Saturday, October 24, 2009

Flash is dead, long live Flash!

"Chica chica blog chic!"

Told you bastards this place is good for you.
Just look at all that fresh fruit.

The strange man dressed as Carmen Miranda walked into the bar and demanded to know who had taken his pet iguana.

"I wanted some barbecue," said the strange woman dressed as Stan Ridgway in between bites of something slathered in red.

Feeling a hot wind on his shoulder, the strange man dressed as Carmen Miranda lurched forward like an old gunslinger, mumbling.

Staring at hairy knuckles on the table, the strange woman dressed as Stan Ridgway nonchalantly swallowed. "I can't understand what you just said."

The strange man dressed as Carmen Miranda pulled out a derringer hidden beneath his garter and fired. "Good thing this isn't a Mexican radio soap."

The strange woman dressed as Stan Ridgway slumped in her chair, dead.

The strange man dressed as Carmen Miranda took the plate of unfinished barbecued iguana and buried it at the side of the road, signing the cross under the light of the Tijuana moon.


sunshine said...

I'd do the same thing if someone hurt one of my pets.

A wonderfully weird story Randal. It was funny. ;)


Dusty said...

Love it!

Sherry Peyton said...

Oh drat, and I was all ready with pithy comments about Flash Gordon. Sigh....I had a secret crush on Ming the Merciless you know. He wrote me often from his home world. Please don't let that get around. I don't want to be inundated by the press.

TomCat said...

Quite strange, Randal, but interesting.

Holte Ender said...

The strange man dressed as Carmen Miranda walk into the bar and demanded to know who had taken his pet iguana.

"The real Carmen Miranda," he said quietly his words dripping with menace, "had 25 hits from 1939 to 1945, and unless Iggy is returned to me, I shall sing them all."

Not wanting to put his new friends through the torture he had been living with for years, Iggy turned himself in.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

The little kid from Fox Trot just fainted.

I hope you are happy.



Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

The little kid from Fox Trot just fainted.

I hope you are happy.



Übermilf said...

This is the plot to the "Wall of Voodoo" video from the 80's. I know very well who Stan Ridgway is.

I want my money back.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, if I was giving an acceptance speech, I'd have to thank Beach and Wall of Voodoo.

dusty, thanks!

sherry, it was the moustache, wasn't it.

tomcat, strange was certainly the goal.

holte, so that's what Iggy did before The Stooges.

tengrain, I'm happy, twice!

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, I certainly don't remember any gunplay or midnight burials. My version is better.

Demeur said...

But did she get fries with that order of iguana?

susan said...

Congratulations. You just succeeded in reminding me of one of the worst movies I ever saw: 'At Midnight I Will Take Your Soul' by Coffin Joe.

I'd post a link but I'm sure they're among your favorites already.

Mary Ellen said...

I sure would like to know who your supplier is because the stuff I smoke never fills my head with that kind of stuff.

Why is it only the good that die young? Poor Iguana.

Beach Bum said...

Still working on my flash story which has the strange man dressed as Carmen Miranda and his pet iguana tossing some college dropout, oxycontin addicted, conservative asshole off the side of a boat in shark infested waters.

Yours was great!

Randal Graves said...

demeur, onion rings, I think.

susan, those are so bad, they're great!

nunly, you should try smoking iguana.

BB, why do you hate sharks so much? Now they're going to die from cholesterol.

Cormac Brown said...

Radio, Radio

Francis Ford says, "don't fence me in" and "this is brilliant." I concur.

Cormac Brown said...

BTW, I used iguana-sit when my son's godparents went out of town. They are wonderful pets except for their sharp ass nails and occasional tail-whippings.

Tom Harper said...

The strange man disguised as a blogger scratched his head, trying to think of a comment...

La Belette Rouge said...

Wall of Voodoo! I knew at some point you had to listen to good music.;-)Are you taking requests? Next will you do a story based on a Morrissey song?

Dr. Zaius said...

Mexican radio soap is good for making bubble baths. Good clean fun, with nachos!

MRMacrum said...

I Just took a gander at Stan Ridgway. If I saw a woman dressed like him, I'd probably shoot her just for general principles. Nevermind eating my Iguana. Randal, odd story but it definitely made me chuckle. Good Job.

Hill said...

Was going to say something witty, then read MRMacrum's comment and started lol'ing....


Randal Graves said...

cormac, it's a good thing no one asked you to Komodo dragon-sit.

tom, disguised? You're working for the commie-Nazis, I knew it!

LBR, but I don't know any Morrissey songs. ;-)

dr.zaius, that was cheesy.

mrmacrum, now I'm tempted to throw the video of this song up here.

hill, he's an angry young man.

Mauigirl said...

I didn't see that coming at the end. Very good. I agree with Sunshine, BTW!

susan said...

Hah, I knew it. Remember the scene when he shocked the neighbors by eating a big chunk of meat on Friday? Killer stuff.

Doc said...

I think every FFF should have at least one death. Thank you for rewarding my expectations, as nothing plays better than a good old fashioned revenge tale.

Long live the iguana!


Alan Griffiths said...

Weird but very good stuff Randal - made me smile.