Saturday, October 4, 2008

Go Puck Yourself

Unlike our elected officials, I give the people what they want.

Bad poetry? No!

Bad political snark? No!

Hockey? Yes!

Always glad to have your support, governor. Hey, what are you doing with that gun? I'm not a moose. We don't have moose in Ohio. Wait, listen to me, dammit! Stop! Noooooooooooooooo!

"Where's my bailout, you bastards?"

Oh, is this finally the year when the playoff drought ends? No, not the Browns. I already know those fuckers won't be ending my sporting misery. I'm talking about my Columbus Blue Jackets. C'mon, just gimme a few more net-shredding forwards and I gar-on-tee we'll be playing when it's approaching 80°. Unless Rick Nash becomes possessed by the spirit of Mike Bossy right now, then it would be this season after all.

okjimm, if you read this entire post, I'll buy you a beer.

Atlantic: Pittsburgh, barely. Maybe. Why barely maybe after such a strong showing last spring? Well, their starting blueline tandem is out until December (Ryan Whitney) and 4-6 months (Sergei Gonchar). The saving grace is that they have the best and second-best centers on the planet. Philadelphia won't surprise anyone this year. I'm still not sold on Martin Biron, his playoff heroics notwithstanding, but they're deep and Braydon Coburn is a beast. Now the Rangers have an actual Vezina-quality goalie, perhaps the best in the NHL after godstopper Martin Brodeur. But, like the Devils, they keep on taking baby steps backwards on offense. Are you sold on Nikolai Zherdev? What's that line, million dollar, um, slapshot, ten cent head. Jersey did bring back old hand Brian Rolston and Patrik Elias can't continue the downward slide, can he? The genius of Marty holds off the golfing for at least one more campaign. The Islanders are very young, save for 700-year old free agent signee Doug Weight. They'll be horrible.

Northeast: The Canadiens are the class of the division and mirror Philadelphia in many ways in terms of their depth without any bonafide, front rank superstars. If Carey Price can overcome the mental nuclear winter of his playoff bomb -- and if Methuselah Kovalev can repeat last year's 84 point performance -- then they could easily represent the East. Ottawa self-destructed last year, but getting rid of head case Ray Emery and bringing in some gritty role players can only help, plus they still have Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley and Daniel Alfredsson. Buffalo actually managed to resign one of their players for once, arguably their most important, goalie Ryan Miller. He'll be enough, along with a bunch of young guns, to keep the Sabres playing after 82 games. Most will see Boston as a bubble team, but don't forget just how much time Patrice Bergeron, their best player, missed last season. Despite shaky goaltending, they could sneak back in. Toronto, well, they're spinning wheels.

Southeast: Mustering up all of my hockey wisdom, I correctly predicted that the Capitals would make the playoffs. I also predicted that the Senators would win the Cup, but let's let bygones be bygones. I was tempted to choose Carolina yet again because, when healthy, I still believe they're the most complete team in the division. Thus it came as no surprise when right wing Justin Williams tore his right achilles. Tampa Bay maintains oodles of offense and added top overall pick Steve Stamkos. They have quite possibly the worst defense this side of L.A. and no goalie, so at least they'll conjure up fond memories of the high-flying 1980s. Hell, they even have The Mullet! Florida and Atlanta are both young and generally crappy across the board, but the Panthers have Tomas Vokoun and the Thrashers don't. Wonder how long it'll be before Ilya Kovalchuk signs with the KHL for 86 gajillion rubles.

Central: Detroit. The best team in the league added sniper Marian Hossa. Duh. Well lookie here. The Blackhawks, after drafting well for a few years, are relevant again. Adding puck-moving defenseman Brian Campbell should be the last playoff piece. I actually do like some of the moves the Blue Jackets did, R. J. Umberger for starters, and Pascal Leclaire will prove this season that he's a top-ten goalie, but scoring goals will likely remain difficult and probably keep them out of the postseason for one more year. Poor Nashville. You guys have tried so hard in a market that doesn't give a flying fuck about hockey. St. Louis is still rebuilding. Man, I remember when you guys still had Chris Pronger and were an actual force. Drafting his replacement, Erik Johnson, and losing him for the season for an injury sustained at a charity golf event when he's ready to be The Man has gotta hurt. I've been telling everyone for decades that golf is evil. You don't listen, and this is what happens.

