Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Plan 9 From Outer Space

A flash of light, and then it was gone! No, man, I'm serious! You didn't see it? How the hell could you not have seen it? It was a fucking UFO! Heading east! An alien presence here, in this place! At this time!

Oh, Youngstown, you're doomed! Doomed!

Look, man, they've landed! Look, damn you, look!

"We're going to put an end to the reckless corruption and unbridled greed on Wall Street," McCain told a crowd of about 8,000 in a giant hangar at at the Youngstown-Warren Regional Airport.
Oh, alien overlords, why must you incinerate our beloved American way of life?
I beg of you, please don't destroy our god-given right to greed with your advanced interstellar technology!
And if Wall Street doesn't heed his call for reform, McCain said, "They will have a fight on their hands with the president of the United States."
Nooooooo! Not the Socialism Death Ray!

Curse you, proletariat aliens!

A malediction upon your manifesto!

A hex upon your superior intelligence!

A pox upon your planet of origin!



Übermilf said...

So, if the government owns the majority of AIG, and "we" are the government, that means I own AIG, right?

When's the first stockholders meeting? I need to clear my schedule.

Mary Ellen said...

I'm really worried about this stock market crash. I mean, all those millions upon millions of dollars I have invested are just going to dwindle away to nothing and I'll have to go back to work instead of blogging.

Dean Wormer said...

Only John McCain can stop the stuff that John McCain has done.

The guy is Tyler Durden.

Sal Kilmister said...

I'm not sure what to say, but things being as they are, I felt it was important for me to say something.

DivaJood said...

Randal, is THAT what that awful green light was? Aliens? We saw it in Los Angeles. BTW, did you GO to the "rally"? Were there really 8000 people, or was that just McCain-style-counting?

Tyler Durden, hah!

Christopher said...

The Old Coot is canceling ads with McCandy.

Apparently, the novelty of the Caribou Barbie and her beauty pageant responses to media questions, coupled with the lurid tales of her tenure as mayor of the meth capital of Alaska — Wasilla, and unethical time as governor, is taking their toll.

McCandy’s favorable numbers have dropped 10 points in 5 days.

It’s looking more and more like the Old Coot made a big, tactical error and should’ve put Joementum on the ticket after all.

Fuck the radical rightwing and the PUMA loons, the McCain/McCandy ticket is becoming roadkill.

I say GOOD. It couldn't happen to two bigger asswipes.

susan said...

Tor and McCain show an uncanny resemblance with the difference being that Tor got paid to look like a zombie (even if it wasn't much for that one).

Tyler Durden.. good one.

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, oh, you'll love them. The caviar is delicious.

ME, the working part isn't the worst, it's having to breathe the same air as the little people.

dean, wow, that's like the very definition of Maverick®.

sal, I used to think like that when formulating my posts, say something important on something important. Now it's stills from a cult classic.

diva, hell, that's on the Ohio-PA border. Now that I wouldn't have minded tossing a tomato or two at McFossil and Mooselini, but that's a lotta gas to burn.

christopher, I wouldn't put too much stock in polls. I'd put more stock in the stupidity of the American voter. Like every other election in this dumbass country, it'll be close.

susan, and Tor was a better actor.

Unconventional Conventionist said...

No no no no no! This was no alien doing. Aliens are much smarter than this Plan 9 of which you speak.

This plan is terrestrial, in the sense of "ground" as in the sense of McPalin (mutant, not alien - there's a difference)doesn't know it's ass from a hole in the ground.

Randal Graves said...

I remain skeptical of your theory, but it's at least plausible, unlike that nonsensical hollow earth stuff. Everyone knows the hollow earthers left millennia ago and now live on the moons of Saturn.

Tom Harper said...

McCain's and Palin's "populist" message??? (Your first link.) What kind of populism is that? Calling all library censors and all those oppressed "hunters" who shoot animals from a helicopter: rise up against your oppressors! Your day is coming at last.

Scarlet W. Blue said...

Instead of Karl Rove, we have Ed Wood now?

Border Explorer said...

If the alien invaders are body snatchers, I know just the kind of cadaver-bait they like!

Randal Graves said...

tom, they really have been kept down for so long, haven't they.

SWB, tell me you wouldn't love Ed Wood as a political consultant.

BE, wow, and people think I can be cruel. That was uncalled for!

Dr. Zaius said...

That makes a certain degree of sense, as Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead. ;o)

Border Explorer said...

Sorry, Cindy. Randal, you're gallant to stick up for her. My bad. Time out.

Randal Graves said...

dr. zaius, hey, it's not a true resurrection until Jess and Strom are back!

BE, I was being very sarcastic towards your cruelty to me. Rag on Cindy all you want. This is a place to be if you don't want to turn the other cheek. ;-)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

If John McCain can fix Wall Street as well as he can fly, then we're all in deep doo doo.