Monday, December 3, 2007

The Axis of Evil

Screw Iran, you know who we really should invade...

A new U.S. intelligence report says Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003 and it remains on hold, contradicting the Bush administration's earlier assertion that Tehran was intent on developing a bomb.
Those devious, freedom-hating bastards! We need cartoon supervillans to support our raison d'être the truth to be told about the dastardly regimes!
Tensions have escalated in recent months as Washington has ratcheted up the rhetoric against Tehran, with U.S. President George W. Bush insisting in October that a nuclear-armed Iran could lead to World War Three.
Um, World War Four, Mr. Reuters dumbass. Which started in 1979. Where the hell did you go to journalism school, Ayatollah U? Deliberately misquoting Der Leader is, dare I say, bordering on treasonous.
A key NIE finding was that: "Tehran's decision to halt its nuclear weapons program suggests it is less determined to develop nuclear weapons than we have been judging since 2005."

Still, the report said: "We also assess with moderate-to-high confidence that Tehran at a minimum is keeping open the option to develop nuclear weapons."
Sweet Mephistopheles! Who knows what a nation with a vast nuclear arsenal could do! USA, you're going down.


Distributorcap said...

oh you know cheney will come up with some other report from some fictitious agency to counter this one......shameless fucks

Mary Ellen said...

What, no WMD? No nukes? How could that be? Bush would never tell a lie, would he????

Those asshats.

Hey, I hope you don't mind if I put in a plug for a live blogging session I'm planning for tomorrow's Democratic Debate in Iowa. Here's the link the post explaining it...everyone is welcome.

And don't forget, Randal, you're bringing the nachos. Extra hot peppers for mine, please.

FranIAm said...

Randal, Randal, Randal... Oh you and this excessive need for truth.

Deep sigh. What are we going to do with you?

If it were possible for the Dick to just say "bomb the motherfuckers" he would and we would be done with it and we would just keep bombing other motherfuckers until there was no world!

But this is politics and it is not always about truth and it is always about nuance.

Here- make it easy on yourself with this list.

Israel- secret nukes ok
Pakistan - did their nuke thing on the sly but ok
India - related to Pakistan and they may blow each other to bits but ok

Does that help?

A bientot!

Freida Bee said...

Dare ye mock our prime leader, the great negotiator, the best case yet intelligent design is flawed, the son of Satan, the lover of Medusa, the right hand of God the other Commander in Chief who favors the US in that oh so special way Larry Craig loves his gardener? Dare ye, I asketh?


Candace said...

Randal, this is brilliant. When I saw this article, all I could do was post it without comment. I really was so sick of this shit I couldn't think of anything to say, except your favorite expletive. :)

Sweet Mephistopheles, indeed.

Randal Graves said...

dcap, bastard probably engineered this whole thing to raise a public stink, giving him more cover to slink around his undisclosed location and plot more devilry.

ME, blogwhoring is always welcome. Plus it makes me feel a little bit naughty, too. You can HAVE the hot peppers. My taste buds are wimps!

Fran, thanks for that list. I'm going to print it out and carry a copy of it in my wallet. That way, whenever some silly moonbat dares question authority, I can just whip out the list, thereby disproving in a moment their carefully constructed, fact-based beliefs. HA!

Freida Bee, I'm *sniff* sorry. I don't know what came over me! What can I do to repent my egregious blasphemy of a man so wonderful, he's not anyone's instrument on earth, but his own?

Candace, sometimes it's fucking okay to swear up a fucking storm. No one will think less of you. :)

Tom Harper said...

I trust our Great Leader more than some international group of wussies. I say we go ahead and nuke Iran; we can't take any chances :)

Who Hijacked Our Country

Randal Graves said...

I agree. Know who else has been looking pretty shifty? Iceland. I don't think we can trust Bjork, do you?