Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Good, the Bad, the Semi-Beautiful and the Disconnected V

The Good: yeah, it's old news, but the Browns smacked the defending Super Bowl champs around like a red-headed stepchild.

The Bad: having to come back to work today. But such a pain is easily soothed with the following shot of morphine: I'll be here until closing, thus methinks I'll live blog the debate because it beats earning a paycheck helping morons -- one forgets just how much one hates people until they have to deal with them after an extended absence. Feel free to join me.

The Semi-Beautiful: the utter meltdown on and off the field of the Cowboys. Why only semi? Because owner Plastic Surgery Jones traded for Pro Bowl-calibre wideout Roy Williams yesterday.

The Disconnected: it was alternately relaxing and hair-pulling to completely avoid the current space-time nexus for a few days so I could work simultaneously on the written word and this. That brain ain't gonna shrink itself.

"Heh heh, the link says shrinking bra."
"Heh heh, shut up Beavis! Braless is better, heh heh."
"Heh heh, hmm hmm, boobies! Heh, heh, hmm hmm."

We're not at war with anyone else, are we? Did Obama get assassinated by some cracker hate-monger? Is he still promising tulips and unicorns? Did McPOW call anyone else a cunt? Did Mooselini shoot Cheney full on in the face?


FranIAm said...

Shrinking bra. It's why I wear one on my head.

Spartacus said...

Go ahead Randal. Gloat all you want. Every team has at least one bad week. At least they didn't choose to do it like last year's Patriots did on the last day. And did this post reference something about shrinkage? Suddenly, I'm feeling like George Costanza.

pissed off patricia said...

I admit I did smile for you when I heard the final score. I sent you a cyber pat on the back too.

As of Sunday I am writing my Cowboys off for another year. Romo is out of the next four games with a broken finger on his passing hand. They just traded away three draft picks next year for a new receiver and their coach reminds me of McCain. Just some old fool standing on the sidelines without a fu*king clue.

Sal Kilmister said...

Did you see the way my Dolphins lost a game they had won?

susan said...

Since I don't watch tv drinking is not a requirement. Considering my advanced age, brain shrinkage has served as a means to more intense focus. Positive aspects can be anticipated.

MRMacrum said...

I guess I should be gald someone's team won this weekend. But being the spoilsport I am, I'm not. So there. My Spring team is floundering hard and my Fall team seems destined to a season of mediocrity.

Übermilf said...

My brain will never shrink because I do soduku.

So there.

Candace said...

Romo's pinky is broken. The 'Boys lost the last two games *before* that happened. Woe, woe, and thrice woe. Pass the bottle; I feel some major shrinkage coming on.

(I'm thrilled to hear you're working on the written word, R! Send me something, k?)

Distributorcap said...

but the jets won

Randal Graves said...

fran, now that's sexy.

spartacus, I thought my gloating was quite low-key. I'm proud of myself. And your Seinfeld references are lost on me. ;-)

POP, I hate to defend Dallas because it's like defending Bush, but Roy Williams is probably worth those picks. He put up decent numbers on a completely garbage team.

I don't think Brad Johnson will stink up the joint, but they WILL need to run with a bit more authority.

Really, the top 10 teams in the NFC are all flawed equals for the most part, no?

sal, that was indeed funny. Unless you're, you know, a Dolphins fan.

susan, but doesn't that mean I'll be focusing more on the crap, too?

mrmacrum, I figured the Rays would be pretty damn good, but what the hell, Crawford is playing like Willie Mays! The Sox pitchers forgot to show up, too.

The Pats will still score a bunch next year with Brady, but man, is that defense looking worn out.

übermilf, that sounds furrin, and we don't do furrin here in Murka.

candace, pardon me, for I must laugh loud and boisterously.

Okay, I'll send a snippet. It's bloody awful.

dcap, I knew they did when I heard a scream for joy coming from the northeast and I said 'that must be dcap.'

Dusty said...

I too was happy for you when Da Browns won Monday night. I imagined you happy with a brew in your hand.

Williams is a great pickup for that fuckwit Jones. Like Steinbrenner, he has the ability to get the good ones...damn it all.

