Friday, September 26, 2008

There's no need to fear, McFossil is here!













"My friends, my silence yesterday spoke louder than words. Which is why, by not showing up at the debate tonight, I'll emerge victorious."

Midday update!

McFossil, after single-handedly saving America from greedy Wall Street fatcats, will take that old standby, the populist railway, to Oxford, Mississippi where he will walk, as fast as his POW-ed legs will allow him, to the University of Mississippi in order to lay out his vast foreign policy expertise of blowing things up. Godspeed, Senator!

















"Don't make me look like a trollop, you cunt."

29 comments:

FranIAm said...

If only Sarah Palin would follow that advice...

Spartacus said...

Sen. McCain whether or not you show up in Mississippi tonight is irrelevant. There wasn't going to be much of debate anyway.

Border Explorer said...

"My friends, I'm pleased to announce that, in appreciation for my economic leadership, I've been contacted to star in a rap video for FreeCreditReport.com."

Mary Ellen said...

I won't be home to watch it anyway, I'll be watching a bigger group of losers than this tonight...at the White Sox game. Ugh....they are such toads.

Christopher said...

Frankly, I hope the Old Coot doesn't show up tonight at the Old Miss.

Why should he bother?

The electoral advantage has shifted to my candidate -- Barack Obama, and I believe he will be elected president-elect on Nov. 4th, 2008.

In any event, there is something physically wrong with the Old Coot. If you look at him, his left eye is drooping. He looks as if he's had a stroke and he doesn't look well.

At 72, the Old Coot doesn't belong in the White House unless he's a tourist. He really belongs back at the Sedona, AZ ranch, playing golf, napping and going out to dinner with Cindy Lou.

Candace said...

Great caption! And you said you couldn't rap ...

Angie said...

I can't wait to sit down and watch this circus tonight. What a way to end my day!

Dean Wormer said...

Awesome. We get an hour and a half lecture from an intelligent adult tonight instead of that old fart blathering.

Randal Graves said...

fran, no such luck as I'm sure her whirlwind, intelligence-gathering tour of foreign nations should be wrapped up by then.

spartacus, if he doesn't show up, does that mean the softball follow up reserved for the Republican after the Democrat gotcha goes to Obama by default?

BE, dammit, there must be a new Wu-Tang Clan. Get McMahon, McCain, um, John Boehner - no, he's not old enough - can we dig up Strom and Jesse?

ME, you know what would be hilarious? My Indians putting the final nails in your White Sox. ;-)

christopher, I'm far too cynical to assume that McFossil won't be the next president. I have zero faith in the American voter. That said, I couldn't agree more that someone of his disqualifications on SO many levels, well, golf might be too strenuous for him. Shuffleboard? Bocce ball?

candace, I am so white, I make McPOW look black.

angie, I'm still not sure if I am or not. If I'm in a decent mood I might not, but if I feel like I need a rise in blood pressure, I might. ;-)

Randal Graves said...

dean, my friends, I wish you wouldn't call my good friend Obama a blathering old fart. Did you know I was a POW? For five years I wasn't allowed to fart.

Agi said...

He'll make a surprise entrance, ten minutes late, like Michael Keaton's Batman in the art museum just to upstage Obama.

Christopher said...

NEWSFLASH!

The Old Coot will in at the Old Miss tonight!

The GOP can breath a sigh of relief!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Doddering. Lurching. Rudderless.

Got. Nothing. Else.

La Belette Rouge said...

I only hope that Obama does to McCain what OSU did to USC. See, another sports reference. Every time a weasel talks about sports Randal has to do another shoe post. That is a direct quote from "It's a wonderful life."

And, I would love it if John went all Eddie Izzard. Perhaps a magenta mouth and some Sheu Umera faux lashes.

susan said...

I'll read about it in the funny papers tomorrow - oops, I mean our magnificent well balanced MSM.

DCup said...

I knew my gentle urging would work.

The Cunning Runt said...

dcup, you got McCain to change his mind, Guud Gurrrl!

Poor Old White Guy. I feel almost Grand-Kid-ly toward him.

Almost...

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!

okjimm said...

" A Trollop, A Trollop! My Kingdom for a Trollop!"

Dusty said...

Excellent caption Randal! ;)

American Hill BIlly said...

Thank God, and Bush for giving We The People a Man like McCain. With his guiding light, I know now the face of Honor, and nobility!!!??


United In Peace And Freedom

Liberality said...

"Hold still and I'll thank you to keep your hands to yourself" she demanded of the old coot as she thinks to herself, 'it's hard enough to make this toad look even remotely presidential without him grimacing and trying to grab at my crotch. Jesus!'

S.W. Anderson said...

Caption: "Mmm, a little dab here, a skosh there . . . hold still while I get some over here.

"Oh yes, senator, they're all gonna say you just look sooo natural!"

DivaJood said...

This proves it. John McCain is an android who keeps getting his face painted. Like some Trollop.

Mauigirl said...

He did look very over-made-up last night. Usually he looks like a pasty white corpse.

Freida Bee said...

For some reason that picture is making me think of Weekend at Bernie's.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Damn, I wish I were his make-up girl. I'd mix itching powder with fine glitter and make him look twitchy AND 80's disco-ish.
HA!

Tom Harper said...

Funny captions. Give some paint to that girl in the 2nd picture, and tell her to start swabbing away.

Or itching powder, like Karen said.

Missy said...

(Weekend at Bernie's! heh, heh)

Betty C. said...

Great names going here...McFossil, Moosolini...

I would have rather enjoyed the debate without McCain. I think we can safely say he blinked first on that one.