Northwest: It's not out of the realm of fanciful, Chimpy in chains at The Hague-style dreaming for any of these teams to win the division, but we can only pick one -- oh, what the hell. Edmonton. All that young, fast talent reminds of when they outhustled nearly everyone to a Stanley Cup a few years back. Of course, they could all fall flat on their pimply faces -- the defense is still on the wrong side of mediocre -- but it says here they won't. If they do, Minnesota will be there to grab the divisional crown, though who knows when they'll resolve Marian Gaborik's contract or whether he'll head overseas. Now that I think about it, perhaps Calgary is the better candidate because they still have Mikka Kiprusoff and all-world winger Jarome Iginla and who knows, maybe ex-thug Todd Bertuzzi can help replace Alex Tanguay and Kristian Huselius, though I doubt it. Colorado? Have fun with Peter Budaj and Andrew Raycroft as the last line of defense. Lots of 5-4 games in your immediate future. Draft Paul Stastny for your fantasy league! Vancouver has Roberto Luongo, the Sedin twins and youth.

Pacific: Since Scott Niedermayer and Teemu Selanne are still around in addition to the rest of the crew, the Ducks have to be the divisional favorite, but Dallas and San Jose will be right on their heels. Pick any one of these three, solid goaltending, relatively deep rosters, you can't lose. As for the rest, Phoenix is slowly -- as in molasses in the dead of winter -- getting better with all their young guys, but until the teams ahead of them age a bit more, all you'll receive is The Great One regaling you during zamboni time with stories of yore: "once there was a giant named Marty McSorley and he used to eat little babies between periods. Just like Cheney!" Los Angeles has some pieces on offense, most notably center Anze Kopitar, but an abysmal defense.

Eastern playoff teams: Montreal, Pittsburgh, Washington, Philadelphia, Ottawa, N.Y. Rangers, Buffalo, New Jersey, though if Tampa Bay only had even a mediocre goalie...

Western playoff teams: Detroit, Anaheim, Edmonton, Dallas, San Jose, Minnesota, Calgary, Chicago.

Stanley Cup Finals: Until someone proves they're better -- or luckier or hungrier -- Detroit should repeat, becoming the first team to do so since 1998 when, yes, Detroit did. As for their opponent, I could easily see Pittsburgh returning, but with the loss of Marian Hossa and the injuries on defense, they'll lose out on home ice to a team celebrating its 100th season, the Montreal Canadiens. Who wouldn't want to see that, besides all of Canada outside of Quebec? Allez les Habs !


Christopher said...

I'm not afraid of much but I do fear Republicans, running out of bathroom tissue and clowns.

I used think this was odd but I've seen many different lists naming what people fear and clowns are always in the top ten.

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Since you've gotten me into the clown mood, I'll skip the hockey and watch I, Pagliacci instead today.

susan said...

When I was very young there was a hockey player 'tres magnificent' so since this is also the 100th anniversary of les Canadiennes I share the memory of The Rocket.

No clowns, no Republicans, no bailout - just pure skill and joy.. a bientot!

DivaJood said...

Maurice Richard. Now that was a hockey player. And Bobby Hull. And Stan Mikita. And Gordie Howe. And Glenn Hall. Back when hockey players didn't have teeth.

La Belette Rouge said...

Oh, Mother pucker! Hockey? Writing about hockey is almost the equivalent of supporting Moosalini. Forgive my desperate attempt to try and get you not to write about the hockey.;-)

Randal Graves said...

christopher, I've seen that as well. It has to be some primordial fear of the trickster figure or something. Or maybe we've simply transferred our fear of Republicans, who are essentially clowns, to the real thing.

UC, is that like I, Robot but with countertenors?

susan, the Rocket was quite the bad mofo. What did they win, six straight titles?

diva, many of them today are keeping up that fine tradition of poor dentistry. And be happy, I bet your Blackhawks finally make the playoffs again.

LBR, it's bad enough that I have to stave off beer-drinkin, mulletized stereotypes, and then she comes along to wreck it even further.

I'll make a deal with you. I'll stop writing about hockey, you stop writing about shoes. ;-)

Our Juicy Life said...

I've been away for a week or so and this is the post I get...HOCKEY?

Tom Harper said...

I'm not OKJimm but I did read the whole post. How about that beer?

Make it a Port Townsend Boatyard Bitter (an excellent local microbrew).

susan said...

It wasn't poor dental health so much as the fact they were such manly men they wore no helmets so took the occasional puck in the mouth.. but not so many sticks. Those were the days before enforcers hit the ice but every so often an octopus did.

diva - We can never forget Frank Mahovlich either. He played for the Maple Leafs, les Canadiennes and the Red Wings.

6 straight, yep :-)

Randal Graves said...

OJL, man, what's with all you hockey haters? Scroll down for bad political snark and bad poetry!

tom, it's on me.

susan, oh I know it was the lack o' helmets, but that doesn't make them manly men as much as it makes them lunatics. And the goalies? First-class nutballs. Would you want to be a goalie in the 50s? Yeesh! Still, anyone named Gump Worsley gets big time bonus points.

