Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Conceivable!





Can't see that --



-- without being reminded of that.















Managing to single-handedly ninja your way past the neverending WND-sponsored wingnut candlelight-n-moonshine vigil after Cheney's death to dig up the sinister corpse and salt and burn said putrefying remains before they have a chance to reanimate into an unstoppable flesh-eating ghoul? Inconceivable!



















Finding out that the Dums are indeed not hacktackular sellouts to the military/industrial complex that most assume, but are in fact actual spineless jellyfish creatures -- from beyond the stars! who crashed in New Mexico over 60 years ago and are kept upright and mobile through plutonium-powered nanotechnology gravity implants controlled via the radiowaves of a mother brain housed in the Nevada underground? Conceivable!
















Calling into work on Tuesday, February 9, 2010 to use eight of the billions of hours of sick time I've accumulated because I'm still vomiting my insides out because of the naked, drunken revelry in the wake of the Browns improbable Super Bowl victory over the two-week long Brett Favre love fest known in other circles as the Minnesota Vikings? Inconceivable!


















Continuing to redefine the term "shitty blog" day after day with such off-putting, unfunny tripe? Conceivable!

19 comments:

Christopher said...

The U.S. has been meddling in the internal affair of the central Asian nation of Uzbekistan for sometime now.

Strategically, Uzbekistan provides a straight shot into Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan. It's a perfect launch point for U.S. drones.

But the most troubling thing about America's "relationship" with Uzbekistan is former vice president Dick Cheney sat on the board of Uzbek Gas and Oil, now Uzbek Energy. It's illegal for a sitting VP to hold a seat on the board of a foreign company. But, we all know the laws don't apply to the Cheney monster.

Übermilf said...

Of all the characters in "The Princess Bride," I most identify with the old lady who screams "Booooo!" at Buttercup while she walks down the red carpet.

Tengrain said...

Despite what everyone says, I do not resemble Westley.

I've never grown a pencil mustache.

Regards,

Tengran

Mary Ellen said...

Never saw Princess Bride---that clip was a riot.

That pic of Cheney was pretty creepy and yet...so true to life.

You're blog is hardly "shitty" and without it I'd never know anything about the FSM and I surely would never use my dictionary as much as I do when I read your posts. You're making me so smrt. ;-)

Randal Graves said...

christopher, the coolest thing about Uzbekistan is the live boiling of enemies of the state.

übermilf, is proper decorum anathema to your soul?

tengrain, you bastard! You forgot to call me swine! Brain clogged up with decisions on what to buy in the Great California Garage Rush?

nunly, you've never seen that? Rent it, pinko, or I'll post more Cheney pictures!

Tom Harper said...

"Finding out that the Dums are indeed not hacktackular sellouts to the military/industrial complex that most assume, but are in fact actual spineless jellyfish creatures -- from beyond the stars! who crashed in New Mexico over 60 years ago and are kept upright and mobile through plutonium-powered nanotechnology gravity implants controlled via the radiowaves of a mother brain housed in the Nevada underground"

So that explains it. Mystery solved.

Mary Ellen said...

Will do, Randal. When I heard the title I thought it was one of the Walt Disney-Hanna Montana kinda movies. Besides, I don't think I can take another picture of Cheney, makes my skin crawl.

sunshine said...

I've never seen the Princess Bride either.
I still say Cheney looks like my dead Grandfather!
Blogging for Dummies! Hmmm.. I need to take a trip to the Book Store!!!

Ciao for Niao
((Hugs))
Laura

Liberality said...

But Randal--I keep coming back week after week because I love your twisted sense of humor and I really love your sense of snark! Just saying...

Beach Bum said...

Have you no shame Randal? You caught both Pelosi and Reid with their naked tentacles showing.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, your hopeful take on Democrats should be on a large, nicely framed embroidery work hanging in the Oval Office, where the president will see it every day. Another should hang in Majority Leader Harry Reid's office.

For good measure, Obama should use it in his upcoming speech to Congress. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

As for the Cheney portrait and accompanying text, what a terrific Christmas card that would make. I'll bet Glenn Beck would buy one. To send to all his friends. :)

That Face! said...

Oh how I love that film.

...

sorry did you write something?
narf.

Ricky Shambles said...

Oddly, I've always felt the same way as Ubermilf on the Boo lady.

That pic of Cheney reminds me of David Warner as Evil Genius in Time Bandits. Evil...

And hells yeah on the Browns mad superbowl rush! It will happen (eventually)!

okjimm said...

unfortunately the Browns may very well win the Super Bowl.... before the USHey gets out of Afganizi-Stan. How sad. Makes me wanna drink beer.

Randal Graves said...

tom, for years I've been telling people to keep watching the skies, and it turns out we should have been watching government-owned salt flats.

nunly, granted, I kind of shot the load by posting that clip, the best part of the flick (Wallace Shawn really does knock it out of the park) but it's a fine movie.

sunshine, well, you're Canadian, I know it takes awhile for American movies to find their way up the old logging trails. ;-)

liberality, just don't make me post more than I do!

BB, I just threw up in my mouth, you bastard.

SWA, I know Beck has really been pushing the envelope - and kudos for that - but he really needs to go whole hog and do some weird Worship Cheney mass on his show. There can be guest stars and everything!

TF, it was kind of foolish to follow up that clip, no?

ricky, another great flick from the ridiculously underrated Terry Gilliam.

Dude, I'll be a corpse before the Clowns win anything.

okjimm, well, you got me on that. Hell, we'll be there in the year 3000 and I figure we should win something by then.

Dr. Zaius said...

If they have to reanimate an unstoppable flesh-eating ghoul, doesn't that mean he was stopped at some point?

susan said...

Obama may be well read but it's obvious he never got around to the Princess Bride. Anybody know his Netflix sign-on?

Randal Graves said...

dr.zaius, who do I look like, Logic Blogger? He wanted to die so he could gain those swanky ghoul powers. Duh.

susan, I was about to suggest a few timely documentaries, but since stuff like that is always wasted on a politician, might as well throw Porky's in his queue.

Distributorcap said...

somehow i dont equate you with the dummies