Saturday, December 22, 2007

Police State: The Next Generation

"Mr. Data, spy factor nine. Engage."

The FBI is embarking on a $1 billion project to build the world's largest computer database of biometrics to give the government more ways to identify people at home and abroad, the Washington Post reported on Friday.
At least we can be assured of this being handled by the federal government itself, and not some unregulated private sector enterprise.
In January, the agency -- which focuses on violations of federal law, espionage by foreigners and terrorist activities -- expects to award a 10-year contract to expand the amount and kinds of biometric information it receives, it said.
At least we can be assured of a veritable labyrinth of safeguards so this vital information cannot fall into the wrong hands, such as the nefarious ne'er-do-well who, through no American influence whatsoever, turns to radical Islamofascistocommunistopinkoism.
If successful, the system, called Next Generation Identification, will collect the biometric information in one place for identification and forensic purposes, the Post said.
Oh, okay. On some lackey's $750 laptop.

You know, Saint Ronnie might be proven right after all. The most terrifying words in the English language these days indeed are "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." I feel safer already. Don't you?


TomCat said...

Now how do we keep the GOP from using it? :-(

b said...

Oh, I feel much safer (rolling my eyes)!

La Belette Rouge said...

This post makes my head hurt. We need a new captain.;-) And, I know that Jean Luc Picard is French. But I long to go back to the low-tech days of Captain Kirk where the worst that could happen to you was having Cappy, Mad-Cow, Kirk hit on you.
(Please note: I would never have known a Star Trek reference if I wasn't married).

Tom Harper said...

Aha! Now we know who you are. Your IP and Blogger ID# correspond with our secret data. You smoked marijuana in the A&P parking lot 5 years ago and drove away when a peace officer tried to question you. Gotcha!

Do not try to escape. The Ministry of Love will be visiting you shortly. We know where you are.

Who Hijacked Our Country

Anonymous said...

Didn't the national ID card pass as a rider? The radicals say that it'll have a gps chip, fingerprints, the whole works.

HHmm, I suppose I shouldn't be worried. They already have my figerprints, blood, DNA. Hell, I have a tattoed computer chip already on the back of my neck.

Anonymous said...

Fuck. Can I spell fingerprints right? I think NOT.

Freida Bee said...

I hope Captain Picard will come kick ass for this blasphmous use of The Next Generation name. I, for one, am appalled that my last bastion of goodness in this dog-eat-dog world, The Next Generation, is being used to manipulate my opinion on this atrocity. Did I say that I don't like this, not one little bit. Neither the part about the thing going down, not the mockery via hypey name. Did I say...

Why isn't anyone listening to ME?

This is a violation of the Prime Directive, I mean Constitution.

Randal Graves said...

Tomcat, oh I'm sure we can count on the Democrats!

Tom, that's bullshit. It wasn't the A&P, it was the Piggly Wiggly! Where's my lawyer?!?!?!

Colleen, that tattoo is for - no, I cannot say. Just don't make any plans for November 4, 2008.

Lt. Worf, will you please throw Freida Bee in the brig? A few hours in the cooler should knock her anti-freedom rantings down a notch.

Scarlet W. Blue said...

I feel PARANOID, thank you very much.

Randal Graves said...

Then my work is done!

Candace said...

Make that IslamoCHRISTOfascistocommunistopinkoism

FranIAm said...

What a fucking train wreck. This is some bad, bad shit.

And not to sound dismal 'n shit at the holiday season, but it will get worse before it gets better.

Je suis desolee that I have not been here much. Sometimes I am here and just lurk.

Like an FBI motherfucker.

Mwah- a big french kiss for you.

Randal Graves said...

Candace, naw, Fundie Jesus says that's okay. So just go about your business and don't mind the man in the funny hat and earpiece.

Fran, hey, I'm all about the dismal, so pile on. Always room for more of that! Wait, working for the feds isn't your new job is it? And hey now, this is a family fucking blog. Let's go in the back, wink, nudge.

FranIAm said...

Meet you there in 5 baby!