I'm sure many of you remember when I wrote about the Border Patrol SUV parked outside a downtown Cleveland hotel for a few days.
"Of course they do, that's the one time you didn't dull the purple pain of your banal, oh so banal prose with a picture of a scantily-clad lady."
Shut up, brain or I'll stab you to death with a Q-tip. Anyway, thanks to those communist Muslim fundamentalist Nazis over at the ACLU, I recently found out why it was here: I'm living in a Constitution-Free Zone®! Sure, it's fascist, left-wing propaganda, but check out this cool map!
One of my classmates spent a couple of semesters a few years back up in Quebec studying the life and habitat of the nearest frog enclave, and he said that he received far more grief both to-and-fro on the Murkan side of the fence than from the gentle Canadian hippies. Probably didn't help that he's a brother; you know how they are, been plotting to bring down the government for decades.
Oh well, at least I've got nothing to hide. Long ago I learned my lesson, and thus keep my porn, weed and out-of-state fruits and vegetables in my basement next to the meth lab and S&M dungeon.
One more thing. I don't like being disappointed in my fellow Murkans, really I don't, as it pains me more than my posts pain you, but this is just silly. Moviefone.com recently ran a poll for our favorite movie pretzeldent and I can't believe Han Solo tore down the voting wall when there was such an obvious, nay, duh, choice.
America, there you go again.
Wait. The 1980s weren't a movie?