)

DivaJood said...

Whew. I got worried that my campaign manager might wind up in the slammer.

Mary Ellen said...

Finally! Some music I can listen to! Vielen Dank, dass Sie, sehr geehrter Herr!

Randal Graves said...

liberality, since I'm usually in a crap mood, that's not a good sign. ;-)

diva, if I did, I'd simply lie and tell them I'm a Republican.

ME, sprechen sie deutsch? Nein, ich lerne deutsch! Vo ist meine brieftasche? Ich gehe in die stadt!
And that's the extent of the German I remember from high school. Next time, speak French!

Spartacus said...

Dude, if you're stuck don't go to Muckasey. Light up a doob and turn on some Yes or Rush. That'll get you wordsmithery going.

Bradda said...

Awwwww, the video is only 35 minutes long! I had an hour and a half to kill...what shall I do?

American Hill BIlly said...

Uh??? The Warlock looking dude at the top seems likes he could like not very very so old young men. Homer gave a chuckle,

Peace and Freedom

Beach Bum said...

Homer doing a three-some? Some part of me realizes that he would be apart of one before I would ever have the same chance and he is a damn cartoon character. Life is so freaking unfair.

Utah Savage said...

This is the second time I've heard a man use the word "trope" in two days. This must mean something.

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, oh the flowing of the offline text isn't the problem, it's the quality!

bradda, buy the CD then listen to it when you do have 35 minutes. Plus, you'll be stimulating the economy!

AHB, I was looking for a sad dude, and figured that picture of Hugo works nicely. He was in exile for awhile, after all.

BB, you know, you're right. Now I'm even more depressed. I'm going to try being a cartoon character for a bit and see how that goes.

utah, It's secret man-code for something I cannot utter in a public forum. I'm afraid that's all I can say.

Dusty said...

Sweet Jaysus I love the Mukasey pic..where did you find it dear man?

You are always entertaining and occasionally enlightening too Randal!

Je ne regrette rien said...

Next time you're stuck, do a waterboarding experiment on yourself and then write about THAT.

Hey, if it was good enough for Christopher Hitchens. and I really want to know. from someone I trust.

Randal Graves said...

dusty, and divulge my deepest secrets? Occasionally enlightening? Thanks for the backhanded comp - no, that's fair. ;-)

JNRR, since I already know it's torture, I'll pass, but thanks for trusting me to the point of waterboarding.

Madam Z said...

Mukasey makes BUSH sound smart! He MUST be a magician!

Randal Graves said...