Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I've got it all mapped out

I love maps, and I don't mean those of the electoral vote variety. Those make me want to vomit in terror. Thankfully, I'm not alone in this regard for those who wish to record the various topographical features of the earth and the impact of homo sapiens, rarely for the better, usually for the worse, upon this world.

Start appreciating, because it's Cartographer Appreciation Day. And before any of you smartasses chime in with childish screams of "they made that shit up!" just remember that every holiday that has ever existed, religious and/or secular, was originally made up by some dude, chick or group of dudes and chicks in power with the express purpose of having an excuse to sacrifice something or someone, eat it, wash it down with fermented beverages, run to the vomitorium, rinse and repeat before closing with a nightcap consisting of a naked sex orgy.

Despite this being from a school in Texas, the Perry-Castañeda Library Map Collection at UT-Austin -- FB, think you can get Florence Joe to steal some of the good ones for your old pal Randal? -- is chock full of groovery, especially of the yellowed, crumbly variety, but also vital, up-to-date maps of famous cities such as the one below. As always, click to embiggen to see the details.


La Belette Rouge said...

As it turns out I actually know a cartographer. Seriously. So, I will do my best to appreciate him---but I will do it from a distance or he will explain the political nature of maps and show me 20 different versions of a map of Lithuania and explain how the Pope was responsible for this map and then my legs will lose their ability to hold me up and I will melt like a tired and cranky toddler and start whimpering and whining.

Frederick said...

Like maps, eh? Try strange maps, if you haven't already.

Sal Kilmister said...

Randal- Thanks for spreading the word on this important day. I am really upset that I don't get this holiday off from work and thus cannot spend as much time blogging about it as I'd like to -or hugging cartographers for that matter :(

But Hell: Happy Cartographer Appreciation Day!!!

And you never responded about the name of that model from yesterday's post. Do you know it?

MRMacrum said...

Ditto what Frederick said. I have "strange maps" linked from my blog and I check them out on a regular basis. I like their BaY area map made by putting your hands together in a certain way. Why you may ask? Jeez, I dunno, I just think it is cool is all.

I am a confirmed map guy for sure. I have over 100 maps of many cities and towns in this country and Canada. I used them religiously during my long haul trucking days. Screw GPS satelite dependent google this google that. Give me a map and a compass and leave me the Hell alone.

My old college roomate graduated from college as a cartographer. Went to work for the US gov't and did secret map stuff for years. Now he is winding down his gov't career updating many of the US geological maps.

DCup said...

I love looking at maps. I used to read the National Geographic for the maps. Really!

afeatheradrift said...

Oh maps are neat. The Contrarian is a huge fan of them, and always points out my deficiency in said medium. We have a National Geographic map of da world right over the computer monitor on the wall, cept of course, you can't really see the small stuff, and it's always about the small stuff right? I mean trivia is never about what is the continent where Kenya is. LOL.

DivaJood said...

Who knew? I love maps as well, especially antique, hand drawn, beautifully illustrated maps. They are works of art.

And they are very useful when you are trying to get somewhere.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, so I shouldn't send you an invite to the Amateur Cartographer's Roundtable?

frederick, I have not, so thanks for the link!

sal, I figure if Homer can get a day off for the Feast of Maximum Occupancy, we should get off for this, no?

The woman who will someday be my wife is Alessandra Ambrosio from the land of the Supermodels.

mrmacrum, damn kids and their GPS and doodads and thingamajigs. But seriously, I'd much rather get around the old school way, seems more visceral. And besides, it's not like you're surveying the land to where fancy technology would prove beneficial. Unless you are, then I apologize.

Secret map stuff, huh? Think he can divulge where exactly The Undisclosed Location is?

dcup, oh, the maps are definitely the best part of NG these days, especially since they don't show as many boobies as they used to. Prudes.

afeatheradrift, if that was a shot at dear Senator McCain, then I'm insulted. Of course he knows that Kenya is in Australia. Everyone knows that.

diva, those are the best kinds. You can keep your bloody accuracy!

Here's a little tip: x always marks the spot.

okjimm said...

Old maps are cool. At one time I had several old road travel maps, states, from the 1930's; I always thought those were neat. Old globes were neat, too.....I used to have several when I was a serious collector..... of stuff. Alas, those days are gone.

Border Explorer said...

//"...sacrifice something or someone, eat it, wash it down with fermented beverages, run to the vomitorium, rinse and repeat before closing with a nightcap consisting of a naked sex orgy."//

...predicting a veritable plethora of Google hits here for this big holiday.

Non, Je ne regrette rien said...

is there a hallmark card for this?

