Saturday, November 17, 2007

Bibliophiles

Look what the slimy Democrats are up to again!

Rose Kramer was at her Dubuque, Iowa, home, waiting for the TV show "House" to start at 8 p.m. Tuesday when a pollster called and started asking her about John McCain. After a few polite questions, the caller started saying unflattering things about Mitt Romney.
Gasp! No! Not Willard! I loved him in that killer rat movie!
In another part of Iowa, Ralph Watts got a similar call the next day. Are you aware, the caller asked, that Mormons consider the Book of Mormon superior to the Bible? Would that make you more or less likely to vote for Romney?
Oh. Your. God. Did you know that Christians consider the Bible superior to the Book of Mormon? And that Muslims consider the Qur’ān superior to both? Please, discuss amongst yourselves. I have to sit down for a moment. The vapors, oh, the vapors. I'm so weak. Would you kindly pass me that handkerchief?

I'm better now. Could you be a dear and wring the sweat out of this? Merci, honey. Apparently, be still my heart, this diabolical deception played out in the great state of New Hampshire as well. The disease of intolerance spreads so quickly! Now, what I want to know is what does The Maverick himself think of such chicanery?
McCain strongly denied having anything to do with the calls, saying "it is disgraceful, it is outrageous and it is a violation, we believe, of New Hampshire law."
If this had happened to you, or *sniff* someone you loved - hold on, can I have my handkerchief back, please - I'm sorry, just read for yourself *sob*
"They started by asking about 15 or 20 questions about different candidates," recalled Sabrina Matteson, a New Hampshire Farm Bureau editor who got a call Wednesday evening.

Soon, the undecided Republican said, the caller noted that Romney's five sons had never served in the military and asked if that gave her a more or less favorable view of him.

"What kind of question is that?" Matteson said she responded. After another question or two she got increasingly angry, finally telling the caller, "You should be ashamed of yourself. How do you look at yourself in the mirror?"
You just take a deep breath, sweet, sweet Sabrina, I'll answer that for you! The same way Democrats always look at themselves in the mirror after having dumped their aborted fetus into the imported crystal garbage can, washing the stain of precious human blood away in their polished, stainless steel sink that sits seamlessly within a swanky, porphyry-hued marble counter top that they probably - compose yourself, Randal - fornicate on daily, with a devilish smile at having done the work of Old Scratch once more! What does the Romney camp itself think about such dastardly doings?
"Whichever campaign is engaging in this type of awful religious bigotry as a line of political attack, it is repulsive and, to put it bluntly, un-American," said Romney communications director Matt Rhoades.
Amen, brother. Do you guys say 'amen?' I don't want to be engaging in awful religious bigotry so early in the morning. Anyway, nothing is as unfamiliar to an American as, oh, what do they call those things - it's on the tip of my tongue - dirty campaign tricks! In fact, we couldn't possibly fit them into our already-packed schedules:
"There is no room for this kind of smut in a Republican primary election," said Todd Harris, former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson's communications director.
No there isn't. That's why they invented bathroom stalls.

14 comments:

Freida Bee said...

Pollster=> "Do you know where Romney stands on the issues of this presidential race?"

Pollee=> "You mean, does Romney value the Bible as much as McCain?"

Pollster=> "Is that the most important issue in your view in the upcoming election?"

Pollee=> "Is there any other issue?"

Pollster=> "Well, there's the war in Iraq, possible war with Iran, education and healthcare spending, the environment, outsourcing of jobs, immigration reform...."

Pollee=> "Ya, but you didn't answer my question. Does McCain value the Bible more than Romney?"

Pollster=> "I'm not sure about that, sir."

Pollee=> "Well, call me back when you know and I'll give you my answer. I gotta go. I have to jack off to some internet porn BEFORE I go get saved at church or I'll have to be a sinner for a whole week longer than necessary. What are you one of those liberal heathens or something?"

(We're screwed.)

Tom Harper said...

There's nothing funnier (or maybe sadder is the right word) than seeing a bunch of religious fanatics screaming about which religion is "better."

TomCat said...

If I had to guess, this "pollster" was either a Giuliani or a Huckabee operative.

Randal Graves said...

Freida Bee, heh heh, and you're right. The problem is, it's not the good kind.

Tom, it would be hilarious if only these guys didn't, you know, run everything.

Tomcat, you're probably quite right. They'll eat their own until the general election, then it's all about a unified front against Hitlery or whomever emerges from the invertebrate cesspool. But I'm not bitter.

Mary Ellen said...

If the dirty tricks are starting this early, I can't imagine what it's going to be like in the last few days before the election. McCain is a pig and I have no doubt in my mind that he is fully aware of this. He's fighting dirty and bringing his old mother to do his dirty bidding for him, too. It seems to be a bit of a coincidence that this is happening at the heel of his mothers remarks about Romney.

Not that I'm defending Mitt, he's slime.

DCup said...

Bush's 2000 campaign did it to McCain in South Carolina and he won.

I'm guessing McCain's camp is thinking let's work with a winning strategy.

The GOP = The Party of Manson Family Values

Mathman6293 said...

Please wake me up from this nightmare...

I'm waiting.

Mary Ellen said...

Remember when the GOP had their convention and they dragged out all those babies to show that they had "family values"? I wonder how many of those kids have health insurance now.

The GOP is good with the props, babies, soldiers, hurricane victims....it's all a big stage for them.

fairlane said...

Maybe we're missing something.

Is it possible that for the last 25 years the GOP has been acting out the most elaborate satirical production in human history?

LET'S TALK said...

I commented to Mary Ellen, that I must visit your site after being placed in a state of laughter every time I read your comments at her site.

I think that the Republicans are showinghow they plan to run their campaigns against the Democrats, this is nothing new. These guys are the dirtiest and will stoop to anything to become President for the Rich.

LET'S TALK said...

It's being reported that this might be comeing from a Mitt supporter. See Mitt Supporter

Randal Graves said...

Mary Ellen, I was going to say something devastatingly clever, but Fairlane trumped that. Greatest. Performance Art. Ever. Well played, GOP!

dcup, knowing these guys, probably Marilyn Manson. At least Charlie killed some of those evil Hollywood types.

Mathman, you cannot wake up. Hence, my advice of lots of booze.

Let's Talk, thanks for the kind words and stopping by! What's frustrating is that the Dems never counter the charges. They're so concerned with taking the high road, not ruffling the feathers of decorum. You CAN refute whatever bullshit is tossed at you while simulatenously showing strength and a bit of snark.

Candace said...

Ah, the Swiftboaters are trying to out-Swiftboat themSELVES now!

Let's see... Popcorn? check. Vino? check. Barf bag?

dguzman said...

And the bad thing is that they can only turn the dial UP on this noise--by late summer, we'll be getting questions like, "Did you know that Hillary has personally participated in live human sacrifice? How does this affect your opinion of the bitch?"

I'm starting to think your all-booze, all-the-time approach is really the only way to go.