Thursday, November 29, 2007

Sing, motherfucker, sing!


















Can you spot what's wrong with this album cover? No, aside from the fact that this group is way too chipper in the face of the impending Rapture.

Thanks to the sharp eye and keen detection skills of the lovely and talented Beth, and the superior technological wizardry of the not-lovely-yet-still talented Anthony Cartouche, I bring you the first of many - well, a handful, but many sounds so goddamn impressive, doesn't it? It awakens curiosity. It's nebulous, awe-inspiring, cosmic - um, what? Oh yeah - crazy album covers. But please, save your overzealous clapping and childlike giddiness for something truly groundbreaking. I'm merely following in the footsteps of the good Dr. Monkey and his legendary collection, and wish to humbly contribute to the elegant, refined discourse that one can only read in the blogosphere.

I'm beginning the series with this particular album because it holds a special place in my heart. The tyrannical overlord gentle producer, the Malcolm McLaren of this sonorous troupe is the one and only Rev. Ernest Angley, a staple in my beloved Northeast Ohio for many a year, who can still be seen on his revolutionary televised program, The Ninety and Nine Club, dispensing the good news in the only way the Reverend can. Inspirational is a word that simply does not do it justice. I dare say his sweet words of Jesus-ery warm even the icy heart of this old atheist. Sniff.

Or maybe it's the toupee. Shatner himself weeps before its grandeur.


















But once upon a time, back in the 70s, those heady days of free love, weed, Foghat and bralessness, the right Rev. was quite the chick magnet. Look at that lush head of hair. Look! Someone has truly been blessed by the Lord! Although, if I'm a member of The Musical Five, I'm likely a shade to the left of upset. Where is my fucking picture, Mr. Angley? You heard me, Ernest! We do all the work, write all the fucking songs, then you hire some telegenic fucks (that chick is complete babe, no? The coming of something draweth nigh, I can tell you!) that get all the fucking credit in the eyes of your million-strong audience! Well, I've fucking had it! The NLRB is gonna hear about this, you walking hairpiece!

20 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

So, is that how it works...the rapture ratio of guys to gals is eight to one? Sheesh...I hope the eight guys I get are better looking than those rapture ready guys, otherwise I'm staying back here.

fairlane said...

Too bad that's not the bridge in Minnesota.

La Belette Rouge said...

That woman is really a man? Or is it the "Victor/Victoria" syndrome. Is it a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman?
Only you would compare the king of the "Buffalo gals going round the outside" with Ernest Ainsley. That is quite a formidable toupee.

DCup said...

Old Ern's show comes on after one of the Sunday morning political yap shows. If I don't change the channel fast enough, MathMan makes the same toupee hat joke everytime.

And I laugh.

b said...

God, your commentary is great! I love your sardonic tone...hilarious. That is some album cover and some toupee! I can just imagine what these guys sound like and what the guy with the toupee is mighty lecherous to me. Am I alone in thinking this?!

Scarlet W. Blue said...

I'm confused. That's a woman? But why are they called the Singing Men? I think I missed something.

So, that's a chick magnet in Ohio? At least he has teeth.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I bet those are some swinging sounds.

Distributorcap said...

draweth nigh ---
hawly nigh
all is wull
all is breyet
round yon vergen
muddah and chile

Randal Graves said...

ME, yeah, stay back here with us heathens. We can all get plastered. It'll be fun!

fairlane, with the Bush cabinet on it instead.

LBR, you know, I hadn't thought of that. Those fundies can be quite sneaky!

dcup, so you've seen it? Excellent! Rocky Lowther is The Guitar Hero. How he manages to get the rich, triple-guitar sounds of Skynyrd and Thin Lizzy out of one acoustic is a miracle unto itself.

b, it's not lechery if the women simply adore him. The boy can't help it!

SWB, how do you think I got hitched? Low standards, baby, low standards.

Dr. Monkey, you have no idea. Much more effective than Barry White, let me tell you.

dcap, I want to hire you as entertainment for the holiday party at work.

beth said...

I love that on his website you can lay your hand on the screen and be "h-h-healed."

-beth

Randal Graves said...

And it works, too, believe you me.

Betty C. said...

I can't wait to see your collection of funky album covers. Do you actually OWN these?

Randal Graves said...

Oh no, these are merely borrowed. I simply want to share their obvious joy-like qualities with my fellow bloggers.

FranIAm said...

Being so late to the damned party everyone has already said funny things.

All I know is that I hope the fucking rapture comes already and we can then get on with our lives.

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