Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Randal's Comely Cotillion of Unpleasant Crackery and Angry Brotherhood

















I told you there'd be a fancy shindig this week. Now let us present ourselves to society with our swankiest finery and drollery that is also so very, um, fine.


















"Fine like the grains ona mirr, heh heh!"

Oh, the first one of you who fails to swear gets permanently banned.













"I will FUCK shit up!"


















"That one is so uppity. I will fuck SHIT up! Like a damn hell ass king!"

Remember kids, I'm at work, so you'll have to do the toking and drinking for me. And if Schieffer asks McPOW a Dukakis -- as likely as me being voted Most Handsome Blogger -- you have to drink the entire bottle.

And don't lie to me, I've got your dwelling bugged.

22 comments:

Randal Graves said...

Frist!

Good, the Phillies are winning. Fuck you, Dodgers.

Distributorcap said...

i doubt with that polyester suit of yours you can win anything

LOL

go phillies!

Randal Graves said...

Never doubt the Power of Polyester!

Oooh, followups. Schieffer, you beast.

Randal Graves said...

Apparently, we're angry. Like the people at a McCain rally.

C'mon Johnny, mention ACORN.

Randal Graves said...

A plumber named Joe.

John is going to help him buy his business? Is he going to sell one of his houses?

Joe the Plumber. I hope they come up with an action figure.

Randal Graves said...

I heard all this shit last week. Why am I doing this? Come on work, gimme work.

Joe the Plumber!

Randal Graves said...

Class Warfare!

Pay your taxes, extra rich dudes.

Randal Graves said...

I'd eliminate the tariff on imported cheese.

Beach Bum said...

I'm sort of expecting McCain to melt down tonight. With McCain's obvious distaste of Obama the fact that he is leading in many states that were once thought of as safe red ones has to bug the shit out of him.

Randal Graves said...

He did just bring up ACORN. McFossil is fucking hilarious this evening.

La Belette Rouge said...

OMG, I had to come back to the internets. McCain and the Acorn and Joe the Plumber. It sounds like a children's book. Sara Palin is a role model for women? She, SP, is a "fresh of breath air" and that is a direct quote. SP understands special needs children better than any other American??? Randal,please, make it stop!! Must find booze....

Randal Graves said...

I'm so glad I'm at work, I'd be completely plastered right now.

It sounds like a children's book.

Now that's fucking funny. ;-)

Tom Harper said...

This is Joe the Plumber. John McSame speaks for me. You commie liberals want to redistribute my hard-earned money to those welfare parasites and pregnant minority sluts and create a nation of secular perverts.

Make no mistake, tonight's debate was the Gamechanger that McSongbird was looking for. Me and my fellow hotdog-eating blue-collar salt-of-the-earth workers are gonna elect the Maverick to the White House.

Candace said...

Randal for Prez.

No wait.

RANDAL FOR BEST-LOOKING BLOGGER!

(there's just something about eyepatches)

Randal Graves said...

tom, that was the funniest damn thing in any of these stupid faux debates. Joe the Plumber is my hero.

candace, that's no eyepatch, that's a monocle! Very classy, and if I'm about anything, it's class. The power of winking diminishes with it, though.

Spartacus said...

Ah fuck Randal. You know how I feel about using pooty-poo language. Why the fuck did you do that to me. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck... I feel like such Mooselini right now. Anyone got any lipstick. I'm feeling like a rabid pitbull on the loose.

Dean Wormer said...

Watched the first two but skipped last night's and watched Buffy (Oz finds out he's a werewolf and Xander's love spell) with the family.

I'm a better man for it.

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, anytime you feel the need to engage in some childish name calling, excessive vulgarities or out and out assholery, you're always welcome here!

dean, oh shit, the love spell episode is genius. Revenge, pure as the driven snow. But did it have Joe the Plumber? Didn't think so.

DivaJood said...

Sorry, late to this party. Tell Candace she needs to vote for Diva Jood. Randal, you are the most handsome, overpaid campaign manager I have. Did the Phillies win?

Randal Graves said...

Anyone with eloquence will be voting for you. For the record, I'm underpaid. Yes, they did, 5-1 and are off the World Serious.

Utah Savage said...

Well, I got too stoned to get out of bed, so, sorry I missed the party. But I did take notes for you slackers. Tengrain did a bang up job on last night's hilarious farce. Joe the Plumber is the man. I have Marlon Brando playing him at my place. Who would have thought Joe would read T.S. Eliot? But Joe's world is taking a decidedly Heart of Darkness turn.

Nice job of faking it Randal. You da man. And I never did tell you how damn cute you are in pale blue polyester.

DivaJood said...

I gave you tons of raises! My entire budget has gone to your salary. GO PHILLIES!