Saturday, October 18, 2008

Oh, Ohio

In trying to come up with today's post, always a difficult prospect when following visceral emotion with political garbage -- wouldn't it be great if we weren't lured to write about this fuckery? -- I did what I often do, scour the internets newsies for something to catch my eye so I can add stupid pictures and unfunny comments my own in-depth take from a fresh angle.

So, upon reading this sordid tale about taxpayer loot and implants for strippers, I thought of Mayor Quimby's beloved quote: "Very well, then. Instead of fleeing this town, I'll sit back and grow fat off kickbacks and slush funds!" Okay, Randal, go look for a suitable shot of the man himself.

Wow, I'm smrt.

Well played, Minnesota, well played.

I see your McCarthy and raise you a cracker.

Oops, it was for Halloween, bien sûr. Don't forget your candy!

Man, Murka 2009 is gonna be comedy gold.

See, I didn't even try et voilà, a post. Told you I'm fucking smrt.


Bubs said...

What's round on both ends and "hi" in the middle? Ohio. And evidently that middle is chock-full of corruption, craziness and hatred? Whew. I know Ohio generates a lot of illegally owned alligator stories, but this is more than I'd bargained for.

Missy said...

It does just sort of write itself, don't it?

I hate that smile on Michelle's face. Those frozen blue eyes. Nazi!

DivaJood said...

I've given you some awards. Come on down.

Übermilf said...

Josephine McCarthy aside, I would like to address the cross issue.

I am a Halloween fanatic. Fall is my favorite time of year. I start planning my Halloween decorating theme and costumes and parties and such in the middle of summer. You could ask my husband.

As a self-proclaimed Halloween expert, I am here to tell you: a cross, charred or otherwise, is not a Halloween decoration.

I am prepared to testify in court if necessary, with proof dating back to the early 1990's of my Halloween decorating expertise.

Randal Graves said...

bubs, I've lived here my entire life. How come I've never seen any illegally-owned alligators? I think you're a liar, a filthy, filthy liar!

missy, she's a first class lunatic and it's frightening that people - I use the term loosely - are going to vote for her.

diva, closest without going over? $801!

I am a Halloween fanatic. Fall is my favorite time of year.
I knew there was a reason I didn't send Michelle Bachman to your house for trick or treating.

The only time a cross is okay is if it's an upside down one and you're going for an Anton Lavey motif with pentagrams - yes, wiccans, I know it's a yay! symbol, mellow out - goats - go away, Mickey Kaus! - and such.


Utah Savage said...

Wait a minute. I gave you those same awards. Diva is a copy cat or else I am.

Tom Harper said...

Oh, what's the matter with a couple of good ol' boys having fun with taxpayers' money? As they say, you have to spend money to make money.

At least this tax money didn't go towards helping needy people with their mortgages and medical expenses. That of course would be Socialism.

Katie Schwartz said...

You're a hard man not to adore. No pun intended.

"I see your McCarthy and raise you a cracker" - FUCKIN FABULOUS.

Dusty said...

I echo Katie's sentiments...both of them ;)

Randal Graves said...

utah, you two should duke it out with creative works.

tom, don't even get me started on socialism. I'm so sick and tired of seeing welfare queens driving around town in their Cadillacs. Sure, they might have been CEOs, but I doubt it.

katie, these crackers give crackers like Ritz a bad name. Or those little goldfish you put in tomato soup? Delicious!

dusty, but I'm not retyping my comment! ;-)

KELSO'S NUTS said...


Whenever I'm stuck for a topic, I can always depend on getting really scalded nuts by reading any of these columnists: ANDREW SULLIVAN, DAVID BROOKS, DAVID BRODER, THOMAS FRIEDMAN OR MAUREEN DOWD.

As Hot Dot said many moons ago, "that's not's typing"

S.W. Anderson said...

I usually avoid anything that could be interpreted as promoting violence. However, I have to share my idea for dealing with that guy with the cross, the lighter fluid and the stupid excuse about getting ready for Halloween. He should be crucified by someone getting ready for Easter.

DivaJood said...

Nah, I copied Utah on this one. But I figured I had to give you extra awards because I can't pay you anything more.

Border Explorer said...

Merka '09 might be comedy gold if we last that long.

susan said...

Am I having an Armchair Revolution moment?

Randal Graves said...

kelso, though accurate, trying to sell a source of posting as giving one scalded nuts isn't much of a pitch. ;-)

SWA, why do you hate Halloween? You must be a racist or something. Jack o' lanterns and crackers are people too.

diva, you pay me far too much as it is. I'm thinking about buying another house.

BE, oh I think we will. If all the closet McVeighs blow everything up, what's left to hate?

susan, I have those all the time. Of course, all I own is a baseball bat and a pen, and I'm not convinced that my esteemed Senator Voinovich can read anything but lizard.

Liberality said...

Chrissie Hynde said it best "Oh, way to go Ohio."

disa said...

I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.