I will stop by during the debate Randal...can't have you sitting here all alone listening to McDesperate and the Big O. :)

La Belette Rouge said...

Red heads, plastic surgery, and hair. Great post, Randal. Well, that is what I read.

And, it was so sad to see McLame talk about how he has suffered from unspeakable racism and discrimination in this race. And how outraged he was to hear that people at Obama rallies are accusing him of being born in a clone factory and how Obama has done nothing to repudiate that claim.

Utah Savage said...

So, who bailed you out of jail?

And if you have been absent just writing real writing writing you owe us full disclosure. I showed you mine, so...

DivaJood said...

When did Cleveland get a football team? Geeze.

Angie said...

My husband, a Cleveland native was extremely happy about the outcome of the game.

Glad you're back but am happy you enjoyed your break and wish it were longer for you. Today you cleared up for me this confusion I've had as to why my head has continously felt lighter and lighter throughout the last decade or so...

Obama has added sunny beaches to the list. I personally could use a nice day at the beach. :)

Randal Graves said...

dusty, naw, no brew, it was after 1 and I had to get up for work. ;-)

You'll have to be my play-by-play! There's actually a teevee here at work, but it's not near the computer and I don't feel like running back and forth all night.

LBR, read whatever you wish into my posts. Some under the influence of illegal substances might find a brand new theory of quantum mechanics.

McPOW should be happy that we haven't talked about his true origin, a petri dish in Dr. Evil's lab.

utah, I've never served a second in my life. I follow the law, unlike you dirty hippies.

Yes, you did, but you've got literary sack, whereas I'm a coward.

diva, quite recently. You guys out in Chi-cah-go might want to look into getting one yourselves.

angie, I wish it was longer, too.

"So do we!"

Everyone, shut up. I guess the upside of having a less-functioning brain is that, theoretically, we'll focus on the annoying stuff less. Bet that's not the case.

Sunny beaches? Is it okay if we can have our choice of a cold, overcast one instead? ;-)

Dusty said... I will actuallly have to pay attention to the damn thing?

I was gonna partake in some herb during the debate..will that help or hurt? ;p

Randal Graves said...

Oh, by all means, the less sober the better. I don't want anyone to get the idea that this is a serious site. ;-)

Dusty said...

okey dokey!!

btw..the DOW is down 700+ points today..good for Obama..bad for old people.

okjimm said...

Cleveland won? What? What did they win? Ya know, I won, once, too. Got me a John Denver album in the Readers Digest Sweepstakes! I thought Ed would deliver but it just came in the mail.

//My brain will never shrink because I do soduku.//

Soduku? What? Do you smoke it or shoot it? Drink it neat or on the rocks? What is Soduku? How much for a gram? Can I get some before the deadbates?

Snave said...

Heheheheh! He said "Brown"! Hehhehhehe!

Uh... huhhuhhuh... huhhuhuhhuh!

Actually, I was glad to see the Browns win that one. I have always held a certain loathing for the Steelers. I don't know way... probably stems from some childhood trauma or something.

Tom Harper said...

Huh huh huh huh huh uh uh uh uh. That article said "shrinkage."

"I was in the pool!"

Utah Savage said...

I saw you claim in a little tete a' tete with Diva on twitter that you posted beefcake. So I came to check. I have scrolled back into your far distant past and you lied to Diva. She'll probably fire your ass for that. And I'm a tattle tale.

Candace said...

Beefcake? Where beefcake?

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, John Denver? My condolences. And we're in a War On Drugs man, sudoku is THE gateway drug!

snave, hey, you weren't the kid catching Mean Joe Greene's smelly ass jersey, were you?

utah and candace, I post pictures of hunky athlete dudes all the time! Plus all those McFossil shots and he was a fuckin' hero crashing all those planes!

Dusty said...

Randal my sweet...I have some bad news:

I have a photography class no debate for moi. :(

I forgot about the damn thing and they just called to remind me...gotta go, I paid cash money for this class..damn it.

Randal Graves said...

Boo hiss hiss! What's more important, listening to hot air and bloviation while getting baked, or improving yourself through art?

Dusty said...

Dude..I agree but I paid for the damn class...

I am so depressed, as I was really looking forward to spending some quality time w/you online..grrrrr.