Thursday, October 16, 2008

Joe the Plumber and the Curious Georgian

"Oh, if only Barack Hussein X hadn't stolen all my money and gave it to ACORN, I'd have a successful small business!"


"Curious Georgian!"

"My friends, we are all still Georgians!"

"Curious Georgian, can you help me with my small business?"

"My friends, when I was being a maverick --

-- just look at my record of bipartisanship -- Barack Hussein Osama was plotting Afrocentristical brainwashing in William Ayers' living room."

"Damn, where's Barry and Billy? We've got to start indoctrinating!"

"I bet he doesn't know anything about Colombia, either!"

"He's never even been south of the border!"

"Curious Georgian, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I bet he doesn't even know how to use a plunger!"

"This is what the American people think of your plumbing policy, Barack Hussein X!"


FranIAm said...

Barack Hussein Obama- American dream crusher.

Joe the plumber. Not even registered to vote and ends with a 'bacher and not a 'burger.

Distributorcap said...

you 'crack' me up


Sal Kilmister said...

Franiam- Is that true about J.T.P. not being registered to vote?

Does anyone else think the that J.T.P. looks an awful lot like the wicked father from Mallrats?

Randal Graves said...

fran, why do you hate the small business man? Oh, that's right, you're the commissar of ACORN!

dcap, boo hiss hiss! That was uncalled for!

sal, tell 'em, Steve-Dave!

Spartacus said...

I loved the JTP reference. But let's flip McCain's reference on his head. What if he was able to buy his business? Then what? Is it likely he's hire other plumbers at the prevailing wage. Is it likely he would fund a 401k plan or a health care package? No and no. Moreover, JTP would cease to JTP and become "the man"... Lord of the manor.

MRMacrum said...

Who among us has never suffered the same embarrassment of Joe the Plumber. To exploit this no butt weakness found in most real men is below the belt IMO. We are cursed by genetic predisposition to suffer from this and you make light of it. I would be indignant and pound the table with my one good hand, but it is currently employed elsewhere......................holding my pants up to hide my shameful and unfortunate birth defect. I suppose you are one of the lucky ones who has been blessed with "bubble butt". Damn you libs and your clothes that always behave. I'm voting for McCain now. See what you have done with your elitist liberal "cracks".

Christopher said...

Lovely picture of Michelle Obama!

She will be a splendid First Lady and a stark contrast to the country simple Pickles Bush.

Joe the Plumber. Well, you know what Whitney Houston said:

"Crack is whack!"

Jess Wundrun said...

I might know a thing or two about running a plumbing business and I can tell you that Joe's biggest concern is not higher taxes under Obama. It is the price of putting gas in the van and the price of healthcare.

Übermilf said...

What this country needs is "The Ballad of Joe the Plumber," by one Mr. Charlie Daniels.

La Belette Rouge said...

Joe the plumber, John the Maverick Sara the lipsticked pig, and the mighty Acorn. It was a story for children's and it is a story that put me to sleep. I do think the story made John tired too. He kept blinking. I do that when I am tired.

Dean Wormer said...


McCain was saying "brainnnnssss!" in that photo.

Trivia: Joe the Plumber was originally going to be Tony the Adult Bookstore Owner, but they went with Joe instead.

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, um, you're ruining the mavericky narrative, please stop.

mrmacrum, now you have me feeling all guilty and such. I will find a way to rectify this unintended slight at Joe, um, Hamburger or whatever the common man is called today.

christopher, oh, like you're not going to miss the hypnotizin', pill-poppin' Gaze of Death of Pickles just a little bit.

jess, um, Joe will have less gas and less health care because he's paying more in taxes that go to Cadillac welfare queens!

übermilf, The Plumber Went Down to Georgia!

LBR, okay, we really need to write this book. There simply aren't enough political books for children and we can do something about it!

dean, "they're coming to get you, Obama..."

Betcha the RNC took Tony's donation though. There's a place near here, Tony's Deli. Sign said under new management. Now, since it's ostensibly the deli of Tony, do they go out and find another Tony?

Border Explorer said...

I skipped the debate. Is Joe the Plumber pissed off cuz the toilet got plugged up with a bunch of ACORNS?

DivaJood said...

Joe the Plumber is really Joe Sixpack with a name change. Nice moon, though.

Randal Graves said...

BE, you ever try to unclog a bunch of greedy minorities and poor people with the power to bring down the banking system all by themselves stuck in a toilet? Ain't easy!

diva, I wanted to sexy up the blog a bit.

okjimm said...

// The Plumber Went Down to Georgia!//

What? The Plumber went down on Georgia? Georgia who? Oh, my..... I thought this was a Manson Family Blog..... oh the shame, the pain!

Utah Savage said...

I love the sight of any man kneeling and exposing his ass. Joe, Bob, Dick, I don't care, just bend over and get busy with those tools. No license? Who gives a shit, can you fix that drip or not? And I will be getting a discount since you aren't a union member.

Liberality said...

I must have missed his "aackk" face or is it his "I'm-gagging-on-how-bad-I-am" face? WTF is wrong with him? Can't he just act normal for an hour or two without twitching, getting all red faced and splotchy, batting his eyelids like crazy, or looking like he's about to explode?

Beach Bum said...

What was freaking me out about McCain was that his eye blinking in Morse Code was saying: "Help me, I've made a poopy in my diaper."

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Your crack fueled posts frighten me.

susan said...

Thanks. I was 30 seconds away from posting that last picture myself when I decided to visit you. You've saved my reputation.

I also learned today Joe the Plumber is related to Charles Keating. It's a weird world, innit?

S.W. Anderson said...

Olbermann completely deconstructed Joe's hastily concocted or assumed, or fantasized image this evening.

