Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Money talks and E.coli walks around your intestinal tract with impunity

I know this issue isn't as sexy as Blackwater, but this does just as fine a job in exposing the yawning abyss that is the Republican soul.

Yesterday, Mike Leavitt, secretary of health and human services and chairman of a panel established by President Bush to study the safety of imported food, reflected that point of view when he said: "We simply cannot inspect our way to safety."
I'd prefer sorcery myself, with all the pyrotechnics and luminous clouds of exploding stars and whatnot. Very cool, but not very practical, being an imaginary thing like a compassionate conservative. So, what to do?
Government and industry officials note that the sheer volume of imports - $2.2 trillion this year, twice the level in 2000 - makes increasing inspections impractical. It would require hundreds, if not thousands, of new inspectors, and would slow business at the borders, they say.
"Oh, boy! The deep fryer's here. Heh, heh, I got it used from the navy. You can flash-fry a buffalo in forty seconds."
"Forty seconds? But I want it now!"

Again, I say, what to do?
"That's called technology."

So we can expect the same high-level of service and concern that our sea and airports are receiving. Better stock up on Pepto Bismol and antibiotics. But you guys are right about an increase in inspections costing more. Golly gee, if only we had some extra money lying around, but we wasted it on lollipops, Zagnut bars and weed.

6 comments:

pissed off patricia said...

Man, we are fighting a war to keep our freedoms and to keep us safe. We have no time or money for health concerns. If we take care of the American people, the terrorist will win. We need all available money to buy guns and bullets so that we can kill people in other countries who might want to do us harm. So if a few hundred people in our own country get sick and die because they have eaten food with god knows what kind of shit in it, it's the patriotic thing to do in the name of fighting terrorist or something.


Yes, that's all snark :)

PoliShifter said...

You know what else wil grind business to a halt? Thousands of people dying fromm contaminated food.

Randal Graves said...

I'll take an order of guns, hold the butter, thanks!

And I don't know, Poli. Isn't that why God created illegal immigrants? If any White Christians die, we can have their positions filled with some swarthy types. [just don't tell Lou Dobbs!]

Tom Harper said...

We don't need food inspectors; what a waste of taxpayers' money. A true American will eat the food that's put in front of him without any whining, and then go out and kill Ay-rabs.

Grace Nearing said...

Stick to Twinkies, CheezDoodles, and Absolut Vodka and you'll do just fine. Oh, and take about 25 once-daily multiple vitamins each day and a fiber supplement.

Randal Graves said...

What about hot dogs? The quintessential American food: the refuse from processed carcasses that your dog wouldn't eat, strands of hair, rat droppings, and doesn't it look tasty with just a bit of black from your charcoal grill? Yum!

And I'll pass on the Absolut. That's from Sweden, and I heard they read newspapers and have single-payer health care. CommunoSocialMarxists.