Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Finders keepers

They say genius is the ability to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time. What do you call a man who holds two contradictory personalities?

The Devil.

Know what's the work of The Devil? That show getting canceled.

"Do you have a point or just more whining?"

What about two contradictory emotions? A pseudo-schizophrenic? One who suffers extreme insomnia? Kids, never fall asleep -- TO THE EXTREME XTREME! Is Xtreme behavior still a hit with today's youth or are they cultivating more of a detached, jaded retina? Screw your contact lenses, there's nothing wrong with spectacles, or better yet, monocles, as you can use them to fool people into thinking you're smart and smart is way sexier long-term than hunkability, which inevitable fades into couch potatoing so why not get started bright and early, right ladies? I suppose I'm happy to see you, but that's only the remote. Anyway, I find that the following keeper elicits hyena-esque guffaws amidst the bloody chunks.

I just hope the fatal confrontation was poorly dubbed.

Speaking of sleeping, dreamland, darkness, all that good n' cliché stuff us depressed writerly hacks swear by, Sweden's finest, Katatonia -- them or Opeth, flip a bloody coin, just no death matching, I'd hate for these gents to be out of commission thus putting the kibosh on a fucking US tour you lazy socialized health care bums -- will be kindly gracing us with another disc of unfettered melancholy come apropos cold and grim November. I'm so excited, I nearly smiled. In the meantime --

"Gee, didn't see this coming."

It's been seven days, listen to the unwashed masses clamoring for riffs.

"You don't consider yourself part of the unwashed masses?"

I took a shower this morning. In the meantime, I find this moody keeper from an album near and dear to my circulatory system to be beautiful sadness.


Übermilf said...

You forgot to wish me a happy birthday. But you didn't know it was my birthday. So I'll only be mad at you for 3 minutes.

Mary Ellen said...



They say genius is the ability to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time. What do you call a man who holds two contradictory personalities?

The Devil.'s a politician. Ok, I guess they're one in the same.

Never heard of Frank Black...the same guy as Frank Black and the Catholics guy? I looked them up on YouTube.

Anyway, get some sleep. I find that sex is the best way to sweep away all those crazy thoughts keeping you awake. can watch old Mayberry reruns. No, that might make you dream about Aunt Bee and that's kinda creepy. Stick to sex, you can't go wrong with that.

sunshine said...

Now THAT was a sexy song. :) Laura loved it!
It was so cool actually being able to listen to it, full blast without some "kid" yelling at me! Wheeeee!!!

Happy Birthday Milf! I hope you have a lovely day!!! :)


Christopher said...

Sounds like Thunderbolt.

'Specially on 'Fight.'

Demeur said...

Graves you esoteric swine!

I have enought problems following my own psychotic thoughts and you bring this up.

Milf birthday happy.....

Tom Harper said...

"genius is the ability to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time."

We've had several presidents who invaded other countries, reduced taxes for the rich, and they were positive they could balance the budget at the same time. I had no idea Ronald Reagan and GW Bush were geniuses.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Now you've gone too far - dreaming of Aunt Bee getting her freak on is beyond the pale. Was it with Flloyd? It was, wasn't it? I would have guessed she was more of an Otis man, myself, but I bet Flloyd hooks her up monkey-style, huh?



Randal Graves said...

übermilf, yeah, happy whatever, you swanky suburban chick type lady.

nunly, at least the devil is only one guy, and fake. Politicians are quite real, and sadly, everywhere.

Frank Black, that's Millennium, a fucking genius show, but seriously, what's with the Aunt Bee gig? People say I've got problems!

sunshine, they're fucking great, nice and somber and, yes, understandable vocally. Never thought of it as sexy, though. ;-)

christopher, they're from Norway, right? I'm not sure if I've ever heard their stuff.

demeur, I see the Impish Grammarian has gotten to you, too!

tom, thank you sir, about time someone said it out loud.

tengrain, look, you bastard, nunly's the deviant, not me. MILF is my limit, though ask me again when I have my Golden Buckeye Card while working the black socks n' shorts combo.

Holte Ender said...

Sweden has come a long way since Dag Hammarskjold (great band) and ABBA.

