Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Tuesdays of Terror!














Once upon a Tuesday dreary, while I slackened, slumped and lazy,
Over many a bland and ever-growing mound of forgotten work --
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping like a fucking jerk.
"'Tis some coworker" I muttered, "rapping like a fucking jerk --
Only this, gosh, what a berk."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak October,
Hanging up the Sandman gift from her, the Sandman, do not scoff!
Eagerly I wished retraction;-- once I had sought condemnation
For missed prestidigitation -- sorrow for the lost Day Off --
For the rare and radiant Sunday whom the angels name Day Off --
What else rhymes? Hack, wheeze and cough.

[a bunch of stanzas I'm not Weird Al enough to successfully parody
so just enjoy the big finish, thanks]

And the Sandman, never falling, still is hanging, still is hanging
From the dusty desk of yours truly above tasks that do bore.
And his eyes have all the seeming of a writer's that is scheming --
Dammit, almost knocked my coffee streaming caffeine on the floor;
Yet my soul from out this shadow some call work, I, darkest chore,
Shall be lifted -- nevermore!

26 comments:

susan said...

That's the way I feel come Mondays,
Trudging to that place abhorred,
Emails pour like putrid sundaes,
Ringing phones cut to my core.

Where's the freedom?
What's the purpose?
Why do I keep going there?

An answer looms out of the darkness,
Of my fevered weeknight dream.
If I stayed abed and slumbered
I'd bound to wake to a landlord's scream.

Mary Ellen said...

Gosh, if I had a nickel for every time I've said the EXACT same thing....

I just love your twisted brain. It brings great comfort to me for some reason. ;-)

Mary Ellen said...

Susan- Very cool!

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Please don't mock us with Nevermore unless you mean it.

On a related note, I saw Logan's Run recently, and the Sandman uniforms were way cool. I need one of those blaster thingies that they had.

Regards,

Tengrain

Holte Ender said...

Very musical, I found myself humming as I read it.

Übermilf said...

I never lie.

Please note Michael McDonald, another agent of Satan, also appeared.

sunshine said...

Since Tuesday is your Monday.. I'm going to say I understand. Except I don't because I KNOW I'm missing something here.... :P

((Hugs))
Laura

Liberality said...

Yet my soul from out this shadow some call work, I, darkest chore,
Shall be lifted -- nevermore!


amen to that brother!

Demeur said...

Consider the alternative sitting at computer desk looking for a task. Some simple chore for crumb of bread or flask of wine. But no. No search engine quiry or phone call response, only voice mail hell and no job found. Lest I lose my mind just put another brick in the wall. To die the cruel death of unemployment slowly they drip money into your account. Not enough to live but not enough to die. So just seal me up and get it over with already.

TomCat said...

Very cool, Randal. I'm just surprised it wasn't an 'Oh God It's Monday' poem.

Randal Graves said...

susan, I'd bound to wake to a landlord's scream. Murdering by sleepwalking again, are you?

nunly, isn't that grounds for burning in hell? ;-)

tengrain, when I don't post for a month, then you'll know I'd been killed by a runaway truck or a meteor.

holte, I just wish I had copyrighted the thing. That blasted Poe changed some of the words and now he's famous.

übermilf, my entire world is coming down around me. What's next, a successful Vanilla Ice comeback?

sunshine, a coworker snagged me Neil Gaiman's autograph. Other than that, it's an I-hate-work post. ;-)

liberality, working's for chumps!

demeur, depends on the job. Would you want to clean out the cage at The Undisclosed Location?

tomcat, Tuesday is my Monday, so the spirit remains the same.

Mary Ellen said...

nunly, isn't that grounds for burning in hell? ;-)

What? The fact that I find comfort in your twisted brain? I think twisted brain lurking is ok as long as I do it while you're wearing pants. I may be wrong, I'll check with the Pope on that.

But hey...if you want to take off your pants, I won't stop you. ;-)

Ok, that last thing might bring me a little closer to the burning hell-fire thing. Sorry.

Beach Bum said...

Since I started third shift at the hospital Sunday night I have to echo what Liberality said: "amen brother".

MRMacrum said...

It must not that bad if you can come up with a classy rhyme like that. I do sympathisize. Tuesday is the bginning of my work week also. I love Monday, but Tuesday tends to suck.

ThoughtCriminal said...

I just had one of those Tuesdays that make me wish I had Dilbert's job.

S.W. Anderson said...

"[a bunch of stanzas I'm not Weird Al enough to successfully parody
so just enjoy the big finish, thanks]"


Best laugh of the day.

Susan, your rhyme's terrific. Demeur, you got off a good one also.

Out of kudos, I'll be on my way.

Tom Harper said...

"Sorrow for the lost day off" -- ah, the human condition.

Randal Graves said...

nunly, don't be sorry, I've been trying to get you to see the upside to hell for years!

BB, dude, third shift is the worst of all shifts. I almost typed shits, which is probably appropriate.

mrmacrum, if you share my schedule, you too know the joys of Mondays. Great time to get the unfortunately necessary store runs done.

TC, Dilbert never gets to set anyone on fire, though. Downside to everything.

SWA, where's your rhyme, dammit. Rhymes from everyone, don't be stingy.

tom, you think we have it bad, imagine being Cheney on his day off if he's out of third world children to munch on.

Dr. Zaius said...

"burke". It's spelled "burke".

I love the comic book Sandman! His sister is kind of cool, too.

S.W. Anderson said...

I'm really not a poet.
And what's more, I know it.

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