"Time to kick back, drink some
beers tea and smoke some weed work on ma présentation orale!"
Since it's the bye for my beloved bastards of brandishing buffoonery, I figured I'd do a little tubular hang ten in lieu of working myself up into a silent, testosterone-fueled internal frenzy. Don't worry, I'm still going to watch the non-Cleveland portion of the football schedule after the Man City/Liverpool soccer game -- take that, Old Europe!
You're welcome, fellow Murkan. Patriotism über alles!
Achtung! Das schützenfest sieben lieben, heh, heh!
Hey, get outta here, Nazi douchebag. Now, let's check the local, very heartlandy news, always mindnumbingly uninteresting. No, wait, this is eminently thrilling, captivating, even! I'm feeling Minnesota!
Fewer steel connectors on the Inner Belt Bridge than originally reported are severely deteriorated, but state engineers remain concerned and plan to do detailed tests.
Only two connectors, instead of 16, where the bridge's main truss meets the arch and the pier, cannot support the full weight on the bridge, according to data given Thursday to the Ohio Department of Transportation by Richland Engineering, which conducted the yearly inspection of the nearly 50-year-old span.
Nothing all that different from what other American cities are going through with their crumbling infrastructure, right? True, but the real gold lies in the riverbed of free speech.
Where are all the anti-Obama comments? After all, he's proposing spending on our roads and infrastructure.Read on, intrepid soul, read on.
Actually, Obama will tell us how this is Bush's fault, the bridge was fine until the last 8 years!!!! Maybe he can add a new bridge onto his trillion dollar spending spree.Lighten up, Francis. With your Ole Perfesser Singularity Black Ops Hover Technology, only effete, arugula-eating homersexuals ever die in a bridge collapse.
Obama will issue you a house,car and health care. Obama will determine your diet and make sure you watch state run television. OPRAH and MSNBC. Your kids will be sent to state run schools and taught to have responsible sex. Why dont we just get rid of our flag and replace it with a red flag with a yellow star in the middle. Just call me Vladomir from now on.
Yes, their vote counts the same as mine. No, I don't always assume pseudonymous internets commentary is done from a position ironically masquerading as irony. Yes, I try not to think about it. No, I cannot help myself. Yes, that makes me drink more. No, I prefer to be in a swishy stupor. Yes, thank you for your concern.
"Don't forget about your homework, pretend scholar."
Yes, brain, I haven't forgotten.
"Just picture everyone in their underwear."
"Not everyone looks like her, dude. Why you yourself are ugly as hell."
But I can do a passable Randal Graves impression. That's gotta count for something, right?
"Sure. Whatever makes you feel better."