Thursday, October 25, 2007

OMFG! Teh TAXXX !*%^@#$&*(%^@#$&*%^&*

Charlie, this ain't gonna surf.

The House's top Democratic tax writer on Thursday unveiled a $1 trillion plan to repeal the alternative minimum tax and lower the tax burden on most lower- and middle-income people.
The most comical part? The fact that this isn't even halfway to what we'll end up spending on The Eternal War On Über-Hitlerian Stalinist DFH Islamocommunistomarxianfascist Baby-Blood-Drinking Nun-Beheading Jihadism. Of course, there are predictably some who are less-than-enthused about Mr. Rangel's proposal.
Republicans quickly voiced strong opposition to the long-term plan. "This is the largest individual income tax increase in history," Rep. Jim McCrery of Louisiana, Rangel's low-key GOP counterpart on the committee, wrote fellow Republicans. Rangel, he said, "is selling pure snake oil."
At first glance, I became slightly incensed at the inherent message of the adjective low-key, but then quickly realized that as the current Republican breed swims, saying a Democrat is selling pure snake oil indeed registers pretty low on the LeftCo Angry-O-Meter. He could've stated that by passing tax increases on those who have gorged themselves into exploding stomachs - deadly sin for thee and not for me - at the trough of the American taxpayer for the last six years is exactly what Al-Qaeda would want. Because if this increase on those who can easily afford it were to pass, the government would have more money to fight the fires that Al-Qaeda itself started - wait, forget I mentioned it. Trying to comprehend wingnut logic hurts my brain.

HIGHER TAXES, PEOPLE!

Don't you want to keep more of your hard-earned money to buy more guns and ammo so you can fight off Al-Qaeda during the inevitable invasion, thereby thwarting their plan to force your wife to accessorize with burkas and put your children in madrasahs?

8 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

The Eternal War On Über-Hitlerian Stalinist DFH Islamocommunistomarxianfascist Baby-Blood-Drinking Nun-Beheading Jihadism.

Nun-beheading! Oh f&#k!!!!

I think the Republicans think this war is going to magically pay for itself and China will just forgive our debt.

Randal Graves said...

Oh, I wouldn't worry. With your Halloween-y Zombie Nun costume, you'd go unnoticed at nearly any GOP function. :)

You might be right. Our shiny shiningness will endear ourselves to our increasingly capitalistic Chinese brothers and sisters. You don't worry about the debt, and you can continue to do whatever you want inside your borders. Hell, they have the Olympics next year so obviously they're on the right track!

Mary Ellen said...

Ummm...the Habit is my Halloween costume, but the face is real. ;-)

Robert Rouse said...

Randal, I will be using this post later today for the BWR. And for your information, I think I enjoy snark a heckuva lot more than any other form of political commentary. It's quick and to the point!

Randal Graves said...

Mary Ellen, I understand. And for the record, I don't always have my eyes closed. That was merely the instant the photo was snapped. :)

Robert, thanks! I agree, especially on the internets. I love a well-researched, in-depth article as much as anyone, but trying to read such a thing on a computer screen isn't my idea of fun.

Tom Harper said...

What, a tax break for lowlife working stiffs? What kind of socialist treehugging nonsense is that?

FranIAm said...

War? Debt? Whatever are you people talking about?

And what or who on earth is al-Qaeda???

This whole blog thing confuses me sometimes...

Oh how I wish this were all one big joke. But it is not, is it?

We are sca-rewed! And at least Mary Ellen has all her good nun-wear, that is almost "burqa-ready-to-wear." I got nuthin'. What happened to my old chapel veil, I wonder????

Randal Graves said...

Tom, I got some bark in my eye, hence all the gobbledygook I posted. Sorry about that!

Fran, it's a complicated series of tubes. I gave up trying to understand them, and you should too. I better grow a beard and dye it black before the caliph comes marching through!