X-rated entertainment

"Hey, Scully, check this out."
"That's not your usual fare, Mulder."
"True, but can you believe how bad this site is?"
"I can see that, Mulder. And what's with that stupid monocle?"

I am an X-Files fanboy (and given that the movie took in a paltry $10 million over the weekend, there must be less of us still around than I had assumed. I wanted to believe. Oh well, go see Batman for the 38th time, you superhero fuckers. Give me a shadowy conspiracy any day.) I thought that such a public admission was necessary so you can take whatever I say, good or bad, with however many heaping bowls of salt you feel is required.

Shorter plot: the present day. An FBI agent is missing. A defrocked priest (an excellent Billy Connolly) claiming psychic powers is helping them. They're stuck. Who ya gonna call?

Strictly considering the plot, it's decent, if not terribly creepy à la The Host or Irresistible, thriller fare, with the strongest nod to both Beyond the Sea, for Father Joe's connection to the realm of the dead -- on both sides of the divide -- and All Souls, for the religious/protector component that surrounds Scully, not merely for her role on this missing persons case, but her real life as a practicing doctor. Mention is made by Agent Dakota Whitney (Amanda Peet), in between her googly eyes towards Mulder, of such characters as Clyde Bruckman and Gerald Schnauz (hey Carter, thanks for the shout-outs to us geeks), though to be technical, Father Joe sees more than simply how someone is going to meet the scythe-wielding dude.

My biggest problem with l'intrigue is when you utilize someone (Alex Diakun) so well known to X-Philes as a first-class oddball with a master's degree in unsettling, well, you'll see. Actually, you won't. Did you forget about Millennium's Dr. Ephraim Fabricant? Xzibit's Agent Drummy is serviceable as the new skeptic in a Kersh/old school Skinner sort of way, but both he and Peet are there merely as window dressing, nothing more. The stars of the show, literally and emotionally, are David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Their dialogue and relationship six years after The Truth are eminently believable and nearly exactly how I pictured them to be living. The snarky Mulderisms remain (as do the sunflower seeds), and Scully herself has ratcheted up her verbal edge while maintaining her inner strength.

As a thriller, it's solid, but won't knock your socks off like the most classic episodes of the show. Though there are some suitably gruesome moments, which were nice to see and the wintry locales definitely fit the detached mood of the piece -- Scully and Mulder from their past (or at least trying -- and failing -- to be in certain instances), at times from each other, the remote, obscured air of these crimes -- and while I'm beyond, er, thrilled that there is a well-done, emotional nod to an important part of the most recently televised past, there is nary a mention of any super soldiers! Woo! But the further development and exploration of the characters of Mulder and Scully is where the film knocks it out of the park. There's nothing gratuitous, nothing forced in for the sake of pleasing us whiny, loudmouthed dorks, or even Chris Carter himself. It flat out works. Beautifully.

The American public may still not believe, but I do.