Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly III

"You fuckers are as effective as Democratic messaging!"

The Good: the excellent call for the screen which resulted in our only touchdown. See what happens when you fucking wait until after the two-minute warning? And again, surprisingly, the defense. Seven of the Ravens' points came on an interception return and they started a couple of other drives extra deep in our zone. We gave up less than 300 yards for the second straight week and only 4.3 yards/play.

The Bad: everything else, especially the offensive line. Yeah, DA made a few boneheaded throws in the second half, but that's after getting knocked on his ass about a hundred times and it was all-or-nothing time. Seriously, what the fuck happened to you guys? You guys have fucking sucked this season, including you, Joe Thomas, Mr. Super Rookie Stud Man. Fuck you. Guard Eric Steinbach misses the game and you assholes go from bad to putrescent? At least you fucks aren't Wall Street execs or you'd be in line for a fucking pay raise instead of the cut you deserve.

The Ugly: the mental lapses in every fucking phase. I stopped counting when it hit triple digits. At least we have LeBron for a couple of more seasons before Cleveland sports really goes in the shitter. The worst part is that the AFC is there for the taking. Buffalo, Denver, Tennessee and Baltimore lead their respective divisions. Yeah, those are the fucking four best teams in the conference. One barely beats Oakland, one has no defense, one can't pass and the other has no quarterback.

Fucking hell.

Up next: at the Bungles who might be even worse than us. A frightening thought, but not as frightening as staring down an 0-4 start. The 1992 Chargers we ain't.

And for all those tingly with excitement that the Dems are going "oh, now please Mr. Paulson, sir, can we kind of maybe talk about this $700 billion dollar bailout," don't be fucking stupid. Once the chorus of partisan accusations and doom-and-gloom scenarios hits the refrain, they'll cave like the Browns' offensive line.

Fuck you, capitalist sluts.
Fuck you, cowardly Dems.
Fuck you, Republican deregulation whores.
Fuck you, Americans who keep on voting for these fucks.

If you all spontaneously combusted right now, the world would instantly be better.

"I won't bet against the American people ... We will work through this," Paulson said on NBC.
I wouldn't bet against them getting reamed again, either.

Fuck you.


Beach Bum said...

AMEN! And I have people look at me like I'm crazy when I say something about expatriating. South island of New Zealand is looking better and better.

Christopher said...

No Beach Bum, you're not crazy.

If McCain/McCandy wins we're seriously looking at Italy or Spain.

At the rate things are going here, they can have it.

Border Explorer said...

Dems will cave. We'll get reamed. The Browns suck. Brace!

But remember: we love ya, Randal. We'll all go down together.

La Belette Rouge said...

Wow, I had the same reaction as Beach Bum. Amen, brother Randal!!!! With enough booze we can all get through this. Oh, and we already have our French visa all ready to go.

susan said...

The Republicans never appeal to reason; they appeal to fear and panic.

I'd move to New Zealand tomorrow (or 20 years ago) but it's close to impossible to immigrate there unless they've changed their regulations. Where's my famous brain surgeon degree?

Maybe we can adopt you Randal when we return to Canada.. and yes, your wife and kids too.

MRMacrum said...

Going to Hell in a handbasket is so far not exactly what I envisioned. Fer instance, I did not even consider how much help we would get for the trip by the folks steering the boat. I assumed some kind of outrageous event like God's Wrath or their God's wrath, or maybe an uptight Pakistaner or is Pakistanite, anyway the newest member of the "Nuculur" club would decide to bitch slap one of their neighbors. Or maybe some tussle started over oil would expand dragging the rest of the World into it. Hey, I guess it's not too late for that to happen also.

pissed off patricia said...

Probably not the best time to mention the Cowboys win last night, huh?

As for the financial mess, I just can't fucking talk about it without going all freaking loud and angry as hell.

Anthony Cartouche said...

Romeo sucks.

Candace said...

Good morning, Randal! My, what a nice day. Mmmm. Love me some Cowboys. tra-la-laaaaaaaa.

okjimm said...

Gees.... monday's put you in a good mood, huh?

I feel asleep during the second half of the Packer game...... anyone know who won?

Dean Wormer said...

Picking on the O line? Seriously?

You know that old saying?

Those that don't eat a whole ham for breakfast shouldn't throw stones.

Or something.

Randal Graves said...