Anonymous said...

Randal... I didn't read the whole thing.. I stopped at Sarah Palin. I was imaging her giving a political speech in the dressing room at Madison Square Garden and then someone turned off the lights and camera in my brain. So much for voyeurism.

Truth be told. Hockey is just the tonic I need now that the Mets are OUT!!! Football only comes on once a week and that's much too long for me to wait for a sporting event. Go Rangers!

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, you need to wash that image out of your mind with a stiff drink!

Make it a double in celebration, your Rangers won over in Europe today, 2-1 over Tampa Bay.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Randal: I'll give you my full NHL opinion in a few days but I like Columbus a lot. You have if not the #1 coach, at least Hitch is in the top #5. Nash is fine but realize that he's just a goal crasher, a better version of what Hitch had with Morrow in Dallas. I like Huselius and Umberger a lot as pickups and Brassard has to have a lot of ice time on 2nd line. No reason not to take a chance on going with Voracek at 3rd line RW. He looks like a hawkey player. Filatov may still be too raw.

I liked the way Hitch took advantage of Russell's speed on defense last year but they are still way too slow defensively. Commodore and Matvichuk don't help at all. My top pair would be Russell and Klesla. Next I guess would be Hedja and Clay Wilson. Then Commodore and Backman. With Tollefson, Matvichuk and all the other statues mostly scratches. Tyutin will be injured mostly!

Still, if anyone can turn lemons into lemonade on D, it's Hitch.

Leclair and Norenna are very underrated as goalies and you have no gripe there whatsoever.

Look, Scotty is Scotty is Scotty. Detroit does everything perfectly. Detroit's running away with the division. Chicago, however, underperformed their roster ability last year and they are much improved this year. That's the Central. Columbus very much in the frame for a high seed in playoffs.

Utah Savage said...

I liked the Movie "Slap Shot."

okjimm said...

You're off the hook. Hookey. Hockie. Hockey. whatever.
Utah is right, that was an ok movie. Paulie, rest his soul&stuff.

Are you gonna talk hockey, though, all through the season...? What? Next July or sumptin'?

Candace said...

Sometimes on this site, I just look at the pictures.

This was one of those times.

Anonymous said...

I saved this anonymous post the other night. Frankly, It scared the heck out of me. When I heard about the woman who shot herself, I remembered one line from the post. "Crime, poverty, and suicide will sky-rocket." The entire post is a good 5 minute read. I think its worth your time. Its nothing like what you've heard elsewhere. Anyway here it is.

Amazing. The first ever global depression will go down in history horribly misunderstood. What a pathetic bunch of ignorant fools we have become. Consumer junkie credit card morons. Perfect little victims. Say that reminds me.

