Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dude, that is so gay!

Yes, true believers, I think you've come down off your rapturous, Fundie Jesus-inspired high and are now ready for the final - for now - installment in our nebulously cosmic series of crazy album covers! But you lovers of the Republican Lord, alas, there is no Holiest of Holies here, no ma'am. In fact, if you insist on reading this post until the end, you're choosing to be gay.

Hey, don't yell at me, that's what the nicest guy in America says. If you want to be an asshole and argue with him, that's your prerogative.

At least until the criminalization of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations begins.

Oh, those Gay 90s, with Bubba and his Lesbian Wife/Cat Killer/Murderer, Hitlery, seeding the arteries of power with their Diabolical and Very Radical Homosexual Agenda! What a grand ole time we had back then, didn't we? All that cocksmoking and rug munching...and the styles! Why, John Bolton himself would be jealous of that moustache! Oh, Miss Rudy!, your outfit is just divine! Come on, show us those gams before you nuke Iran!

Don't you feel like wide stancing?

We're a stance, stance, stance, stance, stancing machine
Watch us get down, watch us get down
As we do, do, do our thing
Right in the stall

I know I'm feeling eligible. Aren't you?


Mary Ellen said...

Oh, Randal, you've awakened my lesbian side now. I've decided that I'm dumping my husband and I'm going to chase down (stalk) my dream gal. Thanks for showing me that Huckabee is right...I wasn't born gay, but I'm going to act gay for awhile. I feel free from these bonds of heterosexuality once and for all! Praised be the Huckster!

DCup said...

I prefer to call my lifestyle choice....keeping my options open.

What are those lyrics from the Rush song? Something about even if you refuse to choose, you still have made a choice?

WWHT? (What Would Huckabee Think?)

FranIAm said...

You know acting gay is so much fun, that I can barely NOT do it. Will someone tell Huck that for me please?

I saw a new line on another blog...
WTFWJD? I love it.

Tom Harper said...

"Wide Standing" as a verb. LOL. The new "It" word for '08.

Who Hijacked Our Country

Dr. Zaius said...

Did you notice on the album that the record is not ony in "high fidelity", it is in "MAGNIFICENT high fidelity"? Simply Maaarvelous!

Randal Graves said...

ME and dcup, any chance you two wanna join Freida Bee and Rachel Weisz over at my place for a New Year's Eve celebration?

Fran, you just know that once Fuckabee finished his faux tough guy hunting routine that he went back to the hotel room and put on a little Gilbert and Sullivan.

And I love the WTFWJD. They have gun-toting Jesus, our side can have that!

Tom Harper, man, if only we had some clout, we could make sure that enters the lexicon!

Dr. Zaius, that's like three steps up from regular high fidelity! That's like, REO Speedwagon territory!

FranIAm said...

I had to come back here today to check this out again.

Now that "stancing machine" song is earworming into my head and so early in the goddamned day!

WTFWJD? He would blow your bloody head off! Kablooey! Kabam! Boom! Bang Bang!

Candace said...

Now where did i put my k.d.lang cd's?

Freida Bee said...

Sorry, I was busy listening to my Indigo Girls CDs and didn't know about the invitation. Well, how could I refuse such a marvelous way to start the new year, but only if you bring this album, Randal and ME brings her new girlfriend and D brings her cups and oh, I'll bring my Rachel. I hope she's still alive tied up out there in the trunk.

Actually, I'm pretty sure at the stroke of something, I'm just going straight to hell. See ya'll there.

Randal Graves said...

Fran, is there some unspoken lusty thing that you haven't told us about?

Candace, probably left them over at k.d.'s house.

Freida Bee, she better be alive as I just brought a new roll of film. And I'm sure I'll be stroking something later. Oh, you were referring to man-made measurements of chronological events and eternal lakes of burning sulfur. So was I.
I'll bring the hot dog. Hot dogS.