Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Please excuse all the blood

Now that's Halloweenie.

That, not so much. Mel Gibson, you lied to me.

You should hear my smooth baritone croon (How much is) that savior in the window? Before you ask, and I know you will, yes, that is a real photo of a real Scandinavian seppuku, though to be truly Samhainesque, his ghost would have to haunt the mean streets of Oslo and since ghosts don't exist, too bad for this post but pretend that they do, ooky spooky.


Übermilf said...

There's no such thing as a Scandinavian seppuku, because seppuku is Japanese.

Therefore, your other statements must be similarly false, meaning ghosts ARE TOO real, which I already knew from watching the Discovery Channel.

So there.

Christopher said...

The Cleveland Catholic Diocese must be trying to raise money to either fund:

1. a pay-off for a pedophile priest scandal

2. fund an antigay marriage equality effort like the one currently underway in Maine

Nothing motivates organized religion like hatred and secrets.

sunshine said...

Since it's almost Halloween (whee!) I will excuse the blood.
You're right! This time of year is about gore and ghosts and bad stuff! Not the 3 year olds dressed up like Elmo. (although they ARE very cute too).

Is Jesus only worth a cool mil? Hmmm.. perhaps I should buy him. He'd look awesome above my fireplace.
(I'm going to hell for sure now, aren't I?)


Randal Graves said...

übermilf, hey, if you want to take your cues from American teevee, be my guest. Domo arigato, Mr. Ibsen.

christopher, too bad it's not a public auction, I was looking for a nice conversation piece.

sunshine, blood, gore, preach it, sister, amen!

That dude is pretty tall, are you sure he'd fit?

sunshine said...

I could always cut his legs off I suppose.... I mean, he's dead. Right?

"Hail Mary full of grace,
The Lord is with thee..
Blessed art thou amoung women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy
womb, Jesus....etc"

Think I'm okay now???

Tengrain said...

Dedicated to Graves, that swine!

To Randall Graves, the Contrarian
Your mother's bevahior
Gave great pain to Our Savior
And that is why he made you a librarian



Holte Ender said...

I have been looking for a few, extremely large stained glass windows, the one of Christ Blessing The Sick will do nicely. Thanks for the tip.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, since I don't believe in sky fairies, you're asking the wrong dude. I say go for the saw.

tengrain, now that's a compliment!

holte, just tell 'em you're from a church. It's in Canada, so they've never heard of it.

Tom Harper said...

Well, now I've seen my first genuine Scandinavian seppuku. Another item I can take off the bucket list.

MRMacrum said...

My wife won't allow me to bring home any more stuff. But I still nose around for the bargains when I get a chance. Dude, did you see that 12' crucifix for sale? $4500 - What a freakin steal. You should jump all over that. Imagine the shrine envy you will create in the hood when you set that beauty up in the yard. Just don't set it on fire.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, I'll bet there are retired teachers and classmates somewhere who still talk about your science fair project in aghast, hushed tones. Not to mention the school district psychologist and local D.A.

As Halloween approaches please remember, it's supposed to be about costumes and candy, not inducing heart failure in the unsuspecting young.

Liberality said...

Reading the comments here is just as entertaining as reading your post :)

Beach Bum said...

That, not so much. Mel Gibson, you lied to me.

I don't know, when I was a kid I got locked in the church my grandparents attended by accident one time and it was really spooky.

I was alone and while walking around the place I kept expecting something to jump out from no where.

Randal Graves said...

tom, glad I could help you experience life to the fullest.

mrmacrum, that's a brilliant idea. Then I can charge for worship. A buck a prayer, I'll be rich in no time!

SWA, I don't think I ever did anything for the science fair. I do recall that Lego guillotine for English class the one year. That was cool, the little Lego heads in a radar dish, red magic marker for blood. And that sucker worked, too!

liberality, I figure the posts are simply the conduit to get people to wax psycho on stuff.

BB, some of those old school churches definitely have a Halloweenie atmosphere about them. Hell with inviting light, I want stained glass, shadows and gothic architecture.

Dr. Zaius said...

You don't believe in ghosts? What about Casper the Friendly Ghost? Or Newt Gingritch?

Randal Graves said...

Newt Gingrich is a ghost? I thought he was some sort of reptile.

Dr. Zaius said...

But of course he is a ghost! He is back from the dead, is he not? ;o)