Don’t believe one optimistic word from any public figure about the economy or humanity in general. They are all part of the problem. Its like a game of Monopoly. In America, the richest 1% now hold ALMOST 1/2 OF ALL UNITED STATES WEALTH. Unlike ‘lesser’ estimates, this includes all stocks, bonds, cash, offshore accounts, and material assets held by America’s richest 1%. Even that filthy pig Oprah acknowledged that it was at about 50% in 2006. Naturally, she put her own ‘humanitarian’ spin on it. Calling attention to her own ‘good will’. WHAT A DISGUSTING HYPOCRITE SLOB. THE RICHEST ONE PERCENT HAVE LITERALLY MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Don’t fall for any of their ‘humanitarian’ CRAP. ITS A SHAM. THESE PEOPLE ARE CAUSING THE SAME PROBLEMS THEY PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT. Ask any professor of economics. Money does not grow on trees. The government can’t just print up more on a whim. At any given time, there is a relative limit to the wealth within ANY economy of ANY size. So when too much wealth accumulates at the top, the middle class slip further into debt and the lower class further into poverty. A similar rule applies worldwide. The world’s richest 1% now own over 40% of ALL WORLD WEALTH. This is EVEN AFTER you account for all of this ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS from celebrities and executives. ITS A SHAM. As they get richer and richer, less wealth is left circulating beneath them. This is the single greatest underlying cause for the current US recession. The middle class can no longer afford to sustain their share of the economy. Their wealth has been gradually transfered to the richest 1%. One way or another, we suffer because of their incredible greed. We are talking about TRILLIONS of dollars which have been transfered FROM US TO THEM. All over a period of about 27 years. Thats Reaganomics for you. The wealth does not ‘trickle down’ as we were told it would. It just accumulates at the top. Shrinking the middle class and expanding the lower class. Causing a domino effect of socio-economic problems. But the rich will never stop. They just keep getting richer. Leaving even less of the pie for the other 99% of us to share. At the same time, they throw back a few tax deductible crumbs and call themselves ‘humanitarians’. Cashing in on the PR and getting even richer the following year. IT CAN’T WORK THIS WAY. Their bogus efforts to make the world a better place can not possibly succeed. Any ‘humanitarian’ progress made in one area will be lost in another. EVERY SINGLE TIME. IT ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT WORK THIS WAY. This is going to end just like a game of Monopoly. The current US recession will drag on for years and lead into the worst US depression of all time. The richest 1% will live like royalty while the rest of us fight over jobs, food, and gasoline. So don’t fall for any of this PR CRAP from Hollywood, Pro Sports, and Wall Street PIGS. ITS A SHAM. Remember: They are filthy rich EVEN AFTER their tax deductible contributions. Greedy pigs. Now, we are headed for the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time. Crime, poverty, and suicide will skyrocket. SEND A “THANK YOU” NOTE TO YOUR FAVORITE MILLIONAIRE. ITS THEIR FAULT. I’m not discounting other factors like China, sub-prime, or gas prices. But all of those factors combined still pale in comparison to that HUGE transfer of wealth to the rich. Anyway, those other factors are all related and further aggrivated because of GREED. If it weren’t for the OBSCENE distribution of wealth within our country, there never would have been such a market for sub-prime to begin with. IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE OBSCENE, UNREASONABLE, AND UNJUST DISTRIBUTION OF UNITED STATES WEALTH, THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A MARKET FOR SUB-PRIME AND THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN A COLLAPSE IN THE HOUSING MARKET. Sub-prime did not cause the problem. It only accelerated the outcome. Which by the way, was another trick whipped up by greedy bankers and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. The credit industry has been ENDORSED by people like Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Dr Phil, and many other celebrities. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. In fact, they specifically endorsed Countrywide by name. The same Countrywide widely responsible for predatory adjustable rate sub-prime lending and the accelerated collapse of the housing market. ENDORSED BY OPRAH WINFREY, ELLEN DEGENERES, AND DR PHIL. Now, there are commercial ties between nearly every industry and every public figure. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. It also drives up the cost for nearly every product and service on the market. So don’t fall for their ‘good will’ BS. ITS A LIE. If you fall for it, then you’re a fool. If you see any real difference between the moral character of a celebrity, politician, attorney, or executive, then you’re a fool. No offense fellow citizens. But we have been mislead by nearly every public figure. We still are. Even now, they claim to be ‘hurting’ right along with the rest of us. As if gas prices actually effect the lifestyle of a millionaire. ITS A LIE. IN 2007, THE RICHEST 1% INCREASED THEIR AVERAGE BOTTOM LINE WEALTH AGAIN. On average, they are now worth over $4,000,000 each. Thats an all time high. As a group, they are now worth well over $17,000,000,000,000. THATS WELL OVER SEVENTEEN TRILLION DOLLARS. Another all time high. Which by the way, is much more than the entire middle and lower classes combined. Also more than enough to pay off our national debt, fund the Iraq war for a decade, repair our infrastructure, and bail out the US housing market. Still think that our biggest problem is China? Think again. Its the 1% club. That means every big name celebrity, athlete, executive, entrepreneur, developer, banker, and lottery winner. Along with many attorneys, doctors, and politicians. If they are rich, then they are part of the problem. Their incredible wealth was not ‘created’, ‘generated’, grown in their back yard, or printed up on their command. It was transfered FROM US TO THEM. Directly and indirectly. Its become near impossible to spend a dollar without making some greedy pig even richer. Don’t be fooled by the occasional loss of a millionaire’s fortune. Overall, they just keep getting richer. They absolutely will not stop. Still, they have the nerve to pretend as if they care about ordinary people. ITS A LIE. NOTHING BUT CALCULATED PR CRAP. WAKE UP PEOPLE. THEIR GOAL IS TO WIN THE GAME. The 1% club will always say or do whatever it takes to get as rich as possible. Without the slightest regard for anything or anyone but themselves. Reaganomics. Their idea. Loans from China. Their idea. NAFTA. Their idea. Outsourcing. Their idea. Sub-prime. Their idea. High energy prices. Their idea. Oil ‘futures’. Their idea. Obscene health care charges. Their idea. The commercial lobbyist. Their idea. The multi-million dollar lawsuit. Their idea. The multi-million dollar endorsement deal. Their idea. $200 cell phone bills. Their idea. $200 basketball shoes. Their idea. $30 late fees. Their idea. $30 NSF fees. Their idea. $20 DVDs. Their idea. Subliminal advertising. Their idea. Brainwash plots on TV. Their idea. Vioxx, and Celebrex. Their idea. Excessive medical testing. Their idea. The MASSIVE campaign to turn every American into a brainwashed, credit card, pharmaceutical, medical testing, love-sick, celebrity junkie. Their idea. All of the above drive up the cost of living, shrink the middle class, concentrate the world’s wealth and resources, create a dominoe effect of socio-economic problems, and wreak havok on society. All of which have been CREATED AND ENDORSED by celebrities, athletes, executives, entrepreneurs, attorneys, and politicians. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for any of their ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS. ITS A SHAM. NOTHING BUT TAX DEDUCTIBLE PR CRAP. In many cases, the ‘charitable’ contribution is almost entirely offset. Not to mention the opportunity to plug their name, image, product, and ‘good will’ all at once. Which is usually done just before or after the release of their latest commercial project. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. These filthy pigs even have the nerve to throw a fit and spin up a misleading defense with regard to ‘federal tax revenue’. ITS A SHAM. THEY SCREWED UP THE EQUATION TO BEGIN WITH. If the middle and lower classes had a greater share of the pie, they could easily cover a greater share of the federal tax revenue. They are held down in many ways because of greed. Wages remain stagnant for millions because the executives, celebrities, athletes, attorneys, and entrepreneurs, are paid millions. They over-sell, over-charge, under-pay, outsource, cut jobs, and benefits to increase their bottom line. As their profits rise, so do the stock values. Which are owned primarily by the richest 5%. As more United States wealth rises to the top, the middle and lower classes inevitably suffer. This reduces the potential tax reveue drawn from those brackets. At the same time, it wreaks havok on middle and lower class communities and increases the need for financial aid. Not to mention the spike in crime because of it. There is a dominoe effect to consider. IT CAN’T WORK THIS WAY. But our leaders refuse to acknowledge this. Instead they come up with one trick after another to milk the system and screw the majority. These decisions are heavily influensed by the 1% club. Every year, billions of federal tax dollars are diverted behind the scenes back to the rich and their respective industries. Loans from China have been necessary to compensate in part, for the red ink and multi-trillion dollar transfer of wealth to the rich. At the same time, the feds have been pushing more financial burden onto the states who push them lower onto the cities. Again, the hardship is felt more by the majority and less by the 1% club. The rich prefer to live in exclusive areas or upper class communities. They get the best of everything. Reliable city services, new schools, freshly paved roads, upscale parks, ect. The middle and lower class communities get little or nothing without a local tax increase. Which, they usually can’t afford. So the red ink flows followed by service cuts and lay-offs. All because of the OBSCENE distribution of bottom line wealth in this country. Anyway, when you account for all federal, state, and local taxes, the middle class actually pay about the same rate as the rich. The devil is in the details. So when people forgive the rich for their incredible greed and then praise them for paying a greater share of the FEDERAL income taxes, its like nails on a chalk board. I can not accept any theory that our economy would suffer in any way with a more reasonable distribution of wealth. Afterall, it was more reasonable 30 years ago. Before Reaganomics came along. Before GREED became such an epidemic. Before we had an army of over-paid executives, bankers, celebrities, athletes, attorneys, doctors, investors, entrepreneurs, developers, and sold-out politicians to kiss their asses. As a nation, we were in much better shape. Strong middle class, free and clear assets, lower crime rate, more widespread prosperity, stable job market, lower deficit, ect. Our economy as a whole was much more stable and prosperous for the majority. WITHOUT LOANS FROM CHINA. Now, we have a more obscene distribution of bottom line wealth than ever before. We have a sold-out government, crumbling infrastructure, energy crisis, home forclosure epidemic, credit crunch, weak US dollar, 13 figure national deficit, and 12 figure annual shortfall. The cost of living is higher than ever before. Most people can’t even afford basic health care. ALL BECAUSE OF GREED. I really don’t blame the 2nd -5th percentiles in general. No economy could ever function without some reasonable scale of personal wealth and income. But it can’t be allowed to run wild like a mad dog. ALBERT EINSTEIN TRIED TO MAKE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND. UNBRIDLED CAPITALISM ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT WORK. TOP HEAVY ECONOMIES ALWAYS COLLAPSE. Bottom line: The richest 1% will soon tank the largest economy in the world. It will be like nothing we’ve ever seen before. The American dream will be shattered. and thats just the beginning. Greed will eventually tank every major economy in the world. Causing millions to suffer and die. Oprah, Angelina, Brad, Bono, and Bill are not part of the solution. They are part of the problem. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE HUMANITARIAN. EXTREME WEALTH MAKES WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. WITHOUT WORLD PROSPERITY, THERE WILL NEVER BE WORLD PEACE OR ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL. Of course, the rich will throw a fit and call me a madman. Of course, they will jump to small minded conclusions about ‘jealousy’, ‘envy’, or ’socialism’. Of course, their ignorant fans will do the same. You have to expect that. But I speak the truth. If you don’t believe me, then copy this entry and run it by any professor of economics or socio-economics. Then tell a friend. Call the local radio station. Re-post this entry or put it in your own words. Be one of the first to predict the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time and explain its cause. WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.

