Sunday, August 24, 2008

What's on the teevee?*

"The Dumbass National Convention starts tomorrow."

"I'd rather watch reruns of Gimme A Break."

"Better than reliving them day after day."

"Oh, behave. I'll tell the Denver PD you've got a map."

"At least I don't have a football helmet. Then I could really do some damage."

"Or we could send you guys and you could argue."

"I thought I told you to stop encouraging your sister."

"You know I never would. What's Gimme A Break?"

"What I say every time your mother opens her mouth."



"But I need the alarm for work."

"You don't have work tomorrow. I guess Father doesn't Know Best."

*dramatization may not have happened exactly as described. The kids mostly yelled their contributions from other rooms and my sometimes-better-half and I slung a few choice obscenities at each other. I like to keep this a family-friendly blog, you fuckers.


Missy said...

Good thing I'm not in Denver, cause I got stockpiles. Rocks. Horse dung. And maps. And helmets.

Maybe you should watch reruns of Fantasy Island.

Tom Harper said...

I have a map and I'm not afraid to use it.

In Seattle in 1999 there were demonstrations against NAFTA and globalization; one of those global trade groups was meeting there. Police doused everybody with tear gas, so the next day a lot of demonstrators had gas masks with them. Instantly there was a law against possession of a gas mask unless you were "authorized." And you thought Seattle was "liberal."

Freida Bee said...

I'm confused. Does this mean there will or won't be one of you chasing the other of you naked around the house tomorrow when the young'uns are at school?

Randal Graves said...

missy, oh shit, I might just report you to DHS right now.

"The plane boss, the plane!"

tom, hey man, those paper cuts hurt! Gee, sounds just like China. You couldn't protest without a permit and, surprisingly!, no one was given a permit.

FB, sadly, no naked chasing games tomorrow, except behind closed doors and as you can imagine, it's hard to chase someone in a single room. The little bastards don't start until Wednesday.

PTCruiser said...

Jesus told me to visit your blog.

Distributorcap said...

guess what starts very soon mr cleveland browns

La Belette Rouge said...

I have watched two weeks of Olympics and then I will watch the DNC and then I will hand over the remote to my He-weasel and I will not get it back until January.Le sigh!

American Hill BIlly said...

Tom Harper, Obviously those "insurgents" in Seattle got what they justly deserved. They should have stayed in their allotted "Free Speech Zones". You know what I'm talking about; next to the George Bush Sewage Treatment Plant"???? Oh, Wait that's a different city; damn party pooping "insurgents". Gosh it is a good thing OUR government is protecting us from Home Grown Terrorists!


Just keep posting pictures of perdy girls! I know that I owe you a picture, or two of some J-lo girls. I am working hard on it for ya'!!

United In Peace And Freedom

susan said...

I'm convinced the all campaigning all the time new breed of US politics is designed to keep everybody permanently distracted while the real rulers go around doing whatever they want.

by the way everybody, we just bombed Moscow - now back to our regular programming (and we do mean you, Mr. and Mrs. Amercula)

enigma4ever said...

( oye Dcap had to mention the browns...not a good week...ouch..)

( and I got Missy's Back up supplies- and more we are ready...)

Could you email me, its a Ctown p;)

pissed off patricia said...

There's a convention going on?
There were olympics going on?

Hell man, football season is about to begin.

Randal Graves said...

ptcruiser, all praise to our Lord, a-men.

dcap, oh yeah, entire Sundays spent on the couch. Well, in between bouts of standing up to stomp around the room after a turnover.

LBR, but it's football so you're happy, right? Right!

AHB, free speech zone. Just the phrase makes me want to vomit in terror. What a joke. At least the corporations have free speech. Hail to our true leaders.

susan, panem et circenses, no? "Pooty-poot, this smart bomb is so S-M-R-T it can look into your soul for me."

enigma, they have looked like garbage, but it's preseason, and at least no one has gotten a season-ending knee injury.

POP, it's a beautiful thing, isn't it. Sniff. Of course, since my Browns are playing The Fucking Cowboys in week one, I'm sure I'll get to hear all kinds of evil hot air, like if I had been zapped to the RNC.

DivaJood said...

What? There's been something going on? And all I got was a lousy barbeque

Swinebread said...


I skipping the convention coverage too. I know who I'm voting for so what's the point.

Dean Wormer said...

Excuse me for saying it but your better half is hot.

Not to mention she doesn't look cartoony like that pic of you with the baseball cap.

okjimm said...

I like conventions. I wish they had politcal conventions like they did when I was High School. Gosh, the 68 Dems in Chicago... that was so much fun to watch on TV.... it was a riot.... a real gas....and so many teams....Kidz vs Kops, Dems vs Dems, Kops vs Dems, Kidz vs. Dems......rather like the Olympics...gees, those were the days, my friend... I thought they would never end

Randal Graves said...

diva, nothing has been going on, nothing of importance anyway, just one of those loser parties that will soon fall before the might of Diva/Nunly. BBQ? Did you invite McCain?

swinebread, heh heh, exactly.

dean, believe me, the de-cartoonification procedure was expensive, but worth it. Now she makes all that modelin' money and I'm living large.

okjimm, well sure, if there was craziness and tear gassing and street fightin' men, I'd watch. Otherwise, baseball it is!