Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Okay, where did you guys bury the bodies?

Of satire and irony, that is.

President Bush yesterday offered his strongest support of embattled Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, saying the general "hasn't crossed the line" and "truly is somebody who believes in democracy."
I know, I know. You harbor suspicions that don't exactly jibe with the supposed cognitive dissonance of Mr. Bush. So, in the interest of fairness, which is what we're all about on this blog, let's take a look at the film:
Bush spoke nearly three weeks after Musharraf declared emergency rule, sacked members of the Supreme Court and began a roundup of journalists, lawyers and human rights activists. Musharraf's government yesterday released about 3,000 political prisoners, although 2,000 remain in custody, according to the Interior Ministry.
How does it feel to be so wrong, you commie pinko homosexual potsmoking moonbats? There's no disconnect here whatsoever! Musharraf obviously shares the exact same democratic ideals as our President. And before you get your g-string in a wad - wait, that's not even possible, is it - over this paragraph -
The comments, delivered in an interview with ABC News anchor Charles Gibson, contrasted with previous administration statements -- including by Bush himself -- expressing grave concern over Musharraf's actions. In his first public comments on the crisis two weeks ago, Bush said his aides bluntly warned Musharraf that his emergency measures "would undermine democracy."
- just remember that it's now okay to be As Inconsistent As I Wanna Be. I flip flop, you flip flop, we all flip flop! Just be careful so you don't bump your skull on the pavement or a low ceiling. But, mes amis, let us close out on a happy note, because nothing makes me happier than being happy and sharing that happiness with other happy people. Though resurrecting the decayed and rotted corpses of satire and irony will no doubt take awhile, in the meantime, let us bask in laughter's warm glowing warming glow by reading the verbal wizardry of, ostensibly, one of our own:
"What exactly would it take for the president to conclude Musharraf has crossed the line? Suspend the constitution? Impose emergency law? Beat and jail his political opponents and human rights activists?" asked Joseph R. Biden Jr. (D-Del.), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and a presidential candidate. "He's already done all that. If the president sees Musharraf as a democrat, he must be wearing the same glasses he had on when he looked in Vladimir Putin's soul."
Senator MBNA certainly isn't my first choice to be the 2008 Democratic nominee, but the man loves his snark, and you have to give him that much.

8 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

President Bush yesterday offered his strongest support of embattled Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, saying the general "hasn't crossed the line" and "truly is somebody who believes in democracy."

That is the scariest thing that's come out of Bush's mouth as of yet.

Martial Law, here we come....we are so screwed. Pelosi may have impeachment off the table, but at least for now the table is still set. What happens when Bush clears all the dishes and chops the table into kindling?

Freida Bee said...

I won't be voting for him, but hold some strong appreciations for Biden in all his years and still think this is the funniest moment this presidential debate season.

Answer this SAT multiple choice question :

1.) GEORGE BUSH : DEMOCRACY ::

(A) KKK : positive race relations
(B) for-profit insurers: preventative medicine for all
(C) Laura Bush : feminism
(D) Saddam Hussein: democracy
(E) all of the above

Tom Harper said...

Great line by Biden.

So Musharaf locks up 3,000 political prisoners and then makes a big show of releasing 1,000 of them? What kind of dunce would react with "oh, look, he's freed 1,000 political prisoners"? The dunce we have in the White House of course.

My Inner French Girl said...

Randal,

Not a Biden fan, but Gawd, the man can be so damn poetic sometimes.

Ever read A Mighty Heart, or even Bernard-Henri Levy's Who Killed Daniel Pearl? Levy was a bit heavy-handed with his depiction of Pakistan as the fifth ring of hell, but on the other hand, both books make the very good point that Pakistan is the real enemy, the heart of the global terrorist movement and the place where nightmares are created. And both were written years ago, before Musharraf decided to be all "democratic."

NB: William Dalrymple (the finest travel writer of our time) criticizes Levy's portrayal of Pakistan in an article he wrote for The New York Review of Books. They ended up getting into a heated debate in a letter exchange subsequently published by the NYRB.

I agree with Dalrymple that BHL's factual errors, self-aggrandizement and overblown theories are a bit tiring and lend little credibility to the work, but it doesn't take away from the very real fact that Pakistan is a place where much of modern terrorism is born and from where much of future terrorism will spring.

Salut,
Marjorie

Tom Hilton said...

"What exactly would it take for the president to conclude Musharraf has crossed the line? Suspend the constitution? Impose emergency law? Beat and jail his political opponents and human rights activists?"

I think if he started prosecuting rape victims, that would definitely cross the line. Oh, wait...

dguzman said...

Randal, I think we need to start taking bets on when W will impose martial law. I'll take Jan 1, 2008. Already hoarding nonperishable food, potable water, and a full bar. You?

Grace Nearing said...

"What exactly would it take for the president to conclude Musharraf has crossed the line? Suspend the constitution? Impose emergency law? Beat and jail his political opponents and human rights activists?" asked Joseph R. Biden Jr. (D-Del.), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and a presidential candidate. "He's already done all that.

Not being snarky here. The first time I read that, I thought the he Biden was referring to was Bush -- and that misreading made perfect sense to me.

FranIAm said...

Oh Randal Graves, you and your endless nitpicking for some kind of (cough,cough), what would you call it... some kind of truth or maybe consistency.

I mean come on man- this is world politics. GWB don't got no motherf*cking time for that shite!

This is, as dguzman assured me it would be, an excellent post.

We are so fecking screwed.

And you have to give it to Biden, he is funny as hell. But that is about it.