So what can we do about it? Well, not much. Unfortunately, we are stuck on a runaway train. The problem has gone unchecked for too many years. The US/global depression is comming thanks to the 1% club. It would take a massive effort by the vast majority to prevent it. Along with a voluntary sacrifice by the rich. THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. But if you believe in miracles, then spend your money as wisely as possible. Especially in middle and lower class communities. Check the Fortune 500 list and limit your support of high profit/low labor industries (Hollywood, pro sports, energy, credit, pharmaceutical, cable, satelite, internet advertising, cell phone, high fashion, jewelry, ect.). Cancel all but one credit card for emergencies only. If you need a cell phone, then do your homework and find the best deal on a local pre-pay. If you want home internet access, then use the least expensive provider, and share accounts whenever possible. If you need to search, then use the less popular search engines. They usually produce the same results anyway. Don’t click on any internet ad. If you need the product or service, then look up the phone number or address and contact that business directly. Don’t pay to see any blockbuster movie. Instead, wait a few months and rent the DVD from a local store or buy it USED. If you want to see a big name game or event, then watch it in a local bar, club, or at home on network TV. Don’t buy any high end official merchendise and don’t support the high end sponsors. If its endorsed by a big name celebrity, then don’t buy it. If you can afford a new car, then make an exception for GM, Ford, and Dodge. If they don’t increase their market share soon, then a lot more people are going to get screwed out of their pensions and/or benefits. Of course, you must know by now to avoid those big trucks and SUVs unless you truly need one for its intended purpose. Don’t be ashamed to buy a foreign car if you prefer it. Afterall, those with the most fuel efficient vehicles consume a lot less foreign oil. Which accounts for a pretty big chunk of our trade deficit. Anyway, the global economy is worth supporting to some extent. Its the obscene profit margins, trade deficits, and BS from OPEC that get us into trouble. Otherwise, the global economy would be a good thing for everyone. Just keep in mind that the big 3 are struggling and they do produce a few smaller reliable cars. Don’t frequent any high end department store or any business in a newly developed upper class community. By doing so, you make developers richer and draw support away from industrial areas and away from the middle class communities. Instead, support the local retailer and the less popular shopping centers. Especially in lower or middle class communities. If you can afford to buy a home, then do so. But go smaller and less expensive. Don’t get yourself in too deep and don’t buy into the newly developed condos or gated communities. Instead, find a modest home in a building or neighborhood at least 20 years old. If you live in one of the poorer states, then try to support its economy first and foremost. Be on the lookout for commercial brainwash plots on TV. They are written into nearly every scene of nearly every show. Most cater to network sponsors and parent companies. Especially commercial health care. Big business is fine on occasion depending on the profit margins and profit sharing. Do your homework. If you want to support any legitimate charity, then do so directly. Never support any celebrity foundation. They spend most of their funding on PR campaigns, travel, and high end accomodations for themselves. Instead, go to and look up a top rated charity to support your favorite cause. In general, support the little guy as much as possible and the big guy as little as possible. Do your part to reverse the transfer of wealth away from the rich and back to the middle and lower classes. Unfortunately, there is no perfect answer. Jobs will be lost either way. Innocent children will starve and die either way. But we need to support the largest group of workers with the most reasonable profit margins. We also need to support LEGITIMATE charities (Check that list at This is our only chance to limit the severity and/or duration of the comming US/global depression. In the meantime, don’t listen to Bernanke, Paulson, Bartiromo, Orman, Dobbs, Kramer, OReiley, or any other public figure with regard to the economy. They are all plenty smart but I swear to you that they will lie right through their rotten teeth. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. These people work for big business. The ‘experts’ they cite also work for big business. They are all motivated by their desire to accumulate more wealth. THEY WILL LIE RIGHT THROUGH THEIR ROTTEN TEETH. So don’t fall for their tricks. Instead, look at the big picture. The economic problems we face have been mounting for well over 20 years. All of them caused or aggrivated by a constant transfer of wealth from poorer to richer. Soon, it will cause the first ever GLOBAL DEPRESION. Its not brain surgery. Its simple math. Like I said, you are welcome to run this by any professor of economics or socio-economics. If thats not good enough, then look up what Einstein had to say about greed, extreme wealth, and its horrible concequences. I speak the truth. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL.

