Wednesday, July 2, 2008

One bourbon, one scotch, one bomb.

Fuck all of your stupid political and military benchmarks, this is a real sign that things are getting back to normal in Iraq.

Iraqis no longer have to settle just for thick Turkish coffee, cardamom-laced tea, strawberry-flavored milk or bottled water to quench their summertime thirst. Beer and alcoholic beverages are readily available once again.
Bottoms up, Iraqis! And, um, duck.

"Told ya it was a good idea to invade, heh, heh. Right, Unka Dick?"

But Mr. President,
During the era of the late dictator Saddam Hussein, drinking was common. After the U.S.-led invasion, however, violence and Islamic extremists forced most liquor shops to close for a while.
Oh, nevermind.

Bottom-of-the-bottle update:
Sonics fans, I feel your pain. Believe me, I do. A toast.

Fuck you, owners, the George Bushes of the sporting realm.


Bradda said...

We should ship them cases of Makers Mark for their troubles. Wait, we're their troubles...oops. On a sports side note, what the fuck is up with the Tribe? 2 outs from a World Series to this??

Utah Savage said...

he he. Scary how all of us can do that laugh now. Will it ever go away?

On a lighter note, I bet you're mad at me huh? And do you really have a real life? Kids and all the rest? A job outside of being our slave? Fuck man. No wonder you sleep so little and arrive so early. Dude, you got my sympathy.

I have no life at all, and I feel so lucky, to live in a cave with dog for company--sounds real inviting doesn't it?

Stella said...

Yeah, there you go. A Muslim Country. Unka Dick in the background whining, "Get 'em all drunk, Bushy Boy. Then we can figure out who to bomb next."

Will it end on January 20, 2009? I don't know how much more war, etc., the world can take.

That wink makes him look all the more crass, ignorant, sordid, and slimy.

Hey, but the post is funny! Randal rocks!

Stella said...

Sorry, sincere comment on the post. No sarcasm intended.

DivaJood said...

Is Bush winking? I thought he was taking a huge dump standing up.

okjimm said...

//Taking a dump standing up//??

Nah, that can't be it. That would be too much like multi-tasking for him.

FranIAm said...

Everybody funny... now you funny too!

Randal Graves said...

bradda, funny you should mention them since their bullpen blew it yet again. When it's over a full run worse than last year, there's your answer.

utah, I never get mad, I'm extremely mellow. I have bridges for sale, too! But hey, let's not make it sound like I'm doing something grandiose here, sure my wife and kids are insane, but aren't all families?

Believe me, there are many days where living in a cave w/o worrying about other fuckers sounds real inviting.

stella, sarcasm is fine. In case you haven't noticed, this isn't exactly the world's most serious blog.

The only thing that picture needs to be complete is a Snidely Whiplash moustache on Dick. What a vile fuck.

diva, um, thanks for that.

okjimm, HA!

fran, if we didn't laugh or at least try to be funny, we'd all be screaming at the top of our lungs.

Hmm, maybe that'll get me a few days of paid R&R....

Dean Wormer said...

In case you haven't noticed, this isn't exactly the world's most serious blog.


That can't be right.

DivaJood said...

You know, as a grandmother, I can say things like that. AND get away with it.

Randal Graves said...

dean, shhhh! I don't want that getting out!

diva, so I have to wait until my kids have kids before I can start with the dirty talk, huh.

DivaJood said...

I am the picture of innocence. Really.

Randal Graves said...

I think with a bit more practice, you might actually be convincing.

Spartacus said...

I was going to crack open a frosty one and toast to this post, but then I saw that the Sonics are leaving Seattle and decided to put the bottle away. How you manage to make these obtuse connections is beyond me, dude. Let's the Oklahoma City what's their names doesn't hire John Starks to coach.

Mary Ellen said...

Randal- What? You don't know German? Ok then...

Möchten Sie scharfe Sex-und dann gehen wir für ein wenig Bier und Bratwurst?

Stella said...

LOL, randal and divajood. Cheney the "vile fuck." Oh, that's an absolutely fucking perfect epithet.

And divajood, maybe I missed something. Sure I did. Bushit is taking a shit. All over this country.

Hey, randal, just wanted to make sure. (~whew~) So, now, I can be my cranky, satiric self. A great weekend to all of you...

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, well, when the Browns left, I might have taken a few sips of an alcoholic beverage. ;-)

Hey look, Starks just missed another shot.

ME, Selbstverständlich wurde ich ! (don't blame me if that makes no sense, blame The Google)

stella, are you kidding? We're like the old army, be all you can be, and if that means angry and/or snarky, so be it! Not sure about the strong part though, I haven't worked out in ages.