The guy isn't a plumber, isn't trying to buy a business and made $42,000 last year. So, he would be a winner under Obama's tax plan. But that would be if Joe actually paid taxes. Apparently he doesn't, or at least not what he owes.

Next week we learn first dude Todd Palin is secretly an arms salesman catering to the Mideast trade. Some of his first customers were people he met at a Ramada Inn in Chicago, immediately after B. Hussein O. had held his first campaign announcement meeting there.

Meanwhile, a computer game outfit signs William Ayers to endorse and do commercials for a new game that gives players the chance to blow up stuff like McCain's seven homes, the Palins' house from which you can't really see Russia, the Pentagon and — ta da! — Joe the Plumber's place!

Tom Harper said...

Joe the Plumber is searching frantically for those Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"They told me 'under the sink' dammit!"

okjimm said...

ok, joe six pack, joe the plumber, joe camel, joe doe, cup-a-joe, joe-blow...... I'm ready for a Fred

DivaJood said...

Okedoke, now I remember where I saw that picture of McCain before. Sec. of Strawberries has borrowed it today.

Candace said...

After watching the last debate, I now have to have a BLINKY/WINKY '08 bumper sticker!

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, you should hear my unreleased album of murderous folk standards!

utah, I knew making this blog more sexified would please everyone!

liberality, I had to show my kids the slideshow at Yahoo of this, er, yahoo. They, like their old man, were in stiches. See, unlike Chimpy, McPOW is a uniter.

BB, yeah, what the hell was that about? Get the man some Visine!

UC, me too, which is why this one was only fueled by hash. Browns.

susan, I could never permit you to deface your arty place with such blasphemy, so if you wish to highlight such visual freakery, let me know, and I'll post it.

To Keating? Really?

SWA, the bulk of your comment is done in humor, but what's frightening is that none of it would really be all that surprising, knowing how these jokers operate. Well, maybe not the Ayers thing; he's in the ivory tower, perhaps he brings down nations with mind-numbing lectures on postmodern theories!

tom, they were...but were then stolen by ACORN who wish to blow up the Silent Majority!

okjimm, Fred Schneider for pretzeldent!

Why am I using so many exclamation points!

diva, now your blog is dirtied with such filth. Only Alan can save you now!

candace, isn't Blinky, aside from being a Pac-Man ghost, one of the aliens/creatures/whatever from Teletubbies? Now THAT would be funny.

dguzman said...

Bravo, Randal!

DCup said...

I just want to slide a carpenter's pencil down that crack.

susan said...

Thanks, I'll take you up on that.. and, yes, really..

Non, Je ne regrette rien said...

Barack HUSSEIN Obama??!! But he said his middle name was STEVE!!

aHA! He IS a big commie pinko lying elitist messiah wannabe!

Katie Schwartz said...

Oh, that is so funny. I have to say, McCain's mini-arms creep me out and he really looks corpsey to me. He's soooo one-foot-on-the-peel.

Love Joe the Plumber, he's an exercise in fucktardaree. If McCain really thought referencing him as much as he did would help him, he's an even bigger douche than we thought.

KELSO'S NUTS said...


The more I think about that Colombia business the more it cracks me up. Your 2007 Oscar winning title sums that country up for Walnuts: NO PLACE FOR OLD MEN

It is so funny on so many levels that he stepped to Obama with that.

Obama has one of the most aristocratic and patrician demeanors in all of American politics. He doesn't feign "street."

Cartagena is about the only place in the whole country that is OLD-MAN FRIENDLY.

It's no place for old men because despite it being a pretty wealthy, sophisticated place, mostly European in the big cities, even upper-middle class people don't think they'll live much past 45 because of the violence. There is no place in the world that hates guns more than Colombia because everybody has a 9mm pistol with them and at home it's psychopathic. Cut shotgun, Uzis, grenades, semtex...

Go to the Jewish part of Medellin or Cali. Really nice houses behind coils of razor wire with snipers on the roof. The mothers and fathers give the kids their guns at age 12 or something and tell them if they see someone in a uniform or camouflage or military khaki just shoot him.

By the time rich Jewish kids have been bar-mitzvah they've seen their fathers and brothers shot in front of them or blown to bits by a car bomb. They're perfectly nice kids except they're affectless. They go on as if they're going to live to 80 but don't expect to see 40. A teenager like that sees a para-military near his house he'll blow the guy's head off and go into the house do his homework, have a bagel, listen to the White Stripes, fart around on MySpace with his friends, play Madden '08 and think nothing of it, because a couple of the guys minding the house will have dropped the para's body into lime pit in the backyard.

Paramilitary in a Jewish neighborhood? Nothing good can come out of that unless someone kills the guy.

And families like that aren't even narcotraficantes. They manage money for them or do criminal defense.

McCain gave a speech last May and said when he was president he was going to quarter 100,000 men in Colombia to invade Venezuela and "take out" Chavez. Is he mad? GI Joe The Plumber is going to quarter in a Colombian home? Be like a street in Belfast 20 years ago. They have the mailbox and garbage cans loaded with semtex and as GI Joe The Plumbers arrive some 16 year old girl with body piercings listening to Amy Winehouse calls her brother whose on the 5th fairway. He takes another phone out of his golf slacks dials a number and boom-boom GI Joe The Plumber soup.

And the Colombian Conservative Party government like the US Republicans. It's just the Colombian people who hate them. How are they supposed to make it over the mountains into Venezuela where they'd have to fight an 800,000 man army?

Walnuts is truly insane. The problem is that Obama has been a bit too lippy about the whole thing, too.

Freida Bee said...

Ya had me with the plumber's crack.