Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The power of pasta compels you!

Sure, he's a pointless buffoon, but if I'm about anything, it's being a champion of searching for pointless buffoonery to post about:

Catholic League President Bill Donohue presented a paranoid side of his personality to Fox News Monday morning, declaring that “militant, dogmatic” atheists are “out to get” Catholics
Just the naughty Catholic school girls, Billy Dee.

A few sly .45s. Works every time.

No, that's not spaghetti in my pocket, I really am happy to see you.

Speaking of cans of RC, Ted Kennedy died? When did this happen? Did someone liveblog his funeral? I hope someone remembers to liveblog mine. I'll have a special brownies, looping DVDs chock full of Cleveland's finest sporting chokes and, to lighten the celebratory mood even further, the song stylings of Motörhead. I figure Lemmy is a member of the cockroach/Keith Richards family; they'll all outlive me and the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Speaking of rock and/or roll, in honor of the new Black Crowes album which I'll be snagging after work -- try and contain your excitement, youthful hipsters, you might rip a skinny jean and drop your iPod flush with crap down a sewer -- here's some old Crowe.


Mary Ellen said...

Yeah, that Donahue guy is really strange and annoying. The good thing is that he's old and probably won't be around too much longer. Then I'll take over....bwahahahahha!

I have Black Crows Thick n Thin on my iPod...love it.

Regarding funerals, I want professional mourners at mine, with long black veils and I want lots of weeping and moaning and nashing of teeth. Kinda like the sound of my husband doing our tax returns.

Holte Ender said...

What am I bid: 100 minutes of Crowes for the price of 50. Sold - to the man wearing warpaint.

sunshine said...

I"m pretty sure I'm a disaffected catholic. I'm not out to get anyone though. ;)

I've already told everyone that cares that when I die, all I want is a graveside service. Just say goodbye, throw some dirt on me play "keep me in your heart" by Warren Zevon and go back to your lives. I'll be good with that.

The Black Crows!!! Ooops, I just ripped my skinny jeans. (Ha! Like I can get into skinny jeans...)


Christopher said...

Blend faith and organized religion are among the most destructive forces in the world.

Recently, my buddy Michelangelo Signorile interviewed Pastor Stephen Anderson of Tempe, AZ for his Sirius XM radio program Anderson said the following:

"If you’re a homosexual, I hope you get brain cancer like Ted Kennedy."

The ugly face of Christianity marches on. I don't understand such evil but it walks among us.

Randal Graves said...

nunly, you just want the nuns in hot pants.

When you croak, should we flagellate ourselves, too?

holte, you could be their opening act!

sunshine, can we drink booze? And hey, no hipsters, dammit!

christopher, it would be comical if a gay dude or chick came up with the cure to whatever ailment the wingnut wishes, then they refused to hand it over to said wingnut.

Übermilf said...

When I woke up this morning, I declared it "Ignore Ugliness Day." I don't know why I even came here.

Randal Graves said...

Because I'm so pretty. Duh.

Mary Ellen said...

When you croak, should we flagellate ourselves, too?

No, don't wait until then. I'd like to observe the flagellation now, if that's ok with you. ;-)

Randal Graves said...

Are you sure they allow such kinkiness on the internets? ;-)

S.W. Anderson said...

Pastor Stephen Anderson belongs in an institution, and I'm not talking about a church of any faith. I know the RC church has been hurting for priests for years. Even so, I don't understand how it can keep someone on who exhibits hate and utters hate speech like that. I hope he ends up being defrocked.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Transubstantiation always makes me a bit hungry.



Christopher said...

SW Anderson,

So true.

The Roman Catholics are in a race with the Mormons to win the title of "Who is the Biggest Douchebag?"

Case in point, as the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland, ME has spent itself into fiscal bankruptcy backing the state’s antigay marriage effort, shuttering its churches and listing them for sale on the real estate market.

Meanwhile, Maine’s bishop is living in a million-dollar mansion, where he can molest teenage boys in opulence and splendor.

Hill said...

So the insane Bill Donohue let his paranoia shine through.

You go, Donohue! Keep showing us ALL your fucked up "disorders."

Thank you,


Demeur said...

We all know Richards has been dead for years. It's just that nobody bothered to tell him.

Mary Ellen said...

SW Anderson...you said:Pastor Stephen Anderson belongs in an institution, and I'm not talking about a church of any faith. I know the RC church has been hurting for priests for years. Even so, I don't understand how it can keep someone on who exhibits hate and utters hate speech like that. I hope he ends up being defrocked.

The fact is: Pastor Steven L. Anderson is not a Roman Catholic nor is he a priest, he's a minister of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Phoenix Arizona. I don't know the rules of dismissing a pastor of the Baptist Church is...but the Catholic Church has no jurisdiction to "defrock" a Baptist.

Facts are a good thing. ;-)

This constant drum beat accusing ALL priests of the Catholic Church of being child molesters is absolutely ridiculous. There was just a case last year on that Dateline show, "To Catch a Predator" where a Protestant minister was picked up and another time a Rabbi was. There were even gay men who were caught in that sting, trying to pick up young boys who said they were 13 years old on the computer. They sent them pictures of their genitals and came to the house promising sex. So should we all assume that all gay men are sexual predators trying to molest young boys?

Just sayin'....

themom said...

