Monday, October 26, 2009

Gag reflex

Do they make me barf? No, for that would be a grave disservice to the often useful practice of barfing. The Browns are so bad, they make me

Now if you'll excuse me, I just remembered the second half.

Where's that fake toilet?


MRMacrum said...

Look on the bright side. They didn't get blanked. They held Green Bay to only 31 points, only 10 in the second half. And they held Grant to only 148 yards rushing. I think I see some improvement.

Christopher said...

I remember fake Barf! LOL!

Do they still make it? Probably not because some hysterical woman said her widdle Kaylin or Chase has an allergy to Latex and threatened to sue if it isn't pulled from the toy shelf.

Back in high school, some smart ass kid in freshman Spanish brought one of them to class and put tap water on it so it looked totally like lunch and sat it on our teacher's seat.

Needless to say he wasn't too pleased but the student loved his reaction. Ole!

sunshine said...

Fake barf is my kind of barf!
Gawd, I hate cleaning up real barf. You've got kids.. you know it doesn't always go in the toilet. :)

Yeah, give me fake barf and fake toilets anyday...

Sounds like the Brown's are pretty bad... ;P


Dr. Zaius said...

Fake barf is certainly a step up for you, blogwise. ;o)

okjimm said...

Gees.... were we watching the same game? I rather enjoyed it.

Mary Ellen said...

You have no reason to fake barf... this weekend Chicago fans have reason to barf, and I'm talkin' about the real thing. I don't know why the hell they even came onto the field, they should have just handed the Bengals the ball and walked off the field. Game over.

Cormac Brown said...

Hey, the worst of it is that they refuse to play Brady Quinn because they don't want to pay him, even though he could be a conceivable upgrade.

Übermilf said...

This blog is insensitive to people who fake bulimia with plastic vomit.

I am organizing a class action law suit as we speak.

Also, you hurt the Brown's feelings and they are suing you, too.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Wait a minute! Cleveland has a football team? I thought it had the Browns.



themom said...

Some great comments on the Dog Pound. Being the Steeler fan that I am...I'm not crying too much over the loss. Hell, I still call the Ravens, the Baltimore Browns!

Holte Ender said...

Things could be far worse, you could be a Kansas City Chiefs fan, fake barf doesn't cut it with them, it's the real thing, or nothing.

S.W. Anderson said...

It's not so bad if a team loses after trying hard and not making a string of dumb mistakes. Some team has to lose. If they gave it their best and were simply outplayed, you probably had an exciting game to watch.

The way it seems to work, if you want to root for a winning home team, move to where the really big money is.

Tom Harper said...

A fake toilet -- I gotta get me one of those. It would make a great trick to play on guests. (Real guests, not fake ones.)

Demeur said...

A seven-year-old Cleveland , Ohio boy was at the centre of a Cleveland city courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents & the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law & regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents & he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy alleged they had also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family & learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references & confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Cleveland Browns, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone. :P

susan said...

I remember a very cool and very very old high school Latin teacher who just said, 'Pick that up' and continued walking down the aisle doing her irregular verb conjugation drills.

Demeur, good story :-)

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Beach Bum said...

The best fake barf is still Campbell's cream of mushroom soup.

Randal Graves said...

mrmacrum, like you, I am an optimist. I can't wait until we contend for the Super Bowl in 2196.

christopher, HA! Nowadays, such a stunt will probably get you suspended, fake vomit being a dangerous weapon.

sunshine, the Browns are the equivalent of a child's missed barf shot. ;-)

dr.zaius, I figured it was time to start being classy. ;-)

okjimm, go to hell, sir.

nunly, I understand that the Bengals might be legit (see what a healthy, NFL-calibre QB can do?) but man, talk about laying the proverbial egg. You watch them is each week, is Matt Forte THAT bad, or is their o-line THAT fake barfy?

cormac, but that's only going to last one more game, then it's Showcase Showdown!

übermilf, well, a few more I can check off my list. Who should I next be insensitive to?

tengrain, I can't even waste time rooting for the Arena league team since that damn thing folded.

themom, don't get me started on The Fucking Ravens.

holte, but at least you have the always entertaining Larry Johnson. That foot in mouth must be why he's averaging less than three yards a pop.

SWA, explain Tampa Bay. Hell, St. Louis stole a team and won a bowl with ET at QB. Fucking NFL, grumble, etc.

tom, that's not a bad idea. Now if I can only find a way to convert my bills to fake ones.

demeur, now that's a zing! ;-)

susan, I wonder what's Latin for 'fake barf.'

anon, hard work really does pay off! Buy Viagra!

BB, tasty, but yes, it doesn't look all that appealing.

Holte Ender said...

The Latin for 'fake barf' is Non Versus Vomit

Mary Ellen said...

You watch them is each week, is Matt Forte THAT bad, or is their o-line THAT fake barfy?