Thursday, October 22, 2009

Shut your piehole

More pampered rock stars whining about something they couldn't possibly ever never in a million years understand, but even though I share Kent Brockman's cogent view of democracy, because I'm such a nice guy, I'm willing to give these yokels the floor.

"I think every musician should be involved," said Rosanne Cash in a telephone interview Wednesday. "It seems so obvious. Music should never be used as torture."
Bullshit. Why do you think I toss up Belial's favorite tunes? For childish kicks? Because I enjoy it? I don't hear anyone (besides Übermilf) clamoring for them. Do you?
"The fact that music I helped create was used in crimes against humanity sickens me," Morello said in a statement.
I'm with you there, Tom. Hearing Audioslave was a crime against humanity.
"Sound at a certain level creates sensory overload and breaks down subjectivity and can [bring about] a regression to infantile behavior," said Suzanne G. Cusick, a music professor at New York University who has studied, lectured about and written extensively on the use of music as torture in the current wars. "Its effectiveness depends on the constancy of the sound, not the qualities of the music."
If it's too loud, you're too old. Now go away. Go go go! Now now now!

National security!


Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Why not some nice, Up with People. Now that's torture!



Dr. Zaius said...

Morello has obviously never been in an American elevator.

Holte Ender said...

If you play Antaeus to me for more than 2 minutes I will tell you anything. It was too loud, I'm leaving, now.

Mary Ellen said...

Personally, I think the Barney Song would be more effective. Better yet, they should be forced to watch it. I know that show screwed up a lot of kids...who are about your age now, no? ;-)

MRMacrum said...

As long as they did not use the National Anthem as sung by Roseanne, I guess I am okay with it.

But I feel a need to call you on the snarky remark about "pampered rock stars". "Indulged" might be better. Using the word pampered might lead one to think of them as babies wearin diapers of the disposable kind and whinin and cryin...........oh wait. Nevermind.

Übermilf said...

I often clamor for your head on a platter, and I don't see that happening any time soon.

As for musical torture, my sisters and I used to torture my brother with Bette Midler's "The Rose." I hope the statute of limitations has expired and I will not be held in violation of the Geneva Convention.

Also, I already tortured you with "Up With People." Shall I find it again?

sunshine said...

Oh gawd. That first picture looks too much like what was going on in my kitchen this morning.
Thanks. Now I've got a headache just remembering.

I'm betting if we sent my kids down there for a day or two, the prisoners would talk. :)
I know I try to confess to crimes I never even committed ... just to get out of here!



Randal Graves said...

tengrain, I want to torture people, not kill them.

dr.zaius, but that's not torture, that's only corporate subliminals ordering us to buy more.

holte, so you actually got to the soul-crushing part at just after two minutes? Then my plan worked, muahahahaha, etc.

nunly, when we first got a register here years ago to collect fines and monies from the book sale, they made up a bag for each day of the week and we called them (and still do) Barney Bags. ;-)

mrmacrum, I think that would violate Geneva.

Run, I think Vitter's coming!

übermilf, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find you get the blog you need.

Please, find it again, for I am up to a musical battle to the death.

sunshine, hey, you've got kids, you should have built up a fine tolerance to torture.

Is there a Canuck equivalent to Beck or Rush? Make your kids watch them, I'm sure the state will take them away and then you'll be free!

Übermilf said...

Musical battle it is, then.

Randal Graves said...

Welcome to Kitchen Stadium! Today's ingredient!

Übermilf said...

I'll admit I sustained some damage from that salvo, but I'm not dead yet

Mary Ellen said...

OMG-Milli Vanilli. Puke. Projectile puke.

Liberality said...

Black Sabbath

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, that's so bad, I've never even heard of it. This one is a bit more mainstream, but disgusting.

nunly, I figured that would be a real crowd pleaser.

liberality, hey, post songs that induce vomiting, not joy!

Übermilf said...

It's conventional warfare you're looking for, then?

Randal Graves said...