Its already underway. A massive campaign to divert our attention. Trump, Buffet, OReiley, Dobbs, Pickens, Norris, and several other well known filthy rich public figures have been running their mouths about the economy. Finally admitting a hint of severity after almost 2 years of denial. They even have the nerve to acknowledge the possibility of a US/global depression. Still, they refuse to acknowledge the single greatest underlying cause. Remember: Our national debt was way up BEFORE sub-prime. Consumer debt was way up BEFORE sub-prime. The cost of living was up BEFORE sub-prime. Wall Street profits were obscene BEFORE sub-prime. The middle class were loosing free and clear assets BEFORE sub-prime. Our infrastructure was in bad shape BEFORE sub-prime. Loans from China were taken out BEFORE sub-prime. The dollar was loosing value BEFORE sub-prime. So don’t let these cowardly filthy rich public figures divert your attention or limit your range of thought. THE CURRENT ECONOMIC CRISIS WAS NOT CAUSED BY A SINGLE POLICY OR PROCEDURE. IT WAS CAUSED PRIMARILY BY A MASSIVE TRANSFER OF WEALTH FROM POOR TO RICH. THIS ALSO REPRESENTS A MASSIVE CONCENTRATION OF CAPITAL WORLDWIDE. OTHERWISE, THERE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SUCH A MARKET FOR SUB-PRIME AND THERE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A GLOBAL CREDIT CRUNCH. MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES AND IT DOES NOT JUST FLOAT AWAY. IT ONLY TRANSFERS FROM ONE PARTY TO ANOTHER. ALBERT EINSTEIN TRIED TO MAKE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL.

