Friday, December 7, 2007

Cleanliness is next to Cowboy-less-ness

There's my sixty ten-second doodle!

Oh, how clean I feel, like the dirt has been washed off my skin, like the disease has been cured and the pus has dried up and the throbbing pustules no longer throb and I can go out in public again without a disguise!

I feel born again. I a virgin! Hey! Blogging for the very first time!

Too bad this is only a blog. You should see the sexy underwear I have - on second thought, you'll just have to wait for my book. Eat it, Madonna.

[editor's note: the reason that the hideous monstrosity wasn't immediately removed first thing is that your friendly neighborhood proprietor is at home feeling quite ill.
"How ill is he?"
"He's so ill, he's as sick as a _______."
"A dog. Coochie coochie coo!"
"Charles Nelson Reilly?"
"Republican voter."
"Larry from Des Moines?"
"I'll go with Charles Nelson Reilly."
I'm going to lie down. Be good, kids.]


Candace said...

Sorry to hear you're sick, Randal, but that's what happens when you curse the Cowboys. Don't blame me, it's some kind of cosmic law thingy.

La Belette Rouge said...

Good news: you have artistic talent and you may love the Match Game as much as I do. Do you know they show reruns of it on the Game Show network?

Bad news: You are sick. Sorry! Get better soon. I am sort of sick to--well, injured. Hurt my tailbone when the mean-mean ice made me fall down and go boom. Chicken soup for everyone, this rounds on me.

Jess Wundrun said...

Get well soon!

Mary Ellen said...

Oh no! Sick??? Eat chicken soup...lots of chicken soup. And ya know what else I heard? This radio station was talking about home remedies for colds and a bunch of callers called in and swears by this's odd, I have to admit. But, they said if you rub Vicks Vapo Rub on your feet and put on thick warm socks, it makes you feel better sooner. I know it's weird, but I'm a sucker for home remedies.

TomCat said...

Randal, I hope you recover quickly, and thanks for sparing us the underwear pic. ;-)

dguzman said...

What Candace said! Serves ya right, hatah! Kneel, kneel before the Star!

Snave said...

If you had subjected us all to an underwear picture, I might have had to do the same. So thanks for not doing it.

Hope you get better SOON!

FranIAm said...

Get better. Chicken soup and more vitriol ought to do the trick.

b said...

Finally...I recognize your blog again. Loading your blog each day made me do a double take! Hope your feeling better! :)

Anonymous said...

Hope you're on the mend now, our little Cowboy hater.

Freida Bee said...

I know just the thing to help you feel better, another meme. Well, not a meme, but Splotchy's VIral Story. I think you were precognitively infected, which means you do not choose to accept the meme. The meme has chosen you.

Splotchy said...

Hope you feel better. Nice doodle. It cries out in pain like a sick blogger.

Distributorcap said...

i can send you the Jets -- that might make you have a relapse...

get well

Randal Graves said...

First off, a blanket thanks to everyone for the well wishing. You fuckers are the best, and I mean fucker in the best sense of the word, the most versatile in the entire English language!

Candace, if that is indeed true, can we have Bush and Co. start making fun of Dallas every day?

LBR, I certainly do! And I can sympathize with your foray into the Ice Capades as that dastardly black ice has been known to sneak up on me as well. I need new shoes!

Jess, merci!

ME, Vicks is a staple in our house, but I've never heard of on the feet. I know that's a big heat regulator along with the skull...weirdness!

Tomcat, believe me, I'd only save such an affront against nature for my fiercest enemies. :)

dguzman, you know, if I was a believer in karma, I'd think I'd have done something bad in a previous incarnation given how so many of my blogging buddies are fucking Cowboys fans. WTF?

snave, hell no, sir. If we did that, everyone would go blind from the horror, and then what would be the point of blogging anymore?

Fran, merci, but why be venomous? The world is at peace, the housing market is stable, the economy is booming and racism, sexism and homophobia have been eliminated! Thank you Bush and the GOP!

b, thanks and believe me, I hated loading my own blog. Shudder! :)

dcup, I sent up a blood sacrifice to Tom Landry and all is now better.

Freida Bee, oh shit, that means I have to be creative, doesn't it?

splotchy, thank you sir. Yes, it is pretty fucking hideous, isn't it? I need more practice!

dcap, thanks man, but since we're playing them this week, I'm refraining from saying as single thing bad about them.

Scarlet W. Blue said...

Get well, RG!

Randal Graves said...

The well is getting there, thanks, mon amie!