Everytime I see Donahue..I feel like he is ready to choke on his own spit. If ONLY! Yes, we atheists are going to be the ruin of your precious church...right?!?! A church that has a "ruler" who makes all the rules, but doesn't play the game...very short-sighted. Great post.

Tom Harper said...

Bill Donohue is right. Now that the cat's out of the bag: yes, atheists are out to get Catholics. With inflation running rampant, Catholic scalps are the vogue new currency.

Beach Bum said...

The great career benefit about being a member of the clergy, any clergy, is the discount strip clubs give them. Three highly respected leaders of the religious community here in South Carolina went on their regular semiannual "sabbatical" to Atlanta a few years ago with one of the three being recognized in a strip club inserting large bills into the g-string of one of the girls on stage.

A few snaps of the old cell phone camera and a couple of questions to the staff and all three, all Protestants ministers, actually had to go find real work after the word got out. Apparently these three fine members of the cloth made a habit of seeking divine guidance in strip clubs on a regular basis among other even more unspeakable things during their semiannual retreats.

Moral of the story: Find a strip club farther away from home when you are suppose to be in Bible study.

Frederick said...

Damn they sound gooood live!

S.W. Anderson said...

Mary Ellen, facts are good things, and I thank you for the correction. I heard a very brief item on the radio about this from the next room today and thought it said Pastor Anderson is Catholic.

I don't know if Baptists have some way of pulling a hate-spewing idiot's ticket. If they don't they have ample reason to come up with one now — and use it.

Suzan said...

Hey Randal,

Did you hear the Crowes on Craig tonight?

They sounded a little depressed to me. Or maybe it was too late for them.

Nah. They tape early. But they sounded tired. Prolly from playing over at your place.

Thanks for the memories.

Atheistically apologetically yours,


Mary Ellen said...

SW Anderson- I'm not an expert on the Baptist Church but I do know that this so-called "Pastor" is self-proclaimed. Usually Baptist churches and Pastors come from Baptist colleges. In this case, this Anderson dude has never even been to college, never took a theology class, and just started up this "church" and called himself a Baptist Pastor. He's no Christian, believe me. He's nothing but a hateful bigot who, for some reason, is good at getting the attention he wants and the venues he needs to spew his hate. I would hope that radio stations would just ignore the guy, it will keep him from getting his "message" across.

I have no tolerance for anyone who spews hatred toward the gay community. In the Catholic church, the Vatican refuses to accept the gay lifestyle. Although, in all the years I've attended Mass or studied Theology, I never heard a hateful thing said about a gay person or the gay community in general. Never from the pulpit, that's for sure. Sure, there are some Bishops or other clerics who go off half-cocked and start screaming about "sinful" gays, but it's more rare than not. I just ignore them and carry out my faith in a way that I think is more in line with respect for others, loving all God's people, etc. I'm not much of an evangelist, but I'm pretty sure that when God said he made man in his own image, he didn't exclude gays. That's just my opinion. ;-)

Randal Graves said...

SWA and nunly, I've got your facts right here: the only thing you need in your life is Cthulhu. Amen.

tengrain, we used to rip off those little plastic bags of bread. Handy snack for those neverending school days. Never could get any of the wine though, damn priest always drank the whole thing, lousy drunk.

hill, Billy Dee needs a weekend in Vegas or something.

demeur, if that's true, he plays pretty good for a zombie.

themom, um, could you please not reveal our secret atheist plans for world domination?

tom, I just wish formaldehyde wasn't so expensive. Those suckers start stinking up the joint real quick.

BB, that was pretty dumb on their part. Wouldn't their church spring for a home visit? Much more discreet. Sure, the production values are lost, but one must make sacrifices, amen.

frederick, I was surprised here especially since this around the time of Three Snakes when they were supposedly really drugged out.

suzan, aw shit, I forgot about that! I hope someone youtubes it, even if they were a little sleepy.

nunly, speaking of own imagery, saw a corporate dude walking down the street yesterday and he was working the OT beard. It was magnificent!

Mary Ellen said...

Randal- Cthulhu is kinda scary looking and he doesn't do tricks, like talk from a burning bush or part the seas. Not to mention, he kinda reminds me of that monster I used to see under my bed when I was a kid. Maybe he was a child molester...Hmmm....

nunly, speaking of own imagery, saw a corporate dude walking down the street yesterday and he was working the OT beard. It was magnificent!

Was he wearing sandals? It might have been Jesus in disguise, coming back to save our economy!!!!!

S.W. Anderson said...

Mary Ellen, I'm neither gay nor Catholic, but your opinion, expressed in your last line, mirrors my own.

S.W. Anderson said...

Drat! Mary Ellen, I referred above to the last line of your previous comment ending in "that's just my opinion."

Maybe Randal's throwing out hexes because of this heavy theological digression. :)

Mary Ellen said...

SWA- LOL! Yeah, ya gotta watch the heavy theological stuff around Randal, it makes him moody. :D

I'm not gay either, but I'm Catholic...maybe not Catholic enough for some and too Catholic for others, but I fit in there somewhere. ;-)

Randal Graves said...

You two keep this up and I will start tossing hexes around. Me and the morning star are tight. ;-)

Mary Ellen said...

Ooops! Looks like I owe Randal a little Wonder Woman peek show now. (trudge trudge...digging through drawers looking for my wonder woman underoos...mumble mumble...the things I do to make this guy happy...sheesh) ;-)