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, oh yeah, old globes. I remember having one that even had raising topography; rolling hills, mountains.

BE, I don't know, I heard the internets is full of filthy stuff, I'm not sure I can compete, no matter how many times I mention naked sex orgy naked sex orgy naked sex orgy.

JNRR, there should be dammit. This day has far more merit than that bullshit "Sweetest Day." People are always using maps. Love already has one day, it doesn't need two.

Übermilf said...

I just thought of a really vulgar comment to make about giving guys maps to the female reproductive system but I'm not that kind of commenter.

Utah Savage said...

So what's a PDA?

And Ubermilf owes the world such a map--we'd all be so much happier if the men in our lives had a pretty map of the female reproductive system and it was well illustrated and had comments like "This is where you find PDA."

Dean Wormer said...

Cartographer Appreciation Day seems to come earlier every year. The decorations are already up at the department stores.

There are rumors that it's going to be replaced with GPS Appreciation Day.

ThoughtCriminal said...

Hey - I'm a Cartographer! Thanks for the swell holiday.

Here there be Dragons!

Hill said...

Nekkid sex orgy?

That got my attention.


p.s. I love maps, too. And just for tonight, I'm boycotting looking at any electoral maps. They thrill me and terrify me at the same time.

It's just NES (Near Election Sickness).

Just a few more days, baby, just a few more.


Kvatch said...

Despite this being from a school in Texas, the Perry-Castañeda Library Map Collection at UT-Austin -- FB,

Hey... I'm a UT alum as well, but I got no pull, unfortunately.

The Cunning Runt said...

Thank God for maps!

Otherwise we wouldn't have the Gare de l'Est to keep the Zombies away from the Drunk Tourists.

Spartacus said...

Randal, I'm a map lover, too. Must be something viral. But I have a particular fondness for maps that actually help me get somewhere. ;^)

Tom Harper said...

I was wondering what holiday today was. Thanks for clearing that up for me. Happy Cartographer Appreciation Day.

susan said...

I'll never forget the time we had AAA maps spread out all over the floor while planning our drive out here. Suddenly, I realized all those tiny places had a McDonalds. It was the only time maps scared me.

Our Juicy Life said...

I also love maps. Here in our house we have a huge map of southwest france, the departments of Aveyron, Tarn, Lot, Tarn-et-garonne, Gers, etc....with a little black dot showing where we are. We map out our bike rides and look at new villages we want to visit.

S.W. Anderson said...

Randal wrote: ". . .group of dudes and chicks in power with the express purpose of having an excuse to sacrifice something or someone, eat it, wash it down with fermented beverages, run to the vomitorium, rinse and repeat before closing with a nightcap consisting of a naked sex orgy."

Sheesh, Randal, that's not history, it's current events. You obviously attended, or at least observed, that recent and much-publicized expensive resort gathering of AIG executives.

okjimm said...

hey, what Ubermilf said,
'giving guys maps to the female reproductive system '..

gees, it might be a good deal....but you would need to include a 'timer' so the guy reading the map would know 'when' to go south....

pissed off patricia said...

Damn, I'm a day late. I could have decorated that cake easily since the top of a cake is flat and so is the earth. It is, isn't it?

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, oh go right ahead, I'm sure the men besides me would need one.

Glad my sometimes-better-half isn't around to see that comment.

utah, Personal Data Assistant. Young lovers are always losing those near la Tour Eiffel.

dean, I hear ya. I haven't even decorated my Mercator projection yet!

GPS? Damn kids and their new-fangled thingamajigs.

thoughtcriminal, then a toast to you, sir!

hill, I'm glad someone appreciates the naked sex orgy sentiment.

NES? Nintendo Entertainment System?

kvatch, of course you don't, look at the raging commie pinko you've become.

TCR, I pity the poor gendarmes who have to haul away the de-brained tourists. Messy work.

spartacus, you make it sound like getting lost in the middle of nowhere is a bad thing. ;-)

tom, I hope you got a paid holiday for it.

susan, oh yeah, I remember those when we did our family trip to DC back in 84. America's largest employer I believe. Or at least it used to be.

OJL, exactly how maps should be used, so I hope you aren't planning on invading the Var via velo. Say that five times fast.

SWA, you know, recalling the visage of some of these executives, I believe you have now ruined my morning. Thank you, sir.

okjimm, and that the trip has to last longer than two minutes.

POP, I've never fallen off the edge of the world.

Betty C. said...

I was going to leave you the "Strange Maps" link too, but I see someone beat me to it. I'm still popping in to say hello, though.