La Belette Rouge said...

Does it make me a socialist if I like all the dark, gllomy, strum und drang, and darkness---or just a writerly hack? And, can I like Abba and still be a writerly hack with a dark and dythymic soul? No need to answer as tolerating the ambiguity of the question helps my hackiness.

Christopher said...

Randal, I think so. Or Sweden.

They dig metal over there. Must be a pushback to Abba.

Beach Bum said...

I miss Millennium and thought the second season was the best. That good versus evil shit with heaven and hell in the mix is interesting to me at least. But no,I'm not religious in that biblethumping sense.

Just for giggle try the show "Supernatural" which has some Frank Black elements along with some heavy metal. And the demon chicks are always super hot.

susan said...

Since I don't watch tv I like to play the Residents and read the 'good' parts of Anita Blake novels. It's an interesting combination of quirks.

Happy Birthday MILF!

darkblack said...

I crewed on 'that show' a few times...Nothing like stumbling around on location at 0-dark-hundred setting up C-stands or blacking out complete houses as D4N's - I think the only daylight scene ever during the initial series run was the oh-so-gauzily-wholesome Black domicile exterior establishing shot.
Lance was a great lead, real pro. IMHO, Chris Carter was somewhat full of it when he declared it wasn't a 'serial killer of the week' show for season one promo purposes - but at least it didn't suck like The X-Files (which it acted as a gas flare for, burning off some kook kash).


MRMacrum said...

Sam I am in Baltimore
Where lodging is a cut above
The hosts are always willing
To lend a hand.

Just don't walk ninja the garage.

Randal Graves said...

holte, ironic that Dag took the bus instead of flying with the Big Bopper, then later kicked the bucket in a plane crash.

LBR, short answer: yes, as long as you don't hack Swedes, murder being a crime and all that.

christopher, it's cold and dark most of the time, so it's a wonder ABBA even existed.

BB, I preferred the first season the most, but the second was very good (and the third is underrated, dammit), but what bothered me the most was making the Millennium Group essentially evil. I loved the way they handled confronting otherworldly evil in Maranatha. Peter Watts evil? C'mon.

Supernatural? Hell, I own all four seasons on DVD, dude. :)

susan, now that's just weird. I had no idea who the Residents were until today, and you are the second person to mention them to me in the last few hours. It's a sign from Zombie Jesus!

That Anita Blake stuff any good? Never read it.

darkblack, you lucky bastard. And now you retort with "it was actual hard work, uninformed dumbass."

I've heard nothing but good things about Henriksen, real cool dude, professional.

Hey man, don't be dissing The X-Files, the root of my Gillian Anderson lust. ;-)

mrmacrum, I think you're the first person to actually comment on the Kurosawa part of the post. No else thought that was goofy?

Dr. Zaius said...

"They say genius is the ability to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time."

No, they call that cognitive dissonance. Think Michelle Bachman.

Randal Graves said...

If you can prove that Michelle Bachmann can hold more than one thought at the same time, I'll buy you a chocolate cake.

darkblack said...

You may lust after fair Gillian all you want, dear Randal, although the crew was quite protective of her with all the perverted types about (librarians with their furtive X-ray glances mostly) - For me, all I got from that show was a T11 fracture, several damaged ribs and a few months of wish sandwiches after the show accountant had the bad taste to be given the sack for embezzlement before my worker's comp papers got processed.


Distributorcap said...

you took a shower?

Randal Graves said...

darkblack, that explains your megalomaniacal rage. ;-)

dcap, my sometimes-better-half demands that I do at least once a month.

susan said...

Never heard of the Residents? Well, knock me down and call me a strumpet.. I mean crumpet. They've always been more popular in Europe and Japan but we got to see their 25th anniversary show at the Fillmore on Hallowe'en in 1997. It was over the top. Just in case you don't notice it on utoob I have to link this one. Too bad it's fuzzier than the copy we own but you'll get the idea.

As for Laurell Hamilton novels - only if vampire-wereanimal soap operas with a little confused eroticism thrown in are to your taste. I'd advise sticking with Murakami.

susan said...

Oops, missed a link.