Diamonds and Pearls - ECW t-shirts

1. Mr. Hafner, please stop wearing that silly shirt while you hawk Cox Cable on the teevee. You look like an idiot.
2. Mr. Hafner, please hit many home runs against The Fucking Yankees.
3. Predictions:

Arizona vs. Chicago: Don't look at the W-L records; the Cubs are the better team. The Diamondbacks have a stellar defense and Brandon Webb is a stud, but he can't do it by himself against Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, Rich Hill and the Cubs' suddenly power-mad offense. Cubs in 4.

Philadelphia vs. Colorado: Everyone had these teams playing in October, huh. Both played out of their fucking minds down the stretch, both have better offenses than pitching staffs, so it comes down to wild cards, x-factors and whatever cliché you care to dig up. I'll go with Cole Hamels. If he pitches like he's capable, the Phillies advance. So, Philadelphia in 5.

Boston vs. Anaheim (I know it's the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim's Anti-Semitic Corpse of Walt Disney Uber-Corp. Inc., but I don't fucking care - Boston vs. California! Dave Henderson! Donnie Moore! (just no one off themself, okay?): John Lackey pitches as well in Fenway as I would and I can't see Garrett Anderson continuing his MVP-like second half. The Red Sox have a scarier lineup and though their bullpen has imploded down the stretch, I can't see that continuing either. Though all of those shouldn'ts still could, I see Boston in 4.

Cleveland vs. The Fucking Yankees: "Good pitching always beats good hitting" is a crock, otherwise Atlanta would have about seven trophies instead of one, but good pitching certainly helps. Front-to-back - well, maybe not Baserunners Joe Borowski - we have the better staff and our offense can be just as lethal. Our 1-2 is better than their 1-2, so Tribe in 5.

For those of you who don't live in Cleveland or New York and are not soulless frontrunners, perhaps these will help you decide who to root for:














2007 Cleveland Indians team photo.












2007 New York Yankees team photo.


Fuck The Fucking Yankees.