A word for those who respond with the usual ‘I know more than you. Look how smart, knowledgable, and articulate I am’ crap. Let me say this in advance. I don’t claim to be an expert in this field. But I did go on record with these predictions long before any public figure uttered the word ‘recession’. If you search long enough, you will find my early postings from ‘05′ and ‘06′. Including the first draft of this rant. Since then, I’ve gone on record against people like Greenspan, Bernanke, and Paulson. So far, my predictions have been accurate. Like I said. This is not brain surgery. For the mostpart, its simple math. When you concentrate the world’s wealth, you also concentrate its capital and shrink the middle class along with the potential market for every major industry. Homes go unsold. Bills go unpaid. Banks fail. More products go unsold. Jobs are lost. More banks fail. and so on. and so on. It happened 80 years ago. It will happen again. This time on a global scale. Throughout the cycle, the rich will tighten their grip. Concentrating the world’s wealth and resources even further and ensuring the collapse of every major economy worldwide. Think it can’t happen? Think again. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL.

Another thing. I don’t want credit for any of this. Otherwise, I would have given my full name a long time ago. As far as I’m concerned, you can put this rant in your own words and take credit for all of it. I don’t care. Just spread the word. Otherwise, the greatest injustice of all time will go down in history unchecked.

By the way. The bailout won’t work. IT WON’T WORK. The plan fails to address the fundamental problem. The middle class don’t need more credit. They need a reasonable share of the economic pie. They also need a lower cost of living and a chance to catch their breath. They need a break from all of the psychological marketing tricks and mass market BS. Most of all, they need to wake up and see the truth. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL.

To my surprise, two public figures have found the courage to acknowledge this problem to some degree. On 11.07.07 former presidential candidate Ron Paul mentioned the massive transfer of wealth from poor to rich. He also hinted at the possibility of economic collapse. He did so on 'Face the Nation'. He was blacklisted almost immediately for doing so. On 9.28.08 former secretary of labor Robert Reich refered to the obscene levels of income inequality as part of a "recipe for disaster". He mentioned the richest one percent in particular. He did so on 'Late Night With Conan OBrien'. As far as I know, Albert Einstein was the first to explain the link between extreme wealth and economic instability. He did so in 1949. He explained how the first Great Depression was actually caused by a massive transfer of wealth from poor to rich. He predicted that it would happen again. We are about to witness the first ever GLOBAL DEPRESSION. Amazing. The prosperity of an entire world is about to be compromised. Almost entirely because of greed. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Anonymous, everything you've written is absolutely true and very important. Pickens, though, was on this theme much earlier than you give him credit for. What you've written about Ron Paul is correct.

I know economics and finance very well and I agree with what you've written for the most part.

