I drink alone, with nobody else.

Wanna join me?

Why mess with a good thing? Figuring I might as well maintain the theme of drunkenness and sobriety - although after reading this, you might want to reach for the nearest bottle of something to help you induce even more vomiting - I present you with a veritable smorgasbord of bad news. The Cleveland Plain Dealer recently commissioned a poll in my not-so-great state on the 2008 election, the economy, Iraq, the standard fare. So step on up to the buffet and sample some of the choicest cuts.

















"Mmm....polling...."

The results merely offer further proof that I’m not insane - shut up - when I say I don’t like the Democrats chances next fall. And this is a state that swept the likes of the Evil Ken Doll - "Sure Whitey, I'll gladly help sell out my own race for some of those juicy cracker bucks!" - and other assorted vermin out last year while still approving of our Democratic governor. For example:

Do you approve or disapprove of the way George W. Bush is handling his job as president?
40% approve, 54% disapprove.

Do you approve or disapprove of President Bush’s handling of the situation in Iraq?
36% approve, 62% disapprove.

A little bit less vitriol than the national average, but that’s to be expected in this state where a majority outside the major metropolitan areas tends to embrace wingnuttery. However, the following questions and answers show what a hard-to-kill behemoth cognitive dissonance truly is:

Which of the following positions comes closer to your view on Iraq?
We need to leave Iraq as quickly as possible and let the chips fall where they may, 32%
We need to maintain a military presence in Iraq until there is a stable political situation, 60%

Granted, like most questions in nearly every poll, these are poorly worded, and offer the usual black vs. white, Manichean worldview held by simpletons and Republicans - wait, I repeat myself - but there it is. And to show what a tolerant, forward-thinking people we are in the Buckeye state, there‘s this. All standard disclaimers apply:

Which one of the following comes closer to your view on the issue of immigration?
The U.S. should welcome immigrants no matter how they got there and offer them a way to become citizens, 14%
The U.S. needs to strictly control who enters the country and deport people who come here illegally, 81%

Try these choice issues where Democrats have traditionally been stronger. They're very tasty. ‘Not sure’ answers were omitted:

Which of the two major parties do you trust more to handle the following issues?
Social Security, Medicare - Democrats 41%, Republicans 36%
Health care - Democrats 45%, Republicans 38%
Improving the economy - Democrats 43%, Republicans 39%
Education - Democrats 45%, Republicans 39%

Notice anything odd?

And now for some areas where Republicans have, as the Beltway-approved CW goes, been the stronger party since before Saint Ronnie defeated communism all by himself. Unarmed. With one hand tied behind his back. Blindfolded. Let’s see how successful the Democrats have been at breaking that narrative of flaming dog shit:

Immigration - Democrats 35%, Republicans 40%
Federal Spending - Democrats 42%, Republicans 38%
Taxes - Democrats 40%, Republicans 42%
War in Iraq - Democrats 41%, Republicans 43%
Preventing terrorism - Democrats 30%, Republicans 50%

Oops.

And now, in lieu of completely drowning you in abject misery, I offer this glimmer of hope:

Would you consider voting for....?
Dennis Kucinich 32%
Hillary Clinton 45%
Mitt Romney 51%
John Edwards 52%
Fred Thompson 54%
John McCain 56%
Barack Obama 56%
Rudy! Giuliani 57%

Sorry America - and the world - my state still matters and it remains fucking stupid.