I don't know, I'm really looking for a serious body count.

Tom Harper said...

I've had just about enough of your unpatriotic America-hating claptrap. Them folks at Gitmo are turrists!

You should be tied to a chair and forced to listen to Debbie Boone singing "You Light Up My Life" for 24 hours at a time. That'll learn ya.

Übermilf said...

That was just a flesh wound

TomCat said...

When I was young, elders hated my music. Now I am old, and I can't stand a lot of what's popular today.

Randal Graves said...

tom, you vile bastard.

übermilf, how about some dismemberment?

tomcat, I usually don't put up popular stuff, so I know you loved today's entry.

Demeur said...

Retailers here are using opera to keep the gangs at bay. Seems to be working too.

Too loud your too old? Soon you'll have to crank it up to jet air craft level to hear it only you won't, you'll feel it. That's why grandpa had Laurence Welk cranked high enough for the neighbors to hear and don't let him get hold of your porno videos.
Now where's my viagra? Oh hell I forgot what I needed it for anyway.

Tengrain said...

You both have forced me to go nuck-u-lar.

So bad the singer died shortly after releasing it, and it became a mouthwash jingle.



susan said...

You'll never believe this but I've heard that the substance that makes up the largest percentage of our bodies can be used for torture. Music places a distant second to that one.

S.W. Anderson said...

I don't blame entertainers for not wanting their music used as instruments of torture. First, it makes a negative statement about what their music is like. Second, it's repugnant on humanitarian grounds.

Then again, when I think how effective rap or polka music would be on me (and not necessarily in that order), I have to admit music could be darned effective as a torture medium.

However, just to show you how behind the curve our CIA or contract villains were/are, neither rap nor polkas can hold a candle to Nutri System commercials, delivered at bone-emulsifying volume, the way DirecTV does it.

The ne plus ultra of this torture is pro loudmouth Howard Berman, who doesn't speak or shout, but hurls, as if he's trying to bring his sigmoid colon up and out on his chin, "REAL FOOD FOR REAL GUYS."

The way Berman delivers that line, you'd think he was getting his prostate checked by Lou Ferrigno.

Tie Berman to a chair in a large shower room and pipe in 24 nonstop hours of polka music at 280 decibels, then replace what's left of him with the lowlife ad producer behind those Nutri System commercials, for his turn.

Thanks, that was cathartic.

Übermilf said...

I didn't want to do this, but you left me no alternative ...

Beach Bum said...

I agree with Tom Harper, the lowest level of Hell has be some evil entity singing "You light up my Life" for eternity and being forced to listen.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

You think that scares me? I listen to that crap when I'm brushing my teeth and thinking about kitties and puppies. You want pain?

You got it.

S.W. Anderson said...

OK, since I'm in the company of masochists — or sadists, take your pick — time to give something back. (Brace yourself)

Randal Graves said...

demeur, aren't they afraid the gangs will start adapting and belt on Bellini while on a drive-by?

tengrain, you sick bastard.

susan, oh come on, that's so twentieth century.

SWA, I think you actually just scared me a little.

BB, imagine how frightening The Inferno would be if Dante had lived now.

Alright übermilf and tengrain and SWA, you asked for it.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Let me know when your mamma says you can play with the big boys.



Randal Graves said...

It's frightening just how well versed in pure crap you are.

Übermilf said...

Are we still doing this? Because I've got more.

Übermilf said...

Remember, I used to do a feature called "Bad Music Thursday" on my blog.

I've only begun to scratch the surface.

Übermilf said...

I mean, I'm not even done with Mariah Carey alone.

Randal Graves said...

That's it, I'm not enabling your sick habit any longer. Please seek help immediately before your Eustachian tube dribbles out your ear.

Übermilf said...

I think the words you're looking for are "I surrender."

I accept.

Randal Graves said...

I just don't want to listen to any more vomit-inducing "music" and since I'm as well-trained as Pavlov's pooch, you know I'd have to click on it.