My problem with the laundry list is how narrow it is. You have left off some rather important issues: the continual wars, the system of domestic social control through the redundant security apparati and the criminal "justice" system in the USA, the tax-exempt status of organized religion.

Basically, if the military, cops, prosecutors, the death penalty, incarceration of children with adults, political prisoners at GITMO and your religion are sacred cows for you, then the rant is doggie-doo.

I also notice no reference to the need for high-quality single-payer health care, anti-discrimation law with teeth, and the right to food, clothing, shelter, subsidized public education through the Bachelor's level, and collective bargaining.

I notice no reference to the freedoms to choose what one does with one's body. I notice no reference to rights to abortion, contraception and privacy.

"The Rich" may indirectly benefit from such things and the lack of other such things but these are bottom-up, not top-down American psychopathologies.

Americans don't get back from their labor and taxes what the rest of the developed world gets because Americans don't want it. I guess. That would seem illogical, though.

Ellen DeGeneres or Alex Rodriguez may not be the most perfectly politically self-actualized people on earth but they are in a whole other category than that of Colin Powell, Michael Mukasey, John McCain, Bill Frist, Robert Mueller, Michael Chertoff and whichever officer of the church ministers to you yourself.

I want desperately to think otherwise but it's quite possible that Americans like it fine the way it is. It would be different otherwise. The majority of people are not rich. How can a tiny minority oppress a large majority so effectively without the collaboration and concession of the majority?

America was settled by the bone-craziest religious freaks in England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales who arrived about one step ahead of the Crown Court which took a very unfavorable view of those "pilgrims'" rather violent practice of extremist Christianity.

Your American South and coal-country was settled by the undesirables the British no longer wanted to keep its gaols.

Just like when a politically-motivated move to "screw" Castro by accepting all of the Marielitos from the maximum security prisons and insane asylums was implemented, you had a ten-year civil war in South Florida over drugs and guns. Yet, your country persecutes law-abiding productive, intelligent Central Americans legal or illegal.

I think that there was a historical bifurcation in the USA. Great luck in having 30 of the greatest legal minds in human history in Philadelphia at the same time. Bad luck that those same framers of the constitution came from among a population of the worst of the worst.

So, at the man said, "what is to be done?"

I'm not calling you a "socialist," because I know what a "socialist" is and your words don't reflect "socialist" philosophy. They reflect American populist philosophy. For that reason, I don't think you are suggesting "revolution" or "smashing the state" or anything like that. Your analysis is deep enough that you must be aware that you couldn't have a revolution in the United States because the only warm bodies who'd be available to fight it are the same warm bodies who reject single-payer health care and go to church all the time and love war so long as it has a CNN avatar and theme music and ADORE THE DEATH PENALTY.

I don't think you want revolution, anyway because again going by the many fine points you make, you have to know that to be a successful revolutionary you have to be willing to kill a child in cold blood at the drop of a hat and think nothing of it.

So, again "what is to be done?"

That is a question Americans are going to have to answer for themselves.

I live in South America and we have a whole different way of perceiving priorities.

Randal Graves said...

kelso, you might be a bit more optimistic about the young guys this season than I am, but given that Novotny received playing time last year - I was going to say something about Modin, but I'm sure he'll, like Tyutin, will get hurt again - so they won't have to bear too much burden before they're ready. I like Huselius too and you figure he's going to want to show that he doesn't need Iginla to produce.

People say the West is loaded, and the top six or so might be, but the Northwest is so even that they'll just beat up on each other and perhaps we can grab one of those last couple of playoff spots. Hope you're right!

utah, great, great flick.

okjimm, just the season preview my man. But if you want, I can give a recap of all 82 Blue Jackets games.

candace, that's why I post 'em. You know us lefty types try to be nice to everyone.

kelso, thanks for covering that and saying what needed to be said far better than I ever could.

How can a tiny minority oppress a large majority so effectively without the collaboration and concession of the majority?

Yep. A legitimately revolutionary spirit simply will not take root here. You'll see a complete collapse before that ever happens.

Freida Bee said...

Ok, the clown drew me in. THe snark kept me there. I could even tell it was turning to sports and you had me until I saw the words Columbus Blue Jackets and just had to laugh.

I want to write hockey team names.

The Boise Blue Balls
The Idaho Ice Sheaths
Pittsburg's Own Premature Ejaculators
The Colorado Cock Teasers

Wait, Austin has the Icebats. I'll shut up.

American Hill BIlly said...

Hey, now that we can have gun toten Palin as the VEEP, we can have her shoot the 90 year old ladies. Instead of them committing suicide, Palin can save their eternal soul by killing them! Ah Gawd!! Just sick.

United In Peace And Freedom