Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Happy Birthday, Mithras!
















I hope you've gotten everything you want - I didn't, again - on this holiest of days, if you've been initiated, that is. The rest of you mere mortals are stuck with simple Saturnalia shenanigans of cheap, tawdry orgies and the inevitable overflow of the vomitorium. And don't get me started on that impostor and would-be usurper, Sol Invictus. Our god will destroy you, Unconquerable Sun, just you watch!

But what to make of you wags with your whole 'Jesus' thing? I don't think that'll last. I give it another decade, tops. Crazy, messianic lunatics.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a bull to sacrifice.

Oops, I've said too much.

[In all seriousness, I hope all you self-aware entities have an exceptionally groovy day. Just don't tell anyone that I was a nice guy for even a moment. Would completely ruin my hard-earned rep as a juvenile jackass.]

9 comments:

Karen said...

Aha! I knew you looked familiar! I've seen you around at the various Mithric gatherings. I'd confirm this with our secret handshake but others will read this and then I'd have to kill them. And no one want that right? RIGHT?

La Belette Rouge said...

Ah, the Mysteries of Mithras! The holiday for the rest of us. Or, is that Festivus? Well, whatever you and your Victoria Secret Santa are celebrating, I hope your day is filled with good wine, music and song. :-)

Mary Ellen said...

Wait....you didn't get the stash I left under your tree? Are your kids acting a little strange this morning? Ooops! When you scrape them off the ceiling, make sure you have some munchies ready for them. Next year I'll be sure to put it in your Christmas stocking. Sorry.

Merry Christmas,

Santa

spyderkl said...

Woohoo! Happy Saturnalia! Don't have too much fun (in case there is such a thing as too much...)!

It's been snowing really hard here since 5:30 AM. Ask me how I know...

LET'S TALK said...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Randal Graves said...

Karen, oh shit, now you've done it. We're going to have to eliminate everyone.

LBR, you know, I might be the only person between the ages of 18-49 who has not seen a single episode of Seinfeld. I didn't get to celebrate that way unfortunately, but could've been worse. Hope you had a good day. :)

ME, oh don't worry, how do you think I was able to handle everything? Thanks for the Santa-izing, you're the best.

spyderkl, don't tell me you spent Xmas shoveling your driveway!

Let's Talk, to you as well, my friend!

Dr. Zaius said...

I didn't know that it was Mothra's birthday... Merry Christmas, Randal!

Candace said...

Randal, hey - I was talking about Mithras and Sol Invictus and all the gang today, too. Coinkydink? Nah, we're both just heretics....

Hope you had a GREAT day and didn't overeat as much as I did. :)

Oh, and what was it you DID want for Christmas this year, anyway? If you can say, that is...

Randal Graves said...

Dr. Zaius, I'm just glad I remembered. You recall the last time we all forgot Gidrah's birthday. Man, was he pissed.

Candace, I can feel the flames of Hades nipping at my feet already. Are you kidding? I'm the one with the bowlful of jelly today. Yikes! And I ain't sayin' a word about that. :)