BB, I'd feel much better about the $700 billion if part of the deal was a return to extremely high top tax rates and all kind of other limitations.

Look, make your money, but if it's going to come at the expense of everyone's pocketbook who isn't making sick cash, then go work at McDonald's.

christopher, shit, if they win, well, since I can't afford plane tickets, maybe I'll turn into that gun-totin' lunatic on the outskirts of town in every C-grade horror flick who's insane but not the actual killer.

BE, if the Cubs - the Cubs! - win the series, then I'll know Cleveland is doomed forever!

LBR, that's true, you guys do. Can we come with you?

susan, hey, I wouldn't mind Canada. I could practice my French and get to watch hockey!

mrmacrum, oh it's never too late. In fact, they're probably conjuring up variations of your scenario as we speak. Is going out and about in a handbasket a black tie affair?

POP, no, that's fine, I still have faith that Mr. Jessica Simpson will implode come January.

I'm with you on the finance thing. I had a bunch of other crap that I cut out that was even more incoherent vulgarity.

I probably shouldn't have looked at the news right after the game.

AC, go Cheney yourself.

candace, I should have brought a bottle to class.

okjimm, well, given the way they've played, at least I won't have to alter the theme of "they suck" all that much.

Don't count out the Pack. They'll still win their division.

dean, does a few packs of bacon count? They were abysmal. Lombardi is rolling over in his grave. No seals here and nothing up the alley but an untouched blizter.

Mary Ellen said...

Geez...are you just having these meltdowns so I'll share my stash with you? I'm going to have to get another job to pay for the pot just to keep you from going postal.

There was nothing uglier than that Bear's game yesterday. It sucked.

Regarding the ecomomy and the brain dead politician's in's time to kick every one of their sorry asses to the curb and start fresh with a new slate. I mean EVERY ONE...Dems and Republicans. They're all a bunch of corrupt, low-life bums who are making money off the real Americans...the ones who are making an honest living. I'm in a bad mood just thinking about them.


spyderkl said...

Just goes to show...

Corporate socialism - good.
Human socialism (like for actual people, not a corporate entity) - bad. My greatest fear is that that won't change, no matter who's in office.

Yes, I am a dirty Commie. Better yet, I am a Denver Broncos fan. Go Broncos! Maybe this year...

Sal Kilmister said...

Randal- The Internets were created only so this post could come into exsistance. It rules the Tubes like the Phins rule the Pats...

Dusty said... did NOT invoke the 92 Chargers!

You know I am a Charger fan right? Born in Sandy Eggo!

Missy said...

ME, roll a fattie. The whole world is going nuts.

All professional sports are ruined for me. The lions have lost three in a row--hey! Maybe it'll be a perfect season?

Has hockey started up yet?

And don't even get me started on the capitalist pigs and fucktard politicians.

Where is my piece of the pie?

Missy said...

Oh, but in good news, Jack totally laid a kid out at his game Wednesday. He had the ball and the other kid was gonna try to tackle him--he thought Jack was gonna jute, but instead he put his head down and ran right into him--sent him flying backwards, then ran right over him. 10 yards. Now that's all American!

Randal Graves said...

ME, yeah, I don't know what the fuck it is. As for your Bears, that's back-to-back 10-point leads blown in the fourth quarter. I'd rather just get my ass kicked than lose that way.

Concerning the fucking numbskulls in the cesspool, I'll feel better when there's a viable Commie Pinko Socialist Green party. But since America is either/or on everything, that'll never happen.

spyderkl, but the welfare queen didn't work hard for their money unlike those hedge funders and money manipulators. God Bless 'Em.

Denver's defense is worse than any of us could imagine, but Cutler is really coming into his own.

sal, how 'bout those Fish? What a funky offense to run. I hope they keep on mixing stuff up like that!

dusty, it was a compliment! Going from 0-4 to a division title and a playoff win!

missy, are you the CEO of a major corporation or the head of a bank? No? Maybe a piece of the one over there with the rancid crust and rat droppings as filling. Yum!

Oh man, really? Screw all that flag-waving jingoistic crap, a solid football hit is more American for sure!

Dusty said...

1 playoff win...bfd. ;p

Only time the fuckers been to the Super Bowl they got their asses handed to then by the Niners bad.

Missy said...

No thanks; I've got my lottery ticket. I'm movin' on up.

Spartacus said...

,,,and while the American economy goes to hell in a hand basket, the Giants are ...... 3-0.