Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wednesdays of Woe!

It ain't easy being -- "green?" -- no, dumbass,
a serial killer. Guts, gore and grass,
no detergent can erase all these stains.
"That sounds like a cry for --" your fucking brains
will splatter red if you finish that line.
Right, time to sharpen this, an edge so fine
for slashing, spilling intestinal tract.
Try, hide; epic fail and that's a fact.
Shh! Listen! Mumbling psychoses, my friends,
demand that hands, feet, sweet meats, tips and ends
become the mmm yummy in marrow soup --
but guzzle 'fore that creepy skin of goop
droops stringy off your spoon. "Rambling bullshit
is your trade, our own Braggadocchio --"
Great, now the rhyme is broken. "Socio-
economic state, too, yours, wasn't it?"
Don't change the subject! I'm a bad mofo.
"Who only wants love." I've scary mojo
something fierce. "But you'd rather be tame as
a tabby." Bah! Try this satanic jazz:
Michael? Amateur eliminator!
I'm the real prestidigitator.
Freddy? Just one more low rent gardener!
Moi? High class artiste, penthouse murderer.
"Yet, a basement full of bodies in rot --"
sigh, cannibal stew is all that I've got
to show for seasons of prowling alone --
"don't forget, silent mounds of human bone."
Sniff. Enough of this Halloween disguise.
Guess I'll watch the game, melonball some eyes.


Übermilf said...

Is Satanic jazz like the stuff from Al Jarreau that I hear in the dentist's office?

MRMacrum said...

"become the mmm yummy in marrow soup --
but guzzle 'fore that creepy skin of goop
droops stringy off your spoon."

What great pair of.........lines.

Okay, so it wasn't a pair. I read it that way anyway.

sunshine said...

Wow! Gruesome!!!
Awesome!!! ;P
Laura loves it!


(off to melonball some eyes *gulp*)

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, yes, but don't equate it with the mephistophelian jazz of Kenny G.

mrmacrum, thanks, but are you saying that I should have included more boobies?

sunshine, it helped to concentrate on something truly gruesome, the Cavs post-first quarter performance.

Eyeballs, yum!

MRMacrum said...

Randal, you have been around the block. Ya gotta know that gratutitous use of female body parts go with any post. Come on Man, get with it.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

The poem you stole,
It was mine.
Don't ask me what doth this means
Or I'll have you for dinner
With Chianti and beans.



Randal Graves said...

mrmacrum, but that's being a pig, and I'm not a pig. Next thing you know, you'll suggest that I should run for Congress, win, sit on a committee and then call a lobbyist whore a whore.

tengrain, you, doctor, I would never fleece
and even if I would, I've got Clarice.

Liberality said...

eyes! gross!

Mauigirl said...

Excellent Halloween poetry! Also? Gruesome. That stringy line really got to me! Eeeww.

Beach Bum said...

I can't wait to read your poems for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Tom Harper said...

Nice Halloween poem. Like Beach Bum said, can't wait to see your Thanksgiving and Christmas poems.

Demeur said...

Graves you silly swine don't you know brains are gray.
Now to the question of eyeballs, are they red or white meat and what wine to serve?

sunshine said...

Need a light?
Muwhahahahahahahah.... ;P


susan said...

Cannibal stew is all you've got? I'm sending the neighbor kids to your place for their Hallowe'en treats.

S.W. Anderson said...

I'm imagining a sort of update for Scared Straight. A punk sits at a small, grubby table beneath a bare bulb in a dingy room that smells of smoke and sweat. A cop comes in, sits in front of the punk . . . and reads your poem.

The kid freaks out, admitting to several bank robberies, two ATM haul-away capers, inside knowledge of what really happened to Jimmy Hoffa, the locations of every crack house and meth lab in town, and holding a part-time job in a chop shop specializing in Frankenstein Hondas marketed to the youthful Asian community.

And it's all because of your ghoulish, poetic brilliance, Randal. Well done. Carry on (or carrion, whichever you prefer).

Cormac Brown said...

Remind me to never come over to your house for "oxtail stew."

Randal Graves said...

liberality, grapes, eyes, you can't tell the difference.

mauigirl, that's why it's always best to keep your cannibal stew on a low simmer.

BB and tom, I'm sure I can conjure something up about rabid turkeys and evil Santas.

demeur, I plan on spilling a lot of blood, so you really won't see the grey.

sunshine, don't make me make you listen to all of today's musical selection.

susan, it's protein, much better for them than Kit Kats and Clark bars.

SWA, I suppose having to deal with lunatic serial killers might be a bit more frightening than the typical felon.

cormac, but I added a special ingredient just for you.

Cormac Brown said...

"but I added a special ingredient just for you."

On second thought, if you throw Eric Mangini and the so-called owners of The Browns, I'll reconsider.

Randal Graves said...

Those rancid bastards? I'd only do that to my worst enemy.

Dr. Zaius said...

Why are you giving Freddy a hard time? Stripes are in this year. ;o)